Anyone there to help this Pitiful Gal?

[X_plorer]

This is a true fact, which happens few days ago. I was very very fed up, so i post this tread and ask for help for this Vietnam Lady who is a friend of my wife's.

My wife just brought me to see her friend last Sunday, there is this uncle who married my wife's friend last year. Which i thought my wife is blowing up the story only when i feel it myself, the gal went out with us for a meal together, then to catch up for a while with my wife, but her husband call up and ask where we are, then also ask for my wife's contact.

But here comes the trouble, he call around 10 min later asking where we are going, and ask a lots of question, going where, going to do what, etc..., then after 20 min, he called again, asking where is our exact location, what time coming back etc... then another 10 min called again, asking where is the exact location again, and another 10 min call again, which i n my wife dun even bother to ans, when total to 23 missed call from my mobile, dun how many missed call from her wife's mobile.

But that's not the worst, he calculate even a single cent with his wife that going here and there, like petrol cost to go here and there to eat, so expensive, how much it cost, then eat seafood expensive...etc. I can't even imagine, her wife requested just to eat 2 crab, and my wife told me that the husband didn't even buy for her to eat just because expensive, come on, how expensive is that?

And even she wanted to buy chat chat card to call back to Vietnam, she have to pay for herself.

Here comes the most annoying part. The husband will only give her household allowance after every 30 days in Singapore and will only give 10 days upon reaching 30 days, and she is suppose to work with him from morning 6am to 6pm giving her $50 daily only after work, only food, the husband will pay for her, but all the other things which the wife's need or other things, she would have to pay for herself. I even heard that her husband got a son and a daughter already, but only the son is staying with him. But he even collect rental from his son just because he is staying with him.

The gal told my wife that her husband change totally after marriage from day 1. Which i think, who can endure this type of treatment, is she his wife, or just treating her like a overnight booking working whore?

This uncle is a 60 plus old uncle and the gal is just 20 plus.. And he didn't even give a single cent to her family when married. He is such a miser till who can tolerate this kind of person and act. He is not poor, i seen his car, he can buy a korean car at around $70plus k and fully paid, and wanted to change car in a few months time, and his house also fully paid. But he can be so bastard..

So anyone can figure out who can help the gal to divorce the husband? But the issue is the gal do not have money to pay for the lawyer, but the husband would not file for divorce and pay for the fees neither.

If any bros here wants to know the address of this bastard son of a bitch, i can even find out. I only know he lives at AMK, Blk 547 or 5**, can't remember well, on the second level.

Any comments on this type of people?

[commando23]

ur wife can help her friend by asking the friend to go to the courts to file for divorce due to can't stand the husband and can't live with the husband wat.....annul the marriage. The marriage is still quite early rite? only less than a few months?

I dunno what that term is called. but if u can't tahan living with ur husband due to different personality, there's such a thing that u can do to annul the marriage but have to pass thru courts.

[TheGreatOne]

dun mean any cold water but there is this saying: 家家有本難唸的經

as outsider, sometimes can't help it la. I'm pretty sure bros here would agree to this unwritten rule of never to interfere with other's home affair.

the old man might be feeling insecure. imagine a 60s ah pek with 20s young wife, not worry meh? He may be just giving little to his wife but at least $50 a day leh. Some make the wife help out without single cent, dude. That one lagi kolian but what to do?

To advocate separation is never a good advice unless he physically abuse her or make money out from her then different story.

peace dude.

2cents...

[trefyes]

Bro X_plorer,

Are you hearing just 1 side of the story??

[ekemono]

if they have consumate the marriage then probably cannot void it so easily.
But on the other hand, why choose to marry a 60 yr old man when she is only 20?

[deptrai4u]

Originally Posted by trefyes

Bro X_plorer,

Are you hearing just 1 side of the story??

To me, I think that it is not so simple to pass a judgment that says He is BAD and SHE is the VICTIM.

In the very first place, nobody force her to marry an ugly old man. Is also her negligence for not conducting sufficient due diligence before signing the contract if all the above is true. But if she was really in a hurry to marry this old rich ugly dying man and jump into it without much consideration, then think of what kind of situation she is in before she married that old ugly dying man.

