Help to improve sex life...

[tissue]

Hi all,

I have been a regular female reader at SB without actually registering myself. Most of the time I would just use my guy friend's nick and log in to view all threads. I must say that it has been an enjoyable experience for me. I didnt dare register and post anything as I was afraid that my friend would know who am I even though we are very open about stuff like this.

Well, to start off, I am married with 2 kids. I have been with my husband for about 5 years, 3 of it married. I am 27 this year and my hubby is 32.

We both have regular sex, at least we make an effort to. We will do it at least twice a week if possible. We will do it mostly at home. I am always the more daring one, I would suggest to do it at some car parks at some ulu industrial estate at night or I suggested to go 81 Lavender for our previous rounds. I am very loud during sex and I hate having to control myself when we are doing it as the kids are sleeping with us. Thanks to some recommendations from some brothers here, we managed to release ourselves in some transit hotels.

Well, the problem I have now is that I have put on quite alot of weight during my pregnancies. I now weigh approximately 20kg more than before and I was about 48 kg last time. I had people not recognising me due to me putting on weight and it's not a good feeling. I am not blessed with good genes that allows me to retain my figure like some young mothers nowadays.

My husband says he does not mind, in fact, he hopes that I will remain like that so no other guys will be interested in me. However, this weight gain has caused me to be very embarrassed during sex. For example, I used to love being on top as it turned me on also when I knew that he was appreciating my body but now I simply hate it because I feel that the fats would really really turn him off even though he says it ok. I now love doggy only, the one where I would put my legs between his legs and my upper body is fully down on the bed. In this way, he will not see the fats so much and I can still enjoy. I hate missionary as when he looks down, I feel that he will see my fats.

I was very turned on last week when we did it in the living room and we both sat up together and faced each other and started rocking our bodies. But my belly was in the way and I started to hear the 'piak piak' sounds and it started to turn me off. So we ended up again, the me kneeling with upper body down style.

All in all, I am simply conscious of my fats.

Can the brothers here please advise. If your wife has a strong appetite for sex but is fat, will you be turned off? How to make it more exciting and more fun for us? I am open to ideas but please don't ask me to slim down as it's not easy I have been there and is finally able to be comfortable enough to be what I am. Anyway, I would love to do something to make it more exciting. We used to do it at least twice a day when we were dating and I feel that our current sex life is still pretty healthy, considering the fact that we have 2 kids. I am just so conscious of my fats which dis-allows me to enjoy throughly. Is it all just in my head? Please advise.

We will be going to Bangkok, just us with no kids, and I would like to really enjoy this trip with tons of sex but I'm afraid that my body will affect us. Btw, can we bring a vibrator on board? Thanks for your time taken and if you find me being paranoid or boring, at least appreciate me for helping you fill up 5mins of your day,ya?

[geckoSG]

hi there, here's my 2 cents worth of advise. Have you tried blind-folding your partner or yourself? This may help. Try a bit of kinkiness like bondage. Tie him to the bed, blind-fold him. Do what you think he will love you to do, let him enjoy... Then climb on him and let him taste you. You should be able to get the pleasure out of it...

My wife is also having a flubby tummy after her delivery of my beautiful son, but i still love her, its how you make sex exciting, although I admit that visual effects will affect the way you enjoy, but there are other ways to make it exciting...

To us guys, sometimes, imagination helps makes us cum... no need to see, its how the gal make us excited... Cheeros!

[bunny]

My own view is that making love is all in the mind. If we are comfortable and happy, then we can begin to expereince the pleasure. However we often have a mental image in our head that the lady must be ... young, big breast ...etc... etc... (different people have different likes etc.) hence we "psycho" ourselves.

As for me ... the "connection" is more important ... looks should be generally acceptable.

So I will agree with your hubby that looks to hi probably does not count. BUt the extra weight does affect other thngs such as positions etc... hence may limit what you may do.

However all said ... I think the most important reason if you want to loose weight is to stay healthy ... health is more important than anything else.
Avoid late night dinners. Eat 2/3 or half of what you woudl normally eat at dinner ... then go for 30min or more alwk with your huby at nite ...can be nice and romantic and catch up with whats happenign with each other at work and your feelings and concerns with out the kids interrupting ... or bring yr kids along for some fo the walks. If after that your still feel hungry or somethign ...then dirnk half glass of low fatt milk ... it will help u thru the nite :-) ... cut down on sugar and softdrinks ... and if u drink kopi or tea ...eitehr O-kosong ... or teh-C or Kopi-C ...got no sugar.

