do you guys prefer having gfs only or u prefer wife

[cppboost]

hi,
for u guys so u prefer having gfs all yr life or prefer to settle down with wife?

Why would you want to get married? If married already then why still end up divorce or quarrel every day?

[see see only]

Originally Posted by cppboost

hi,
for u guys so u prefer having gfs all yr life or prefer to settle down with wife?

To get married and reproduce is the duty of human beings

Why would you want to get married? If married already then why still end up divorce or quarrel every day?

Quarrel maturely today is to have Peace tomorrow

If you think it this way, you will understand why. Hope your question is answered.

[cppboost]

quoTE"To get married and reproduce is the duty of human beings"
Then how come many sg girls like not in hurry to get married?

Quarrel maturely today is to have Peace tomorrow
but mostly wifey scold husband because of petty things like dirtying the place and quarrel end up many times unresolved with both parties unhappy how is that mature or how to quarrel maturely.

[LCL7788]

Originally Posted by see see only

To get married and reproduce is the duty of human beings
If you think it this way, you will understand why. Hope your question is answered.

Can't believe this!?
Dont mind me but people are not livestock.
We are not farm animals that can be commanded to breed at the click of your fingers.
To have a fruitful, productive and happy life, as long as that isnt achieved by inconveniencing or hurting others, that should be a more moral, responsible and universal duty of all humans.
So people who do not get married and do not reproduce are not fulfilling some divinely commanded duty? Who decided all this rubbish? God? The Church? The PAP?
What's next? Gays ought to be stoned and people without children stripped of voting rights?
It's just a bit appalling that people can still think and talk like this today.

Originally Posted by see see only

Quarrel maturely today is to have Peace tomorrow
If you think it this way, you will understand why. Hope your question is answered.

Don't see your point at all.
What do you mean by a "mature quarrel"?
You can have a spate of very violent or volatile bust ups and still be alright in the long run. Or you can perpetually have very "mature" and civil disagreements about things and still see a marriage fail.
A does not predict B.
Relationships between people are not so simple.
People stick together for a variety of reasons. Sometimes wrong ones. You can be unhappily married quarreling everyday but still not divorce because of other factors.
It might be okay. Is repeated psychological abuse and a poor quality of domestic life okay? Is compromising your entire life for a misguided ideal okay?
Matrimony is not the be all and end all.
Some people prefer it. Others dont. There is nothing wrong with that.


I hope the Bro is just taking the piss and having some fun.
If so, sorry for overreacting.
Do hope that is the case.

[see see only]

did not know my post created so much comments

“To have a fruitful, productive and happy life, as long as that isn’t achieved by inconveniencing or hurting others, that should be a more moral, responsible and universal duty of all humans.
So people who do not get married and do not reproduce are not fulfilling some divinely commanded duty? Who decided all this rubbish? God? The Church? The PAP?”



Let me clarified, me does not come from any religious group – not Muslim not Christian nor any religion group that encourage reproduction.

Put it this way, in our new generation, we are emphasise on happy, fruitful, productive life for ourselves. We are taught in school to get our minimum 3 Cs – car, condo, career.

Think again who owns the school that taught us that in our young age? that this is happy and all should study hard to achieve 3Cs. Finally…….. who benefit most out of this thinking? - Our government (need not elaborate). BTW they did a good job nevertheless in making sillypore a fine country.

Let not talk about those that can’t reproduce in their whatever reasons. A human being is brought into this world by our parents (we do not come from rubbish bin ok – like what my dad always said), they showered us with love and give us whatever we wanted. Now, we are who we are now, making comments in SBF.

But have you wonder why they work so hard & have to suffer so much for us? They can simply say the same.

And if they think the same as what you have said, you won’t even have the chance to know what is computer, need not talk about making your comments above.

And let say all human think the same as you said, all governments in the world will have to clone people instead lor. If the male praying mantis think that they should enjoying themselves in the wild and not get killed by the female after having sex. We wouldnt even know that an insect - praying mantis exist in this world liao.

