My little relationship problem

SammyNewbie · #1 17-01-2013, 11:53 PM

Well, my problem is not being KC'ed by a WL/FL, so it's rather small.

I like a girl. I'd say it's a crush. Something about her makes me sexually attracted to her, but she's definitely not my type in physical appearance. I also like that she can take some of my very naughty jokes, well not all, some.

I'm trying to just be friends and make her laugh, and sometimes just making an extra effort to talk to her. Here's the problem:

-I've NEVER had a girlfriend before. Due to the background I was brought up with, and several unfortunate incidents in secondary school and poly, my interaction with gals is rather limited. I would say I never really had any female friends even. That makes me bad at dealing with them because I just am used to saying what's on my mind with guy friends all the time (mostly anyway).

- I got rejected by all the gals I tried to pursue. It kinda made me lose confidence and the more times I got rejected, the more afraid I became to just talk to/interact with women.

-Because of this, I feel I might be trying too hard to make a good impression and overthinking things, making me nervous and awkward around her. It always starts fine when I don't think of anything sexual, but suddenly when I see a gal as a potential, it gets bad.

- I think she has a boyfriend, though she's been denying it.

I think rather than playing a guitar and learning 'Falling for you' having to type this with one and a half hands, I should be fixing some of my character flaws which might be why every girl has been rejecting me up til now.

I know I have to be more confident and sure of myself, and maybe learn abit of social grace and censorship, but what are the specifics of this sort of thing?

I've been trying to be confident and to just talk to women I normally whether I'm just ordering a drink from the coffee shop or whatever. The problem is, I think I am still afraid. I don't know why I feel alright sometimes, and sometimes I just get scared for no reason.

What should I do?

Odin00 · #2 18-01-2013, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SammyNewbie

Well, my problem is not being KC'ed by a WL/FL, so it's rather small.

I like a girl. I'd say it's a crush. Something about her makes me sexually attracted to her, but she's definitely not my type in physical appearance. I also like that she can take some of my very naughty jokes, well not all, some.

I'm trying to just be friends and make her laugh, and sometimes just making an extra effort to talk to her. Here's the problem:

-I've NEVER had a girlfriend before. Due to the background I was brought up with, and several unfortunate incidents in secondary school and poly, my interaction with gals is rather limited. I would say I never really had any female friends even. That makes me bad at dealing with them because I just am used to saying what's on my mind with guy friends all the time (mostly anyway).

- I got rejected by all the gals I tried to pursue. It kinda made me lose confidence and the more times I got rejected, the more afraid I became to just talk to/interact with women.

-Because of this, I feel I might be trying too hard to make a good impression and overthinking things, making me nervous and awkward around her. It always starts fine when I don't think of anything sexual, but suddenly when I see a gal as a potential, it gets bad.

- I think she has a boyfriend, though she's been denying it.

I think rather than playing a guitar and learning 'Falling for you' having to type this with one and a half hands, I should be fixing some of my character flaws which might be why every girl has been rejecting me up til now.

I know I have to be more confident and sure of myself, and maybe learn abit of social grace and censorship, but what are the specifics of this sort of thing?

I've been trying to be confident and to just talk to women I normally whether I'm just ordering a drink from the coffee shop or whatever. The problem is, I think I am still afraid. I don't know why I feel alright sometimes, and sometimes I just get scared for no reason.

What should I do?

Dude, if you tell her you are gay, she might invite you for sleepovers and help her go lingiere shopping.

SammyNewbie · #3 18-01-2013, 01:19 AM

Not going to work, as much as I gave it some thought despite this probably being a dig at me for some laughter at my expense.

How'd you know anyway? You tried it on a girl before?

Tai_zi21 · #4 18-01-2013, 01:36 AM

To me there are 3 thing a guy need to woo a gal

1)sweet talk
2)know how to make her laugh and make her feel comfortable with u
3)Cash and if a car help even more

If you dun feel confident abt urself, how can you let the other party feel confident abt u?

Of cos this are my own point of view only

Cheers

SammyNewbie · #5 18-01-2013, 08:51 AM

I can do 1... hehe I've stroked her ego a few times.

I can do 2 ... but it gets to a point where I sort of start getting worried that I will blow it up, then when I suspect she had a boyfriend, I got sort of clammy after that.

I think you're right about the confidence thing as much as it hurts to hear it, but I'm not sure how to 'increase my confidence' so to speak. People have told me 'drink beer and just do it!' and I'm a quiet drunk >.<".

Meow^^ · #6 18-01-2013, 10:08 AM

Confident does not just grow by itself, you got to learn it and thru learning you will get your experince and that's where your confidence level are build up.

The problem like what you had mentioned, due to your history back ground that's why you have problem communicating with ladies. But you have to learn through communicating more. Don't scare of failure, i mean, who doesn't fail before in this department? Even a casanova, they do fail and maybe failed badly in this department before becoming a great communicator with opposit sex.

In the end, you never do, you will never learn, you never ask, you will never get.

netuser · #7 18-01-2013, 07:25 PM

Bro,

Bite the bullet and go with the flow. If she has a boyfriend, treat and respect her like a friend. Didn't you mention that you do not have much girlfriends? This will be a good time to get to know her and her friends if possible.

Enjoy the company and friendship instead!

Not every relationship between you and a gal must end up in BGR.

All the best!