:-) Hope this will be of some help. Cheers

[Speed280]

Tissue,

Wow, if all wives think like you, the prostitutes would be out of business... well almost.

Of course I mind if my women has toooo much fats. It shows that she does not know how to take care of her body, both for herself and me.

However, I think your problem is just being too self concious. I would never mind my woman putting on some weight as it is part of child birth and aging. What is important is she enjoys and continues to initiate sex. That is a bigger turn on, any time.

Great sex is better than a great body.

Enjoy Bangkok!
Speed.

[Ah Keong]

Hi Tissue

My ex is a heavy weight, but that did not turn me off when making love with her. Please noted that I'm using the word "making love" and not "having sex".

Is the emotional loving feeling that makes the different, the eye contact, the touch, etc. I have never mind she's heavy weight, otherwise we wldn't be together at the first plc (but we depart not bcos of the weight). As for the "piak piak" sound, hey that could turn him on, in fact, I enjoyed hearing the "piak piak" sound when I make love with my gf.

Once me and my gf when making love, she farted and we just laugh over it; The main point is that enjoyed the session; dun't need to feel ashamed of our body in front of our love one and dun't give yourself unnecessary pressure.

I truely believe your husband enjoys making love to you bcos he loves you and you should enjoyed that. As for the sit up position you enjoyed, my advise to you is continue with it; you deserve to enjoyed sex.

[curiosityz]

i feel that you are the one who gave birth to ur 2 wonderful kids, he sure feel grateful and i am sure from a guy perspective here, dun tink he will mind it

[Sin88]

Originally Posted by tissue

All in all, I am simply conscious of my fats.

I am open to ideas but please don't ask me to slim down as it's not easy I have been there and is finally able to be comfortable enough to be what I am.

For sex, you are willing to take the risk of being discovered who you are, You have taken a big step to claim back your great sex.

If you are simply conscious of you fats, than you have to do something, this show that it is not just in the mind it must have affecting you body, your physical fitness to enjoy great sex is affected.

The fats were gather during your pregnancies, during that about 32 weeks of pregnancy, your physical activities reduced, but your intake of food increase and this extended into your confinement period. After that you are just 20kg more prosperous, now your body will past a signal to your mind that you need to eat more to move this extra weight, but all the excess food you take is again converted into fat.

It is not easy to slim down, at least no shortcut, but if there is a will there is a way.

First reduce you intake of food, I don't mean you go on fasting, though this is the fasting month, just reduce the quantity, the serving size of your food, (you can eat all you can in Bangkok, is a sin for me to tell you not to eat) but remember the amount of food you eat, reduce the quantity. Try to drink a glass of plant water before meal, it work very well because it takes up the volume.

Second is to exercise or increase physical activities, e.g.. walk a few more steps a day, walk down the stairs instead of taking escalator.

Third enjoy your sexual activities, free your mind, the ' piak piak' sound is same as though you are very wet......enjoy it..

Finally have a great trip, enjoy yourself, watch your food intake, increase physical activities, you will get back to shape in no time.

I love women with some fats.

[littlelephant]

Originally Posted by tissue

Hi all,
We both have regular sex, at least we make an effort to. We will do it at least twice a week if possible. We will do it mostly at home.
Can the brothers here please advise. If your wife has a strong appetite for sex but is fat, will you be turned off? How to make it more exciting and more fun for us? I am open to ideas but please don't ask me to slim down as it's not easy I have been there and is finally able to be comfortable enough to be what I am. Anyway, I would love to do something to make it more exciting.
I am just so conscious of my fats which dis-allows me to enjoy throughly. Is it all just in my head? Please advise.
if you find me being paranoid or boring, at least appreciate me for helping you fill up 5mins of your day,ya?

Outdoor is good in fact anywhere anytime is good, being fat should not stop you from enjoying making love.
It's the passion you have for one another that makes making love work, else without passion it's just Sex, going thru the motion.
Anyway there is no short cuts to hardwork if you really put effort to lose weight i'm sure you can do it. Just stick to a goal and work towards it. Dont complain about hardwork nothing in life comes easy for everyone.

Ok so work hard and you will see results complaining about how hard it is and not starting will never show results. Never give up in what you seek to do.

[Rexell]

Here's what I think...

Seems that your husband does enjoy having sex with you even if you are fat. I think you only need to worry when he seems to have less interest in you sexually.

