Wife & Sex - going through the motion

[raistlin]

She's a homemaker... I'm the one fighting the war outside and I help out with the chores at home. Who should be more tired?

The number of times I had sex with her for the last 2 years is still in single digit!

What supplements do you recommend? Spanish fly?

[queeniegal]

Haha... Home- maker is also very tiring de!!! Don't underestimate them. To be frank is not easy!
Will be bored till max... Everyday wake up
Go marketing, do housework, wash clothes. If got kids need to cook for them to eat.. Fetch them from sch.. Cook dinner for you.

And is repeating the same whole things every single day!!! Thinking what to cook for you. Teach the kids..

Supplement for bed har ehh I must check idk hv such ornot! But to cure tiredness I hv many type

[queeniegal]

Ops sorry u still help out! Too slpy le haha..

Hmmm sigh ur wife good life la ha.. I also must find such hubby! Let me stay at home rot but help me do housework!

Lol in my dream..

[bernardlee]

Finally, got the courage to carry out plans of Wizrd. Got not many choice left. I am not happy to live like a monk for the rest of my life. Ran through the plans and dialogues in my brain for many times before the show down. It must look like a serious husband and wife talk.

1) Made it very clear that sex is a need of a man. Ok she understands.
2) Then she started to complain. The so called bad events happened 7 years ago. I patiently listen to all her complains, until 10pm. Then she said tired need to sleep...

Ok loh, I will continue with plan b tomorrow. Now I find it so little time to have quality chats with her.

But overall, here are the take aways:
1) In laws cause problem. She hates my father, mother and relatives.
For new couples, better stay away from mummy and daddy, and maintains minimal interaction between wife and my own side of family. She feel stressed when she meets my parents.

2) try not to quarrel over matter of raising kid. there are always some disagreements how we want to bring up our kid

3) please remember to shower her with Love even after marriage and got kid. They need love and attention.

4) also must demonstrate your love to her always. Asian husband may be weaker in this area and especially we are busy with work everyday. Must create romantic atmosphere before can make love.

There you go. Hope it helps.

[queeniegal]

Bernard:- so it works???? Lol

[bernardlee]

Still early to tell.

Need someone to give ideas how to increase the romance factor. Not easy with the kid running around. This is not the same as the dating before marriage.

I admit that i have not done enough of the romance portion after marriage/kid. Busy with work commitment. She is also busy with her stressful work.

Another important point to add.

Never go to sleep immediately after sex. This a real turn off for the wife. She will feel that she is being used as a sex tool.

Next women has an elephant memory. Be very careful of not hurting them in anyway. They will remember all the bad things you have done. During serious quarrel, they will pour out all the bad events. You sure lose to them one...

[queeniegal]

Wei! Guys also hor don't say only gals!
My ex Bf he can remember small little things like which date, day I my Hp rang in cinema that make him fucking pissed off. Etc and all small little things he not happy with will tell me off and repeat again! Wah jialat ha n if argument all also come out!!

Nowadays guys behave like gal lor!

Bring yr kids to in law or mother place! Book a fine dinning dinner (: follow by a nice drinking place.. N stroll to a stay cation (;

I can tell u where haha I did that for my Bf before but minus off the stay cation! (my ex Bf not romantic at all so I must help myself with it haha)

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by bernardlee

Still early to tell.

Need someone to give ideas how to increase the romance factor. Not easy with the kid running around. This is not the same as the dating before marriage.

I admit that i have not done enough of the romance portion after marriage/kid. Busy with work commitment. She is also busy with her stressful work.

Another important point to add.

Never go to sleep immediately after sex. This a real turn off for the wife. She will feel that she is being used as a sex tool.

Next women has an elephant memory. Be very careful of not hurting them in anyway. They will remember all the bad things you have done. During serious quarrel, they will pour out all the bad events. You sure lose to them one...

I strongly agrees to your predicament, same here, gif love , gif money but no sex as and when needed. PCC is usually the fastest solution. Wives always win in quarrels even when they are in the wrong. Just pray that end of the day, your bird is still on your body, in the right place.

GOD bless us husbands.

[5ag1_Boar]

Originally Posted by bernardlee

Finally, got the courage to carry out plans of Wizrd. Got not many choice left. I am not happy to live like a monk for the rest of my life. Ran through the plans and dialogues in my brain for many times before the show down. It must look like a serious husband and wife talk.

1) Made it very clear that sex is a need of a man. Ok she understands.
2) Then she started to complain. The so called bad events happened 7 years ago. I patiently listen to all her complains, until 10pm. Then she said tired need to sleep...

Ok loh, I will continue with plan b tomorrow. Now I find it so little time to have quality chats with her.

