The Departure of my ex...

[Rangers]

last week was my gf death anniversary... As usual i brought her favourite
roses and visit her... Looking at her photo, i used a cloth and cleaned her
tombstone... Though she is away for quite some time now.. my heart still
longed for her.. Quitely, i spent some moments with her and i feel peace within my heart... Time passed quickily and i finally left the place after a
whole afternoon with her...

While on the way home.. my mobile rang...

Gf sister: Kor where r u?.. r u at jie place?..
Me: Yup, i just left the place.. now on the way hm...
Gf sister: I knew that u will surely visit her today... kor can u accompany me
to the ktv pub tonite, the pub where jie love to go with u?...
Me: Y the sudden idea to go the pub?..
Gf sister: aiya dun ask so much.. coming or nt?..
Me: K.. c u then..

[Rangers]

I then went home to prepare the work for 2mr... and proceed to the pub
after i have done my stuff... mobile rang again...

Gf sister: Kor have u reached?.. i am here for quite some time le...
Me: reaching... wru?..
Gf sister: i come out to wait for you at the 711 there..
Me: K.. dun drink so much...

Finally i met up with her.. As usual she is very chatty and jio me to drink with her... i obliged and she know that i am not a very gd drinker... after a few glasses of chivas... she started to ask me a few questions which i usually dun ans as it will trigger off the memories of my gf again..

Gf sister: Kor.. u have not got over jie yet.. rite?..
Me: dun think so...
Gf sister: that explains y u never have a gf since jie has passed away..
Me: Mei... she is the only woman whom i love in my entire life...
Gf sister: How i envy her...

We paused for the moment.. and she continued with the drinking and singing sessions... somehow i can sensed that she is troubled but i did not ask her y...

[Rangers]

That nite.. i sent her home as she was really tipsy...

Me: Mei.. kor sent u home k...
Gf sister: Dun want as i will be alone at hm... dad and mum have went to
Malaysia..
Me: u have to go hm but kor will accompany u home..
Gf sister: k...

It has been ages since i go to her place.. the last time when i went there is my gf has just pass away and i went there to pack her stuff... laying the sister carefully on the bed.. i proceed to soak a warm towel on her forehead..
She has drank almost a bottle of chivas... The family photo at her bedside caught my attention with my gf standing beside her... When the photo was taken... she was still very healthy and cheerful.. who would know.. at the pt of time... my tears start to flow endlessly... I never knew that i am so emotionally weak.. Suddenly.. i feel a hug from my back... i was shocked as it is my gf sister who hugged me...

Gf sister: Kor i love u.. dun leave me...
Me: dun be silly... my heart cant contain anyone else but your sis...
Gf sister: i dun mind you taking me for her..
Me: that wont do...

Quckily i left the house and shut off my hp as i want to avoid her calls..

[SneakyBastard]

Bro Ranger, your sensitivity makes you really attractive to the chick lah...

I have to say my deepest condolences for your loss. I cannot imagine what it feels like but I don't think it's something I can handle as well as you seem to have done...

On the other hand, it's been at least a year, and you were asking around for a FB...

[Rangers]

The thought of FB does not exist for that long.. cos emotionally.. i still feel for my gf... that is y though i have my needs as a man... i managed to curb it well... She has taken away everthing of mine ever since she is gone..

[kurosaki ichigo]

You need to learn to look forward.

She's gone from this world and you wallowing in this state is not going to change anything. Its not like she's still around where you can do something about it.

Don't torture yourself any further. Don't keep repeating that she has taken away everything from you because no one can take away anything from you unless you choose to not have it. The way I see it is you choose to not open your door.

[Souledge]

Bro take care...

You should or have to let go . . . understand it is hard but you have to let go in order to move ahead. . .

Look at it this way, though I do not know how old you are. . But could you understand how your parents would feel?

I mean they might be longing for a grand children (from you), and your parents might be old as well.

It is right of you to feel upset and etc. but sometimes you have to be a bit more empathic towards your parents

This is not to flame or scold you, just letting you see things from another angle. so that we would not live with any other regrets

cheers

[DO_YOU_BJ]

When someone crosses over, for watever reason, wish the person a good trip to another world, where one is suppose to find eternal peace or punishment of what they did in the mortal.
Yes, we miss their PHYSICAL existence, but we shouldnt yearn for them too much.
Cos, this will make their transition very difficult and also, a possibility of an attachment that makes them not wanna cross over cos of your not letting go.

Wish her well, keep her memories and all but dun try to re-live any of it.
I understand your pain bro, do the rite thing!

[kurosaki ichigo]

Sad to say doing the right thing is very difficult at times. This is the fallacy of being a human

[hornyness]

looking are ur experience...haiz...really sad......1mth ago i broke up wif my most luved....i hurt her too much haiz...really regret...took her for granted...always hot tempered and say nasty things to her rashly...finally she left me....haiz....i dunnoe hw to pass life now...it had been 2 mths....everydae passes like years....i can only contact her on9....i really luv her....i have done wrong things...but my heart is always true for her...haiz

[eXia-san]

TS,ur story is very touching+sadness and sorrow... Is good to be strong heart to move on... Do whatever u decide about, satisfy about and mostly you want about it... I will always support n respect ur choice!! But is good to move on and left the sadness and sorrow away from u... "Life is like a box of chocolate"by forest gump mom... XD let it move on man!! Cheer up

[eXia-san]

TS,is great to share ur feeling out... Im impress about ur story and feel so sry about u... But u must moved on what ever it takes... N is the matter of times,try to let go the old 1 n go for the new 1... I will respect ur decision... B strong bro!!!

[Sexinthecity]

Take care Bro Rangers..

Hope you will find a balance in life soon..

[bigleong]

U know, there are so much great stories that accompanied me along my time in SBF.

But Ranger Bro,

For what you had related to us via this thread, u have really touch the deep end of my soul, triggering the tears and the most inate feelings. I feel for you and im sure most if not all the Bros here does.

Cant offer you much advise but like most Bros here told you, Set aside a special spot in your heart for her. A spot that would never be intruded and trespass. By anyone at all.

May the Lord be with you, giving you endless blessing in your life further on.

May He who stand above us, shine upon ur ex in heaven.

[Guard|anAnge|]

Hang in there bro....

Forget all the cliche sayings of time healing all wounds.... the wounds may ebb away but they will always be there. The hardest emotions to deal with are the regrets that you could maybe have done more and the guilt that you have outlived the one you love most.

Perhaps one day, you'll find another soulmate.... maybe it will happen, maybe it won't.... but as you said, life goes on and we move on.

However, although it's wasy to believe that you are living alone in your pain and misery, remember that there are people all around you who also care and love you.... please don't shut them out assuming that they don't understand. Let them be there for you. Youa re human too... you need friends more so now then ever before.

Take care bro.