[see see only]

Don't see your point at all.
What do you mean by a "mature quarrel"?
You can have a spate of very violent or volatile bust ups and still be alright in the long run. Or you can perpetually have very "mature" and civil disagreements about things and still see a marriage fail.

So subjective . Anyway every possible things can happen in marriage but generally if there's a problem - talk it out, it may ended up quarrel but remember to quarrel until the root of the problem is solved (Easiler said then done but then still must try right ). btw:

Mature quarrel means sounding your unhappiness to your partner in a way to improve the situation, to try solve the problem before it slowballs into a bigger one.

We are taught by many, to say "never mind la, small problem only, no need to create an argument la" But a small problem, like not putting the the WC cover back after the husband had used the toilet was the reason for an divorce - remember this case?

"A small hole on the wall of a dam only la, no need to bother la" - but you should know what will happen to the dam eventually if no want bother to repair the small hole.

Ok a better example, a husband who always comes home late and the wife so nice - no complain. Becuase she thinks that marriage is about understanding and forgiving (importantly should not quarrel). Then as most human will "take 10 cents so easy, take 20 cents la and then so easy take 50 cents la"

Take until cannot tahan, she exploded then ask for divorce. WHY? why cant she bring up the issue earlier, scare quarrel with the husband??? If they will so called quarrel in the much earlier stage, believe the husband will somehow reduce the outing and make some effort to go home earlier.

Now the husband get used to late night, wife ask him to come back earlier. You tell me how to? Husband so used to it liao. Then your so-called "a spate of very violent or volatile bust ups" will occurred. Then they Quarrel until divorce lor.


OK BTW - I tried my best liao to put my comments into some lay-man language liao, if still got disagreement I no choice liao. Dont need to divorce SBF for what I commented above right???

[etct88]

Originally Posted by cppboost

hi,
for u guys so u prefer having gfs all yr life or prefer to settle down with wife?

Why would you want to get married? If married already then why still end up divorce or quarrel every day?

just curious, why you post this? did your's falls into this category, '.....Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.......'

how about your side of the story for the two bros to offer their expertise....

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by cppboost

hi,
for u guys so u prefer having gfs all yr life or prefer to settle down with wife?

When Single, we play hard and after few years we look forward to marriage.

(Optional) After married, after a 7-10years, we looking forward to having girlfriends

Why would you want to get married? If married already then why still end up divorce or quarrel every day?

Marriage is also work. When the work starts (emotional support - not talking financial) some men or women bail. Communication is often a BIG PROBLEM in troubled marriages.

At the end of day, everybody deserves to be HAPPY (single or married)
Whatever makes YOU HAPPY, go for it! (married or single). It's up to YOU , to make yourself happy.
IF your married, then you have someone to share it with.
IF you are single, find someone just to share it with.

p/s: I do not know you are a guy or girl. so don't be offended by the optional choice for men.

[HCKing]

Originally Posted by cppboost

hi,
for u guys so u prefer having gfs all yr life or prefer to settle down with wife?

Why would you want to get married? If married already then why still end up divorce or quarrel every day?

i guess what u r trying to ask is do you prefer to have commitment or non commitment relationship?

u can change many gfs all yr life but when u becomes poor and old who's there 4 u?

[Oralcraz]

Originally Posted by cppboost

hi,
for u guys so u prefer having gfs all yr life or prefer to settle down with wife?

Don't know why you asked but for me, I would prefer having gfs then being married.

[billgates]

GFs can have many and can change anytime.

Wife is an eternal trap... no exit clause unless u divorce her... which leaves u with a guilt conscience and damnation from friends n relatives. Not to mention u will be much poorer (separation agreements, divorce proceedings, half yr property gone etc).

Truth be told, men are not biologically made to be polygamous. In ancient days, only poor farmers and peasants have 1 wife. The rich aristocrats, royalty etc have wives, consorts, concubines etc. In a way, that culture exists today in China. Although illegal, most senior party officials in have mistresses.

PS: Kindly do not spam me, this is just my humble opinion. Some may disagree.

[LCL7788]

Originally Posted by see see only

Think again who owns the school that taught us that in our young age? that this is happy and all should study hard to achieve 3Cs. Finally…….. who benefit most out of this thinking? - Our government (need not elaborate). BTW they did a good job nevertheless in making sillypore a fine country.