But overall, here are the take aways:
1) In laws cause problem. She hates my father, mother and relatives.
For new couples, better stay away from mummy and daddy, and maintains minimal interaction between wife and my own side of family. She feel stressed when she meets my parents.

2) try not to quarrel over matter of raising kid. there are always some disagreements how we want to bring up our kid

3) please remember to shower her with Love even after marriage and got kid. They need love and attention.

4) also must demonstrate your love to her always. Asian husband may be weaker in this area and especially we are busy with work everyday. Must create romantic atmosphere before can make love.

There you go. Hope it helps.

I'm glad to see you took the leap.

I just had dinner with a buddy recently. The last time I met him, probably a year or more ago, he was having daily quarrels with his wife. So, I asked about it and he said it is now much better. I asked what happened? He said he stopped going to MIL's house. MIL looks after his kids, so Mon to Fri, both he and wife would go there after work to have dinner and bring the kids home. The problem is the MIL does not like him and always pick on him. This causes stress for his wife being sandwich between them, resulting in her also quarrelling with him. One day, he got so fed up that he refused go MIL house. He will pick wife and kids when they are ready to go home. At first wife not happy, but after some weeks, they both realised that they stopped the frequent quarrels. So, the decision was made that it will remain like this and their relationship has been much better.

Just want to share that in laws can really cause a wedge between husband and wife. How it should be handle is case to case. My friend's case quite drastic solution.

[5ag1_Boar]

Originally Posted by bernardlee

Still early to tell.

Need someone to give ideas how to increase the romance factor. Not easy with the kid running around. This is not the same as the dating before marriage.

I admit that i have not done enough of the romance portion after marriage/kid. Busy with work commitment. She is also busy with her stressful work.

Another important point to add.

Never go to sleep immediately after sex. This a real turn off for the wife. She will feel that she is being used as a sex tool.

Next women has an elephant memory. Be very careful of not hurting them in anyway. They will remember all the bad things you have done. During serious quarrel, they will pour out all the bad events. You sure lose to them one...

Actually, between a couple, past issues should never be brought up again, especially as "ammunition" in a new quarrel. Does not matter whether man or woman, if it keeps coming up, then it means it was not resolved and it is still festering in their heart and mind. So you need find out what is the root cause and resolve it. It can be as simple as listening to her about it, seeing it from her perspective and acknowledging it, instead of "why are you bringing that up again? That was 7 years ago!" or pushing it aside. Apologise if necessary. Sometimes some small thing to us, may have a larger meaning to others.

Couples with kids should set up a weekly date night/day, but must make sure it is quality husband/wife time. I had date nights with my ex when we were married, usually to catch a movie. Unfortunately, usually by the time she finished fussing over our kid and we left home, we have just enough time to get to the cinema on time. As it is usually a 8+/9pm movie, by the time the movie ends, too tired, so go home and sleep. Don't say no ML, talk also don't have time. With 20/20 hindsight, it would have been much better if we had gone to a cafe/pub/bar to chill or gone for a walk at the beach, then we would have time to talk and re-connect after a busy week. Not to mention, alcohol would have helped to loosen her inhibitions, or if not, at least give a happy buzz. Danger point: sometimes alcohol unleash repressed negative feelings (not necessarily about you).

If time permits, cuddle and talk in bed before sleeping... how was your day? Etc. If she complains about work or something, sayang her. The danger here is falling asleep while she is talking.

You mentioned in an earlier post that she looks good. Have you told her that?You also mentioned that she maintains herself. Even if you think its not for your benefit, you should compliment her. And you have to balance between making her feel sexy, and coming across as sex-deprived. Tell her things like "I like what you're wearing today" "I always like you in this blouse" "This shoe really looks good on you" "Wee-wheet, darling looks hot today". Or say to your kid(s), "don't you think mummy looks pretty today?" Make it a point to find something to compliment her at least once every few days. But make sure you mean it, don't bullshit her.

Let her catch you admiring her... start with "innocent" stuff like staring at her face when she is talking to your kids,eating or something. When she looks up and catches you staring and ask what you're looking at, just reply you're admiring your beautiful wife. Later,when she is more used to you complimenting her, you can add in more sensual stuff like let her catch you admiring her butt, legs or even cleavage (if she is wearing something low cut). For butts and legs, you can reply that you are checking out her sexy butt or legs. But for cleavage, just wink and give her a cheeky smile.

I am glad that you are being proactive. I think you also realise that it will take time to rebuild the loving feeling.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by bernardlee

Finally, got the courage to carry out plans of Wizrd. Got not many choice left. I am not happy to live like a monk for the rest of my life. Ran through the plans and dialogues in my brain for many times before the show down. It must look like a serious husband and wife talk.

