Life emotional setbacks. What would u do?

frivolous_ami · #1 03-06-2011, 12:58 AM

Hi all,

I am sure many bros came across the same. Setbacks in relationships and losing faith in marriage and many married bros putting up a front to keep their marriage alive.

But, i would want to pose a qn to all. If you have fallen not once but everytime and that the gals you loved have all lied or disappointed you, would continue to believe that someone out there would be worth your wait?

Posing this qn to every bro has been hurt, fallen or have been heartbroken at one pt in time or another. Hope to know what you guys think.

RealEstateGuy · #2 03-06-2011, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frivolous_ami

Hi all,

I am sure many bros came across the same. Setbacks in relationships and losing faith in marriage and many married bros putting up a front to keep their marriage alive.

But, i would want to pose a qn to all. If you have fallen not once but everytime and that the gals you loved have all lied or disappointed you, would continue to believe that someone out there would be worth your wait?

Posing this qn to every bro has been hurt, fallen or have been heartbroken at one pt in time or another. Hope to know what you guys think.

If your conclusion is statistically significant (ie large enough sample size) then the average result should point to the possibility you are picking the wrong women and/or are not aware of what they really think going into the relationship. Too many times, SG men think that a woman has fallen for them when they merely see you as a short-term lover, a financial sponge, or a for the moment guy. Sometimes, especially when you try to pursue the wrong women (ie KTV women or Geylang or someone from say a Viet fuck shop) its outright KC. I suggest you work on being more aware. If you are an athelete, you would understand the concept of field vision or being aware of what is going on all the time so you make the right play innately and intuitively. You need to work on developing that skill.

alan0338 · #3 03-06-2011, 12:30 PM

TS, dun be so dishearten leh,柴九say人生有几个十年，最重要活得痛快....

AfterApril · #4 04-06-2011, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frivolous_ami

Hi all,

I am sure many bros came across the same. Setbacks in relationships and losing faith in marriage and many married bros putting up a front to keep their marriage alive.

But, i would want to pose a qn to all. If you have fallen not once but everytime and that the gals you loved have all lied or disappointed you, would continue to believe that someone out there would be worth your wait?

Posing this qn to every bro has been hurt, fallen or have been heartbroken at one pt in time or another. Hope to know what you guys think.

Don't be dishearted nor give up , there is someone for you for sure !

Ichigo_Kurosaki · #5 04-06-2011, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frivolous_ami

.....
But, i would want to pose a qn to all. If you have fallen not once but everytime and that the gals you loved have all lied or disappointed you, would continue to believe that someone out there would be worth your wait?
......

Try not to be hyper-affectionate & EMO (重感情) when you're in a relationship or meet someone you fancy, the lesser you be hurt. When you fall out of love, do not ask "Why? and How Come?" cos there is only 1 answer: "She Don't Love You Anymore". It's as simply straight forward as that..No need to probe further whether she has someone new or who did what wrong?. Turn around walk away with your self esteem intact. This is the most solemn burial ceremony of a lost love.

Learn to love yourself more. You be fine!

zombie444 · #6 04-06-2011, 01:27 PM

TS, life goes on..

Be strong, at least remember the journey of lovey dovey...

frivolous_ami · #7 05-06-2011, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AfterApril

Don't be dishearted nor give up , there is someone for you for sure !

Appreciate everyone's reply. Very diplomatic views. But, back to this qn, what would guys do? Fell everytime (referring to courting normal non-wl) when in courtship. It could be wrong choice of gals. But, would anyone of sound mind continue to believe in the right one appearing eventually?

To add, what if you ve been the sucker everytime? Taken for a ride somemore everytime, to the point your buddies look at you as a pathetic loser. What would you do to improve the situation? Give up and take a foreign wife?

It seems that at some point, guys (i know of) become jaded and eventually lose faith in marriage and relationship. Normal to anyone out here?

Ichigo_Kurosaki · #8 05-06-2011, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frivolous_ami

.....Fell everytime (referring to courting normal non-wl) when in courtship. It could be wrong choice of gals. But, would anyone of sound mind continue to believe in the right one appearing eventually?

