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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #1  
Old 26-08-2009, 04:37 PM
NewandLost NewandLost is offline
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Emotional Blackmail AKA "KC"

KC is nothing but emotional blackmail be it done by a PRC, VC, or Pino, or Malay or local SG girl. All the same tactic. Here is some ways to handle it. See link for specific responses. Best course of preventation is avoidance in my opinion braddah.


Emotional Blackmail

EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL
Emotional Blackmailers:


Threaten to make things difficult if you don't do what they want.


Constantly threaten to end the relationship if you don't give in.


Regularly ignore or discount your feelings and wants.


Tell you or imply that they will neglect, hurt themselves, or become depressed if you don't do what they want.


Shower you with approval when you give into them and take it away when you don't.


Use money as a weapon to get their own way.




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Emotional blackmail is a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten (either directly or indirectly) to punish us if we don't do what they want. At the heart of any kind of blackmail is one basic threat, which can be expressed in many different ways: If you don't behave the way I want you to, you will suffer. A criminal blackmailer might threaten to use knowledge about a person's past to ruin her reputation, or ask to be paid off in cash to hide a secret. Emotional blackmail hits closer to home. Emotional blackmailers know how much we value our relationship with them. They know our vulnerabilities. Often they know our deepest secret. And no matter how much they care about us, when they fear they won't go their way, they use this intimate knowledge to shape the threats that give them the payoff they want: our compliance. Knowing that we want love or approval, our blackmailers threaten to withhold it or take it away altogether, or make feel we must earn it. For example, if you pride yourself being generous and caring, the blackmailer might label you selfish or inconsiderate if you don't accede to his wishes. If you value money and security, the blackmailer might attach conditions to providing them or threaten to take them away. And if you believe the blackmailer, you could fall into a pattern of letting him control your decisions and behavior. We get locked into a dance with blackmail, a dance with myriad steps, shapes and partners.

Emotional blackmailers hate to lose. They take the old adage "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game", and turn it on its head to read "It doesn't matter how you play the game as long as you do not lose." To an emotional blackmailer, keeping your trust doesn't count, respecting your feelings doesn't count, being fair doesn't count. The ground rules that allow for healthy give-and-take go out the window. In the midst of what we thought was a solid relationship it's as though someone yelled "Everyone for himself!" and the other person lumped to take advantage of us while our guard was down. Why is winning so important to blackmailers, we ask ourselves. Why are they doing this to us? Why do they need to get their way so badly that they'll punish us if they don't?


Below are some specific ways to answer the most common types of responses. It can't emphasize too strongly how important it is to practice saying these statements until they feel natural to you. How to respond to the other person's catastrophic predictions and threats. Punishers and self-punishers may try pressuring you to change your decision by bombarding you with visions of the extreme negative consequences of doing what you've decided to do. It's never easy to resist the fear that their bleak vision will come to pass, especially when the theme they're pounding home is "Bad things will happen - and it'll be your fault." But hold your ground.
  #2  
Old 27-08-2009, 01:51 PM
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loneyheart loneyheart is offline
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Re: Emotional Blackmail AKA "KC"

If any bro here had enter into this stage ....
It time to end t game n move on..b4 u get hurt ( heart )
Well u had already paid for their svcs so no hearts feelin anyway
Move on b4 u get trapped deeper....
It just a game anyway u has to end it somehow or rather n matter of time...
there r a bigger garden out there
Wake up as a diff man
  #3  
Old 27-08-2009, 02:39 PM
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leecs leecs is offline
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Re: Emotional Blackmail AKA "KC"

Been there, done that, got decapitated & raised from the dead...

I will still go cheong, but with caution...
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Old 10-10-2009, 09:29 PM
PowerTAN_P_W PowerTAN_P_W is offline
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Re: Emotional Blackmail AKA "KC"

threadstarter why u start so many threads on the same topic? are u also a victim?
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Old 11-10-2009, 01:01 AM
NewandLost NewandLost is offline
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Re: Emotional Blackmail AKA "KC"

Quote:
Originally Posted by PowerTAN_P_W View Post
threadstarter why u start so many threads on the same topic? are u also a victim?
1) its thought provoking.
2) i have experienced a form of it.
3) its a public service to everyone to discuss this topic.
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