Next, you need to also know what has she done before that makes him not trust her. This young girl may have other young bf that this old man knows about. Imagine if you are that old man, you will be quite generous if you had even let her go out with her friend and have some time on her own.

S$50 per day... her conditions previously in Vietnam could be a S$50 per week if she is lucky, otherwise S$50 per 2 weeks is more likely the case.

Eating crab... if she has all the rice, meat and vege to eat to her heart's content but crab is just not part of the deal.. then that old man must be quite a miser, however it not a crime being a miser. But think of it this way.. old man must have thought that she is not worth investing so much money for some good reasons that he has. It is therefore her job to work into the trust of her old man and convince him to give her more luxury. Most old man at 60 have been thru life and can usually see more in life than just money. They usually have a plan or a reason to behave in such a manner.

Many viet woman who marries a viet man, eventually also ended up divorce becos the men they married simply is a useless bump who does not work, take drugs, feed on wife's money and squandered on other girls.... Many viet woman who married China men or Taiwan men, ended up going back with them and working in the farm and at night the brothers, uncles etc take turns to sleep with her... she is much better off staying in vietnam. Your wife (I guess is also a viet) whom you marry and whom you treated her very well, is very lucky woman and she really have to thanks her lucky stars for you. But that does NOT entitle her friend to have the same good fate! Life is unfair, right from the moment you were born. And there is just nothing we can do about it but live with it and make the best out of it.

Finally, as you can think she is pitiful... does she really needs your help in any way? or are you just acting without her consent? If she really wants your help or anyone's help to get out of the situation, then its simple.. ask her to choose 1 of the following:
1. Leave him and go back to where she came from exactly the same way she was before and not ask for anything or money from old man.
2. Proceed with divorce which she will be entitled 50% of old man's asset and then she can choose to live life the way she wants in Singapore or Vietnam...
3. Continue life the way it is now with that miser old ugly dying man and keep complaining and be miserable.

You ask her to choose... and you will know what she is made of.

I am making the above comments in the fairest way I can.. with sufficient knowledge of the Vietnamese language, culture and experience.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by X_plorer

Any comments on this type of people?

There are so many stories of men being taken for a ride and swindled by women, it's therefore great to hear about a woman on the receiving end for a change.

This 60 year old uncle is doing Singapore proud. I congratulate him for showing his wife who is the boss!

[SingViet]

The thing that is missing in their relationship is TRUST. Its either the husband is overly suspicios or the wife has not been giving the husband that she can be trusted. To be true, this is the main thing lacking in most Singapore - Vietnamese relationship. The reason is most vietnamese gals do a lot of things behind the back of Singapore. Not one or two, but there's a lot of Vietnamese ladies still in contact with their former bfs in vietnam even after they are married to Singaorean man and this is just one of the things they do behind their singaporean husband's back.

If you have been married long enuff to a Vietnamese lady and have stayed in vietnam with them for some time and also understand their culture, then you will be more willing to look at both side of the coin. It took me around 3 years and numerous incidents to trust my wife. to a large extend, many singaporean man do not even know that their vietnamese wife is doing a lot of things behind their back. but once they discover, the trust for their vietnamese wife will be gone. Trust is not given, it has to be earned.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by deptrai4u

I am making the above comments in the fairest way I can.. with sufficient knowledge of the Vietnamese language, culture and experience.

Bro, we share the same view and thoughts on this matter.

[X_plorer]

Originally Posted by trefyes

Bro X_plorer,

Are you hearing just 1 side of the story??

Not 1 side story, but actual i did even talk to the uncle on the phone and seen him from a distance.

He is really so stuck up and really like police giving a curfew to a person..

[X_plorer]

Originally Posted by ekemono

if they have consumate the marriage then probably cannot void it so easily.
But on the other hand, why choose to marry a 60 yr old man when she is only 20?

You think she got choice meh, her family poor, no money. No choice come here at least got someone to take care of her and her family a bit but end up in this situation.

[X_plorer]

Originally Posted by deptrai4u

To me, I think that it is not so simple to pass a judgment that says He is BAD and SHE is the VICTIM.