Let not talk about those that can’t reproduce in their whatever reasons. A human being is brought into this world by our parents they showered us with love and give us whatever we wanted. But have you wonder why they work so hard & have to suffer so much for us? They can simply say the same.

Hi Bro,

No hard feelings hor.
If disagree disagree lor. I still cannot swallow some of your thoughts. But no big deal lah.

You seem to condense all that is meaningful in human life down to the fact that we can sexually reproduce. Our parents did it so we should too. Its the right order of nature. Cant disagree more.

Well you are right about this nanny government playing a big role in creating a culture of selfish materialism.
And that driven goal-oriented individuals serve the state's cause and are productive for society in many ways.
Yet the men in white also emphasize the role of the family at the same time. Asian values quality family and all that hypocritical propaganda.
Contradiction? Maybe but also not necessary. Emphasizing the role of the family also decreases the pressure on them in many ways.
With a family to tie you down you will think three times about rocking the boat or asking for perfectly reasonable things like political reform.
With a family to fall back on in theory you also wont be able to go to them asking for essential social welfare stuff that maybe they ought to provide.
Reproducing the family means reproducing the state.

Well Bro you might be lucky to have enjoyed a happy family life but not everyone is as lucky as you.
Why do people have children? I dont know. But it is stupid to assume that people do it for noble intentions and that they will always shower their offspring with love care & attention.
All parents work hard and suffer for their children? Like how LKY suffered for Singapore? A myth is a myth lah.
perhaps there are many touching family stories out there. But there are many tragedies as well.
I know many people from fucked up families whether the parents are divorced or not. Family life was never a bed of roses for them.
Should they hate their irresponsible parents? I dont know. But to expect them to be grateful to their parents is also a bit asking too much lah.
Well imagine if you were in their shoes in the past when they were facing abuse on a daily basis.
They might as well think: "Fuck lah, I NEVER asked or chose to be born. Why must I suffer just because my parents made a shitty decision to have me?"
But thats the truth. NONE of us chose to be born. We might be happy with existence. Or we might not. We couldn't help it anyway so why praise our parents like that?
They might have been great caregivers but it's their choice to start off so they ought to be responsible for it.
Sadly many are not.
Never mind. Now that we are here are we going to make the best of it or not? That's a more important question.
But think about it lah, its easy for us to idealize a certain narrow concept of the family when many Singaporeans have a reasonable standard of living.
look hard enough and there are still many poverty cases hidden out there even here.
Or take a short ferry ride to Riau and you'll see real poverty easily enough. And what about those poor children in Ethiopia, Somalia, India etc?
The planet is overcrowded enough.
Life isnt a Disney film. Its not always nice n warm for many human beings. Many people are born just to suffer. You think about it and you also wonder maybe if they knew they'd rather not be born?

I'm not sure but I think in the end you are talking about being positive, less self-centered and giving back to the human species, if not your parents or the state.
There are many other wonderful ways to do that, to touch lives and make a difference other than having children.
You could study insects and contribute to our understanding of life and the universe.
You could help build better computers and help cut the distance between people.
you could write an inspiring poem that touches hearts and reminds people just how beautiful life can be even when it is ugly as hell.
You could be a caring teacher that ends up being a bigger better difference on some pai kia neighborhood school basket case compared to his useless and irresponsible parents.
You could come in to SBF and stop some dimwit who is about to be conned of their $$$ by some whore from making a mistake.
All these things could be worth a lot more than having kids and then leaving a legacy of irresponsibility and neglect.

At the end of the day parenthood is just a choice. If you make that decision you jolly well better be responsible for it.
But others can choose not to as well. There is nothing wrong with it.
Thats all my two cents.

Originally Posted by see see only

Anyway every possible things can happen in marriage but generally if there's a problem - talk it out, it may ended up quarrel but remember to quarrel until the root of the problem is solved (Easiler said then done but then still must try right

We are taught by many, to say "never mind la, small problem only, no need to create an argument la" But a small problem, like not putting the the WC cover back after the husband had used the toilet was the reason for an divorce - remember this case?