To add, what if you ve been the sucker everytime? Taken for a ride somemore everytime, to the point your buddies look at you as a pathetic loser. What would you do to improve the situation? Give up and take a foreign wife?

You mean EVERYTIME?

Taken for a ride? How so?

No offend. Could it be something wrong with yourself and your way of handling girls?

jasdude · #9 06-06-2011, 12:34 AM

Life is a learning curve , true enough hurt is always involved when the relationship does not work out to your expectation . But if you look back on what went wrong and reflect and channel your negative forces to the positive . You will become more positive and confident cos you know what went wrong and know what not to do and do to remedy any problems in future when problems arises in a relationship . You will become a better person ! Don't give up , have heart !

big wood · #10 06-06-2011, 12:20 PM

if you never be hurt or feel pain before,how will u know that u has ever love before

Rub&Buah · #11 06-06-2011, 06:29 PM

Over the years,I been practicing a great quote from a good friend.Johnny walker'keep walking'.

It's really not easy to walk on when u suffer from heartbreak,emotion setback and hurt,depress.we may take a break and stop to cry,to look back the steps that we had walk and the more u walk on.the stronger u become.

feelmetonight · #12 06-06-2011, 10:18 PM

It feels so bad when the ones you loved lied to you and disappointed you.

Everytime I end a relationship, I will pick up something I have never tried before - indian dancing, Muay Thai (though it was just a few days lol), bakery lesson etc.

I also understand I was the only one to be blamed. I knew what would be the end, but I still jumped into the illusion without hesitation.

Will I still believe in love?

I dont know. But I know I wont be able to hold myself when it comes. I dont really care about those guys any more. But I still remember all those beautiful moments we used to have - those sparkling nights, home made brunch on Sunday morning, free delivery when I was sick, all the lame jokes we shared etc.

Well, life is short but sweet for certain.

Cheers

lemontee · #13 07-06-2011, 01:51 PM

I actually register just so to post a reply to this question....keke..sorry i know TS pose it only to bros but as a gal I have also experience many life emo setbacks... I also have been lied to and been disappointed many times over...but i keep on walking down the path and hoping one day I can meet the right one. For me i tell myself not to have great expectations on him...for every expectation there is bound to have disappointment. So..dont expect any and u wont have disappointment. Its like jigsaw puzzle, only one piece will fit out of the many many..and it take helluva long to find that fitting one piece.. but just dont give up, just my 2 cents worth...

Ichigo_Kurosaki · #14 07-06-2011, 04:50 PM

TS might have found someone new already. MIA liao la

Anyway it takes 2 hands to clap, it is not necessary always the other person's fault..Though sometimes, some girls do things that cause us to walk away but at times, it can be our fault too! Typically everyone of us choose to play the victim when it comes to failed relationships and it is just so easy for us to point and blame the other person for everything, even blaming them for our own feelings/fault.

However when we really look at into it, we will realise that nobody wants to feel at fault, so we avoid the guilt by blaming the other cos fault means failure and now with everyone so focused on winning (thanks to our educational system) - Just blame other people la, it feeds our ego

I understand that seeing our own faults is often quite difficult, but it’s not impossible. We should all try to hold ourselves to the same standard (avoiding double standard) that we do with the other person. If we’re judging them, judge ourselves. When game over, we got to look inwards and reflect cos everyone need to take responsibility in a relationship, especially if we blame the other person in EVERY FAILED relationships. Cheers

Flinger2 · #15 07-06-2011, 06:19 PM

TS,

I've been in your situation quite a few times. The way I came out of it is that I try to find out the pattern in my relationship. What has caused this recurrent problem.

You need to find that out too? Often the problem could be the type of girl you are going for.... or you are too in love with the girl but the girl is not and thus she holds more power and she feel like you are her slave kinda and thus over time she does not find you attractive any more or etc...etc...

Look at yourself and the past relationships with honesty and you will find the problem.

You should also know what are you really looking for? ya...ya...no generic replies please, Do you what you are really going for?

Also, do you sabotage your relationships....some people when things are going right, they will find a way to sabotage their relationship as they fear that everything is going well, so something bad is going to happen and start to suspect their love etc....

Unless, you do this with a clear head, you will going on round about pattern again and again.

Take care .