Quote:

Originally Posted by SammyNewbie

I can do 1... hehe I've stroked her ego a few times.

I can do 2 ... but it gets to a point where I sort of start getting worried that I will blow it up, then when I suspect she had a boyfriend, I got sort of clammy after that.

I think you're right about the confidence thing as much as it hurts to hear it, but I'm not sure how to 'increase my confidence' so to speak. People have told me 'drink beer and just do it!' and I'm a quiet drunk >.<".

Odin00 · #8 19-01-2013, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SammyNewbie

Not going to work, as much as I gave it some thought despite this probably being a dig at me for some laughter at my expense.

How'd you know anyway? You tried it on a girl before?

Dude, seriously, do you know how many guys in the gym are gay?

JacqueMerlin · #9 19-01-2013, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SammyNewbie

Well, my problem is not being KC'ed by a WL/FL, so it's rather small.

I like a girl. I'd say it's a crush. Something about her makes me sexually attracted to her, but she's definitely not my type in physical appearance. I also like that she can take some of my very naughty jokes, well not all, some.

I'm trying to just be friends and make her laugh, and sometimes just making an extra effort to talk to her. Here's the problem:

-I've NEVER had a girlfriend before. Due to the background I was brought up with, and several unfortunate incidents in secondary school and poly, my interaction with gals is rather limited. I would say I never really had any female friends even. That makes me bad at dealing with them because I just am used to saying what's on my mind with guy friends all the time (mostly anyway).

- I got rejected by all the gals I tried to pursue. It kinda made me lose confidence and the more times I got rejected, the more afraid I became to just talk to/interact with women.

-Because of this, I feel I might be trying too hard to make a good impression and overthinking things, making me nervous and awkward around her. It always starts fine when I don't think of anything sexual, but suddenly when I see a gal as a potential, it gets bad.

- I think she has a boyfriend, though she's been denying it.

I think rather than playing a guitar and learning 'Falling for you' having to type this with one and a half hands, I should be fixing some of my character flaws which might be why every girl has been rejecting me up til now.

I know I have to be more confident and sure of myself, and maybe learn abit of social grace and censorship, but what are the specifics of this sort of thing?

I've been trying to be confident and to just talk to women I normally whether I'm just ordering a drink from the coffee shop or whatever. The problem is, I think I am still afraid. I don't know why I feel alright sometimes, and sometimes I just get scared for no reason.

What should I do?

Concentrate on your career, get more money, buy a continental sports car, buy a property, a small condo will suffice, then you will start posting about getting into a dilemma over which girl to choose.

MonteCristo · #10 19-01-2013, 01:08 AM

Sorry, poor reader here; don't understand your problem. You are trying to woo the lady? Or is this about finding the reason why you are not successful in such endeavors?

SammyNewbie · #11 19-01-2013, 11:38 AM

@MonteCristo:I want to woo the lady but I'm sort of clueless to how to do it.

@netuser: I want to also, but I'm not handling the feelings and sexual attraction I feel for her very well.

@JacqueMerlin: You are right. However, I'm not an ambitious person. I want to become good at what I do because I love it(although it's become love/hate now), but I think that as long as I make enough to get by, that's enough. Perhaps that's the problem.

A little update on what happened yesterday. Well, I was kinda tense as usual then suddenly I just relaxed and did a funny thing, and then we were talking and smiling, and suddenly we looked at each other with a grin, and she suddenly moved away from me. What's that supposed to mean ? I have a few permutations of what it could be, but I am not sure.

netuser · #12 19-01-2013, 03:24 PM

Hi Bro,

Then I believe it's about time to learn how to demarcate these issues. Otherwise, it is going to be difficult for you to handle any of your future relationships.

As for her body languages, you might have to experience more with her to decipher them.

Cheerios!

Quote:

Originally Posted by SammyNewbie

@netuser: I want to also, but I'm not handling the feelings and sexual attraction I feel for her very well.

A little update on what happened yesterday. Well, I was kinda tense as usual then suddenly I just relaxed and did a funny thing, and then we were talking and smiling, and suddenly we looked at each other with a grin, and she suddenly moved away from me. What's that supposed to mean ? I have a few permutations of what it could be, but I am not sure.

Odin00 · #13 19-01-2013, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SammyNewbie

@MonteCristo:I want to woo the lady but I'm sort of clueless to how to do it.

@netuser: I want to also, but I'm not handling the feelings and sexual attraction I feel for her very well.

@JacqueMerlin: You are right. However, I'm not an ambitious person. I want to become good at what I do because I love it(although it's become love/hate now), but I think that as long as I make enough to get by, that's enough. Perhaps that's the problem.

A little update on what happened yesterday. Well, I was kinda tense as usual then suddenly I just relaxed and did a funny thing, and then we were talking and smiling, and suddenly we looked at each other with a grin, and she suddenly moved away from me. What's that supposed to mean ? I have a few permutations of what it could be, but I am not sure.

Maybe you smell too manly for her, dude

SammyNewbie · #14 19-01-2013, 08:51 PM

Odin ar odin,

I thought you only frequented the 'Looking for free fuck' section. You come here and chak for what sia? You need me to bring you back there cause u are lost?

Anyway, got cute SYT in my new module. But I tell you all something funny. This crush can make me Mari Kita from thinking about her, then the chioer gal cannot XD.

I think this might be over soon... one way or another...