In the very first place, nobody force her to marry an ugly old man. Is also her negligence for not conducting sufficient due diligence before signing the contract if all the above is true. But if she was really in a hurry to marry this old rich ugly dying man and jump into it without much consideration, then think of what kind of situation she is in before she married that old ugly dying man.

Next, you need to also know what has she done before that makes him not trust her. This young girl may have other young bf that this old man knows about. Imagine if you are that old man, you will be quite generous if you had even let her go out with her friend and have some time on her own.

S$50 per day... her conditions previously in Vietnam could be a S$50 per week if she is lucky, otherwise S$50 per 2 weeks is more likely the case.

Eating crab... if she has all the rice, meat and vege to eat to her heart's content but crab is just not part of the deal.. then that old man must be quite a miser, however it not a crime being a miser. But think of it this way.. old man must have thought that she is not worth investing so much money for some good reasons that he has. It is therefore her job to work into the trust of her old man and convince him to give her more luxury. Most old man at 60 have been thru life and can usually see more in life than just money. They usually have a plan or a reason to behave in such a manner.

Many viet woman who marries a viet man, eventually also ended up divorce becos the men they married simply is a useless bump who does not work, take drugs, feed on wife's money and squandered on other girls.... Many viet woman who married China men or Taiwan men, ended up going back with them and working in the farm and at night the brothers, uncles etc take turns to sleep with her... she is much better off staying in vietnam. Your wife (I guess is also a viet) whom you marry and whom you treated her very well, is very lucky woman and she really have to thanks her lucky stars for you. But that does NOT entitle her friend to have the same good fate! Life is unfair, right from the moment you were born. And there is just nothing we can do about it but live with it and make the best out of it.

Finally, as you can think she is pitiful... does she really needs your help in any way? or are you just acting without her consent? If she really wants your help or anyone's help to get out of the situation, then its simple.. ask her to choose 1 of the following:
1. Leave him and go back to where she came from exactly the same way she was before and not ask for anything or money from old man.
2. Proceed with divorce which she will be entitled 50% of old man's asset and then she can choose to live life the way she wants in Singapore or Vietnam...
3. Continue life the way it is now with that miser old ugly dying man and keep complaining and be miserable.

You ask her to choose... and you will know what she is made of.

I am making the above comments in the fairest way I can.. with sufficient knowledge of the Vietnamese language, culture and experience.

Hey Bro, what can i say for your answer.

GOOD!

I'm not acting on my own but just my wife ask me to help her a bit. I not so free until put down my work just to help her. Here is Singapore, No WORK, NO MONEY. Then NO MONEY NO HONEY..

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by X_plorer

You think she got choice meh, her family poor, no money. No choice come here at least got someone to take care of her and her family a bit but end up in this situation.

Bro, i wish to know if your wife is a vietnamese. If vietnamese, how long have u been married to her? Have u stayed in Vietnam for a period of time to understand their culture? Yes, there may be a possibility that the old man is sick and terrible, but the chances of the viet gal doing things that led the man to lose his trust in her is even higher.

[X_plorer]

Originally Posted by SingViet

The thing that is missing in their relationship is TRUST. Its either the husband is overly suspicios or the wife has not been giving the husband that she can be trusted. To be true, this is the main thing lacking in most Singapore - Vietnamese relationship. The reason is most vietnamese gals do a lot of things behind the back of Singapore. Not one or two, but there's a lot of Vietnamese ladies still in contact with their former bfs in vietnam even after they are married to Singaorean man and this is just one of the things they do behind their singaporean husband's back.

If you have been married long enuff to a Vietnamese lady and have stayed in vietnam with them for some time and also understand their culture, then you will be more willing to look at both side of the coin. It took me around 3 years and numerous incidents to trust my wife. to a large extend, many singaporean man do not even know that their vietnamese wife is doing a lot of things behind their back. but once they discover, the trust for their vietnamese wife will be gone. Trust is not given, it has to be earned.

You are very right, bro.. It also takes me a lot of time to trust my wife and my wife to trust me back..

Vietnam relationship is not an easy game to play.

It really takes a lot of hardship, time, effort and money to play..

But not only Viet ans Sing realtionship which i think, i would say all countries relationship also got their each individual problems.

[Marshall JCM]

Just ask her go to make a police report or approach a lawyer for help on this matter