The problem does not lie with your husband or your body. It is there because you are not confident of your own body because you are fat. You just have to overcome your lack of confidence in order for you to be 'sextified' mentally and physically.

[john99]

Well congrats on having a happy family and wonderful sex life within yr marriage. As you know not many couples are sexually active after 2 kids.

Well my gal was 60 kg but at her height 1.65m she looks good to me. She found a diet from some friends: GM diet which was design for employees of GM many years ago. You may want to try that as she lost 5 kg in 1 week. The diet consist of mostly vege and fruits and if you can do it, I am sure you will gain a great pschological boost to yr self-esteem.

I don't think you should attach beauty to slim weight too much, 'bigger sized women' are also attractive. I think yr problem is more in yr head, yr husband will love you regardless so go ahead and enjoy yrselves in BKK.

P.S Do a search on GM Diet, it is worth trying even for overweight guys.

[tissue]

Originally Posted by geckoSG

hi there, here's my 2 cents worth of advise. Have you tried blind-folding your partner or yourself? This may help. Try a bit of kinkiness like bondage. Tie him to the bed, blind-fold him. Do what you think he will love you to do, let him enjoy... Then climb on him and let him taste you. You should be able to get the pleasure out of it...

My wife is also having a flubby tummy after her delivery of my beautiful son, but i still love her, its how you make sex exciting, although I admit that visual effects will affect the way you enjoy, but there are other ways to make it exciting...

To us guys, sometimes, imagination helps makes us cum... no need to see, its how the gal make us excited... Cheeros!

Hi there,

Thanks alot for your advise...We have been there and back and we have throughly enjoyed ourselves...I was thinking since we were in a place where I know nobody, I gave it my all..Vocally, mentally and physically...We have been playing with what you mentioned for a few already..

I am very open minded in bed but due to weight gain, I find it hard to feel sexy even though I still try to suck in my tummy at night..LOL...The weight gain has restricted certain poses and from certain angles, I look visually ugly...

Husband is ok with weight gain, it's just me but thanks alot for your help!

Cheers / Tissue

[beingunknown200]

Originally Posted by tissue

I am very open minded in bed but due to weight gain, I find it hard to feel sexy even though I still try to suck in my tummy at night..LOL...The weight gain has restricted certain poses and from certain angles, I look visually ugly...

Husband is ok with weight gain, it's just me but thanks alot for your help!

Well I am a supporter of hot wives, and one who enjoys sex. Have you ever thought about using those bustier which helps to tuck in your extra flesh and push them to give you both a good cleavage (which I am sure your hubby will love and get turned on, I would!), and it would give u a shapely womanly figure with the right curves around your hips. Usually you can have sex in such a bustier, cos the panties is separate from it. That way you will not be too conscious of your flesh bouncing when u r riding on top.

Or you can lie on your side and your hubby can "spoon" you from the back. Spooning can be a sexy position to have sex in.

Anyway I think the main issue here is that you might be overly too concerned with your extra flesh. I always find fleshy woman to be really sexy. The bigger the better!

Do share if the bustier really helps with you and your hubby

[tissue]

Hi,

Thanks alot for your advise..

We have tried that but when it gets down to sex, we would prefer to be fully naked to at least have the full body contact as my husband loves it!

The bustier was quite uncomfortable the last time I wore it and it's now sittin in my wardrode collecting dust..

Thanks for the help though...

Cheers / Tissue

[ragnarclaw]

Well i cant give you much advise on marriage sex live but perhaps some kinky idea..heehee. I always buy some "funny" clothes and toys at adult shop. perhaps you can bring your husband to the shop together and take a look on the stuffs there. Well i bought my gf nurse uniform, bunny and a leather police uniform.Maybe you can wear this to surprise your hubby at night cos you said you're very darling. Another things my gf like to do sometime is when i sent her home after a midnight show,she would like to give me a BJ on the stair and things might lead to another...(well we have standing sex on the stair,quite exciting actually). No harm trying...

[sitonski]

if hor, u feel abit uncomfortable abt yr body been seen by ur hubby hor.. maybe at the hotel room at yr trip, u can

A.dimmer the lights of the rooms?

B.use blindfold tat someone mention earlier.. (but abit like slutty?)

C.wear those long and nice but not so transparent lingerine? (look kinda sexy though,so even during the process hor, it is still worn, then the dress strap can be taken off and let it rest on tummy,so can cover abit?)

D.hug yr hubby during the missioXXXXX position, then he cant see le ma except ur face only^^

hope it helps