1) Made it very clear that sex is a need of a man. Ok she understands.
2) Then she started to complain. The so called bad events happened 7 years ago. I patiently listen to all her complains, until 10pm. Then she said tired need to sleep...

Ok loh, I will continue with plan b tomorrow. Now I find it so little time to have quality chats with her.

But overall, here are the take aways:
1) In laws cause problem. She hates my father, mother and relatives.
For new couples, better stay away from mummy and daddy, and maintains minimal interaction between wife and my own side of family. She feel stressed when she meets my parents.

2) try not to quarrel over matter of raising kid. there are always some disagreements how we want to bring up our kid

3) please remember to shower her with Love even after marriage and got kid. They need love and attention.

4) also must demonstrate your love to her always. Asian husband may be weaker in this area and especially we are busy with work everyday. Must create romantic atmosphere before can make love.

There you go. Hope it helps.

Excellent bro..good on you for taking the next step...BUT...

You allowed her to turn the tables on you...yes, of course she will have complaints...we expected that...but the bottom line is this...

Yes, you should create more romantic enviuronment for her and all that...but did you get any hint on whether sex is on the table at all?

Please do not let her make you end up being the guilty one...we are all guilty of one thing or another in any relationship...but as a couple, if she never mentioned all these to you in so many years, I am kinda wondering if they are really the reasons or just excuses.

It is seldom just one party at fault for any relationship breakdown, so don't accept that is it all your (and your family's) fault...

Sorry bro, I don't mean to second guess what she is feeling or saying...just make sure she is trying to resolve the issue instead of feeding you with excuses, make you damn guilty and hopefully never bring up the issue again...


Anyway, very proud of you bro...jia you!!


.

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by queeniegal

Sigh.. Marriage life are so complex... I think my life now are much simpler ha...

Originally Posted by queeniegal

Ha.. I dun see myself settling down. Even tho I wished but I feel my expectation for friends are high. Bf will be higher maybe but dun think so ha cause usually I'm the one get hurt badly

In order to stay single n independent forever I need to network! This is life! Single also woes married also... Life...

Originally Posted by Wizrd

Yes...especially as a single woman in Sg...

Do whatever you want...whenever you want...

You make a listing for a FB and thousands of young studs will apply and send you photos + measurements +++ for your selection...

What for get married?? Day worry not giving him enough...night worry he doesn't give you...weekdays worry about the future with him...weekends worry about the future without him...too much trouble...

Single all the way...

Yes, STAYING SINGLE is still a good option like wat the bro n sis hv said so succinctly above.. compared to the problems n stresses tat one is faced wif in married life as shared by so many bros here wif their wifeys...being spurned, disregarded n disrespected by them...sigh ...There are many advantages if one is single...he/she can hv TOTAL FREEDOM n time to do all the things he/she likes w/o being restricted by anything or anyone...tink most of us enjoy n value freedom more than being tied down n tats why we all get angry so easily when we find ourselves losing tat freedom. We dun like to hv to REPORT to someone else if we can help it.. So being single means u can go out anywhere n wif anybody u feel like it, w/o having to REPORT n justify to ur spouse or for tat matter to any1 else..its like u r a bird tat spreads its wings like eagles soaring very high into the sky ! ..wow !..wat a high-in-the sky feeling tat must be !!

[smay]

Hearing so much from all of you, is this the reason your wife don't want to make love with you:

"If you gave your girl a foreplay orgasm and are able to give her penetration orgasms she is going to want you to keep going. It is very simple, when it feels good she wants more. (When it’s the best of her life, she can’t get enough of it.) If you can’t last long enough to give her a penetration orgasms (usually AT LEAST 10 minutes) then she is going to become frustrated and start making up excuses for not having sex." - 2 Girls Teach Sex

I would like to share what I have read from the report.

[Jjling]

Jus wanna to ask u guys

Really will be sian of fuck a same gal every time mehz?

Den have u all think b4 that we will Oso get sianz by fucked by the same guy?

That the reason y there is so many fb ard? Lol

[FRwriter]

Guys, I don't know am I lucky or what..

My wife like more "gian" than me into having sex. I'm 31 and she's 34 this yr. In a week, we have sex about 7-10 times. Be it a quickie or a long sex session.

But last month, the gynae diagnosed my wife as infertile. I did some research that women who are "infertile" tend not to be so sexually active.

Some times while watching tv, I will be hugging her while we watch. She can suddenly touch my dick tickle it and it hardens. Next thing she will say she want to have sex.
At times, in the morning when she have no meetings, she will put her hands into my shorts and see if my dick harden, if yes, she will strip naked and expect me to give her a shot.

Ok lah, at times I want to do she also allow. Got a few times when she was washing the dishes, I from behind huged her and my hands unbutton her hot pants and touched her. She will stop her washing and let me do it with her.

Btw, we stay alone.