I agree wholeheartedly with what you say about not letting resentment spiral out of control but in the end what if you talk it out repeatedly still cannot compromise or settle?

What if some people are just not meant to be together?

You seem to be making marriage into a universal ideal when it is clearly not. Or holding divorce up as a evil that should not be considered at all which is really not the case also.

Real life where got so easy one?
Diff people marry for diff reasons.
Some stumble into it because of shotgun n stuff and never really think. You expect all marriages to work and last but how is that possible?
I know plenty of people who are divorced and many others who have chosen to never tie the knot.
A marriage needs work. Some people cannot be bothered to put in the effort. Some people put in effort but maybe its just interpersonal chemistry plus changing circumstances.
If really cannot divorce lor no big deal.
I look at my divorced ex-couples friends and realise that its actually better for them to not be together. Communication and compromise are important but its not everything. Sometimes certain things are just not meant to be.
You can talk it out for as many times you want right from the start and be always civil about it but many times its just ultimately an issue of clashing lifestyles, temperaments and orientations.
You can change little habits abut you can't revamp yourself completely just for the sake of a marriage. What would the fucking point be?
And nobody's talking about spouse abuse or anything violent but other things that define who you are.

In this day and age, parenthood and marriage are just options. They might be a "normal" ideal for some people but not everybody.
And people who chose not to get married or have children shouldn't be stigmatized or treated like they have not fulfilled their "duties".
There are better ways to be better people than getting married, staying married and having children.

No big deal lah. We just disagree lor.

And ya maybe this thread belongs in the adult discussions section.

[alphonse]

Originally Posted by cppboost

hi,
for u guys so u prefer having gfs all yr life or prefer to settle down with wife?

Why would you want to get married? If married already then why still end up divorce or quarrel every day?

Ans: I would like to have a few gfs now then when I achieve my financial goals, I will settle down with a wife, start a family.

I've accepted that no one is perfect and there is always bound to be conflict and I will resolve it no matter what it takes because I've committed.

This is my answer to your question. All the answers are subjective.

Instead of going out to ask externally "how" and "why", try to look inwards and ask what does a gf, wife and marriage mean to you subjectively. What purpose do u think it serve for u.

When you understand urself, walk the path that u think and feel is right for u....not the paths that others chosen and "make sense"..

Be yourself.

[LCL7788]

Originally Posted by alphonse

Instead of going out to ask externally "how" and "why", try to look inwards and ask what does a gf, wife and marriage mean to you subjectively. What purpose do u think it serve for u.

When you understand urself, walk the path that u think and feel is right for u....not the paths that others chosen and "make sense"..

Very true. Spoken like a true blue Fullmetal Alchemist.



Nothing is free in this life. You want something? Make sure you know what it is you want and work towards it.
No relationship will work if you dont put in effort. And even if you do, it might still not. Thats life.

Anyway, Bro Alphonse is very right. This kind of things mean different things to different people.
Dont always listen to others, be it the gov, your best friend or a respected family elder.
We all come from diff circumstances so no one can help you be the real you.

Matrimony and Parenthood? These are all choices.
No one can help you make your choice. Nor is every choice always right or wrong. Not choosing can also be a perfectly moral choice and right.
To each his own because diff people have diff strokes. Live and let live.
What does it look like to you? That is the most important.
Live with and be responsible for what you decided on though.
There are some things that no amount of magic or alchemy can help put together. So just be realistic and accountable. To yourself at least.

[MLTR]

As for me, I would prefer to have gf(s) only at this moment because i'm enjoying my singlehood life now without having to worry about family committments. If u find ur gf is really not compatible with u in terms of character after a period of time, u can just simply breakup with her but as for wife u will have to go thru the divorce proceedings and will end up wasting alot of time and money (wedding dinner, photoshoots, lawyer's fee, etc). Somemore i have so many guy friends who are either divorced or separated with their wife.

Most importantly, i have yet to find my dream girl who will make me give up everything just for her at the moment. No point finding someone whom i 'like' and not 'love' and just get married because of age issue(30+) or pressure from parents.