Is it normal for a married man to demand exclusivity?

LoveAngel · #1 27-05-2011, 05:19 PM

Can I ask ....

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

Sexy Under · #2 27-05-2011, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveAngel

*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

How can the married man be exclusive? His wife how? Eat herself meh?

For the girl, move on and there will be high morale, higher values, highest honor without any wanton!

liberatte · #3 27-05-2011, 05:28 PM

I think if there is a man like so, then he's a dumb man IMHO. For a person that eats outside, not only he does not know how to wipe his mouth, but he wants to keep his outside food overnight... I would personally just take a bite, chew for a while and spit it out... of course wipe my mouth...

Also, it takes 2 hands to clap.... does she allow him to do that?

newbieboy · #4 27-05-2011, 06:30 PM

it's right if both of them think it's right, but it's wrong if either one thinks it's wrong. why you bother what other people think?

hommedoux · #5 27-05-2011, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveAngel

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

This is called having a cake and wanting to eat all by himself. In the end, he will get choked. He can't be termed as exclusive to the girl unless he doesn't sleep with his wife anymore. Even if he tells the girl he doesn't, how can she be sure?

What can he gives this girl in return?

~ Boy/girl relationship? He's married.
~ Material gains? Is this what the girl wanted? If so, then why the questions in the first place.

imaginative · #6 27-05-2011, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveAngel

Can I ask ....

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

Qn 1:
It's 'normal' for the married man to have such expectation.

It's 'not fair' to the girlfriend because the gf does not have exclusivity on the man (sharing with the man with his wife)

There is no right or wrong, as long as both parties are happy and agreeable.

Qn 2:
Non-exclusivity - meaning the girl will be dating another guy at the same time? I think it's not about moral value. It merely means the gifl has a clear mind, and probably smart brain, to keep options open for herself.

Just my two cents worth.

Absolute · #7 27-05-2011, 07:55 PM

There are so many good, single and available men out there sincerely seeking love with view for a long term relationship leading to marriage. Such men may not be as interesting or better looking or richer than your married-man boyfriend but at least they provide you with lesser heartbreak and more security.

In short, if you think you are wanton (as you said it yourself), the you really deserve it.

No offence but I am just being honest.

Reoxy · #8 27-05-2011, 08:29 PM

Being possessive in a relationship is a trait common to both sexes. However, it is not a definitive show of love. It is simply human nature.

It is never adviseable for a single/ married man/ woman to be DEEPLY involved with a/ another married woman/ man unless a new communion can be established from this relationship. This is even more so if there are children involved.

If a married party is a able to break the existing marriage even though there has been no infidelity or serious problems, said party is not a reliable partner.

It is all about commitment and responsibility.

It is a personal choice. There is no right or wrong, only is it worth it or not.

LoveAngel · #9 27-05-2011, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sexy Under

How can the married man be exclusive? His wife how? Eat herself meh?

Exclusive to each other other than spouse i guess .... means not seeing or going out with other people??

Quote:

Originally Posted by liberatte

Also, it takes 2 hands to clap.... does she allow him to do that?

She doesn't ... but hard to walk out of it .....

Quote:

Originally Posted by newbieboy

it's right if both of them think it's right, but it's wrong if either one thinks it's wrong. why you bother what other people think?

Yeah, I think you said it right .... but that's where the problem is I guess.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Absolute

...... Such men may not be as interesting or better looking or richer than your married-man boyfriend but at least they provide you with lesser heartbreak and more security.

In short, if you think you are wanton (as you said it yourself), the you really deserve it. No offence but I am just being honest.

Not me lah ..... so no worries ... no offence ....

SamDucky · #10 27-05-2011, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveAngel

Can I ask ....

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

Well Well! I'm in such a case... I guess it depends on the character. I'm a possessive person, so in all senses, I would like exclusivity, particularly in this case where health and cleanliness is concerned as well. There is an element of emotional attachment as well , not just to the wife but to the gf as well. Rightfully mentioned earlier as well that there's no right or wrong... we all only live once... just make the best out of it and if there's some emotional distress about it... it's just a matter of perception... just change another view ... perhaps you'll feel different about this

Painter1118 · #11 27-05-2011, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveAngel

Can I ask ....

Is it normal, is it fair, is it right .... for the married man to demand & expect exclusivity, be possessive & obsessive with the girlfriend?
*** assuming this married man really really love the girl & he chose to be exclusive to her?

And if the girl chooses non-exclusivity since we all know there will be no conclusive end to the relationship, does that mean she has lower moral values, more wanton & is less honorable?
*** assuming the man refused to leave his wife AND the girlfriend?

I got this kind of feeling when I two-timed.

LoveAngel · #12 27-05-2011, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hommedoux

This is called having a cake and wanting to eat all by himself. In the end, he will get choked. He can't be termed as exclusive to the girl unless he doesn't sleep with his wife anymore. Even if he tells the girl he doesn't, how can she be sure?

What can he gives this girl in return?
~ Boy/girl relationship? He's married.
~ Material gains? Is this what the girl wanted? If so, then why the questions in the first place.

Hommedoux,
You said it! Does most (if not all) married men all wanna have their cake & eat it too???

What he can offer the girl?
- The comfort of having someone by your side who's your soul mate?
- Who can fulfill your emotional or intellectual or sexual needs?

Quote:

Originally Posted by imaginative

Qn 1:It's 'normal' for the married man to have such expectation.

It's 'not fair' to the girlfriend because the gf does not have exclusivity on the man (sharing with the man with his wife)

There is no right or wrong, as long as both parties are happy and agreeable.

Qn 2:
Non-exclusivity - meaning the girl will be dating another guy at the same time? I think it's not about moral value. It merely means the gifl has a clear mind, and probably smart brain, to keep options open for herself. .

Does a married man have a right to demand the girl (be it single or married) to remain exclusive to him (other than to their own spouses)???

I guess it's ok if he's "keeping" her & providing to her daily necessities aka mistress ... but if it's not .... hmm ... not normal, not right, not fair isn't it ....

Yes, I agree ... and I finally understand .... "There is no right or wrong, as long as both parties are happy and agreeable" ...

LoveAngel · #13 27-05-2011, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reoxy

It is all about commitment and responsibility.

It is a personal choice. There is no right or wrong, only is it worth it or not.

Reoxy dear,
Guessed you sum it all up nicely ....
At the end of the day, it's all about how much commitment & how much responsibility you wanna accord to each other.

Whatever that's agreed upon or not agreed upon, it's all personal choice.
Other than no right and no wrong, the key question is ...... is it worth it?

pussluver · #14 27-05-2011, 11:00 PM

I have many flings previously and is currently having one as well, of course, having wife at home all this while.

yes, sometimes the exclusivity tends to want to come in, but think for urself, what can u offer the outside party?

Nothing! unless u wanna divorce ur wife and remarries the woman.

so, u cannot officially ask her for exclusivity. Remember, she has her own life to live as well, and if she wants a fling, just go for it and clean break off after that.

COntrol ur emotions..... never fall totally in love with her..... if not, u be digging ur own grave

Remember, alimony is tough.

imaginative · #15 28-05-2011, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveAngel

Reoxy dear,
Other than no right and no wrong, the key question is ...... is it worth it?

It's not worth your killing lots of your brain cells to think about this question.

most pple do what makes them "feel good".

Just like eating fast food - scientifically proven to be unhealthy and therefore concluded as "not worth it"- but pple still eat! because it makes them "feel good".

Back to relationship problem - it's about emotion and mental connection - no way to prove whether "worth it"or "not worth it".

Life is short, if you can be with someone you truly love for just a month - is it worth the effort?

This type of discussion is never ending...