Fucking rival

[gotnotime]

Originally Posted by BMW69

This is a great update. Personal, innovative. Good!

Thanks bro! Didn't have time to complete the second half of the chapter coz I gotnotime lol..
Time for you to update too huh!

[BMW69]

Originally Posted by gotnotime

Thanks bro! Didn't have time to complete the second half of the chapter coz I gotnotime lol..
Time for you to update too huh!

Haha I updated

[gotnotime]

Originally Posted by BMW69

Haha I updated

Just read it too, it sure is an interesting chapter than the usual love making sessions

[BMW69]

Originally Posted by gotnotime

Just read it too, it sure is an interesting chapter than the usual love making sessions

Well. I'll soon have to type chapters on my phone haha. My Sony laptop died on me earlier this week. I only have up to chapter 45 in my phone.

[gotnotime]

Originally Posted by BMW69

Well. I'll soon have to type chapters on my phone haha. My Sony laptop died on me earlier this week. I only have up to chapter 45 in my phone.

Ahh I gave up typing it in a word document first and instead, just typing whatever comes to mind, and editing it to perfection from there

[BMW69]

Originally Posted by gotnotime

Ahh I gave up typing it in a word document first and instead, just typing whatever comes to mind, and editing it to perfection from there

Hmmm hahaha I'm too much of a perfectionist when it comes to my stories so that's a no go for me ><

[gotnotime]

Author's notes: Please let me know how I can improve. It feels as though something's missing from this story, especially when inspiration girl is gone..

Val: Sediiiiiiia!
She said as she begun to grab my shaft.

As though responding to her command, little willie rose to the occasion, complete with precum at the opening. Slowly and awkward, she begun to stroke it, gaping at it's hardness and length.

I also began running my hands along her chest to her naval, and then to the inside of her thighs, as I saw her chest heave, and breathe heavily. I was succeeding in my plan in getting her turned on, as I saw her glistering nectar leak from her lovehole.

I lapped it up hungrily, from licking her sensitive erected nips down to her lower lips, which drew massive moans from her, as she got wetter. Being a first-timer without guidance except for porn videos, I licked her lovehole, which tasted surprisingly good!

[SammyNewbie]

I think you're doing well.

Quality of writing tends to wax and wane depending on both the mood and muse of the writer at that point. Don't let it get to you too much ^_^.

[gotnotime]

Originally Posted by SammyNewbie

I think you're doing well.

Quality of writing tends to wax and wane depending on both the mood and muse of the writer at that point. Don't let it get to you too much ^_^.

Well.. with inspiration girl gone, I can safely say that I'm relying on my fertile imagination for now lol. It feels strangely empty.

[BMW69]

The emotions bro. That's what's missing where is the love? Write about your dates too. Not just the sex

[gotnotime]

Originally Posted by BMW69

The emotions bro. That's what's missing where is the love? Write about your dates too. Not just the sex

Yeah I guess so, I can take a leaf from your story
On the other hand, there used to be this lady in my life who inspired me, and wrote love and lust for.
Now that she's gone.. I feel empty as a person too.
I should write more about the stuff that they do I guess.
Dates, just hanging out doing nothing. Sweet things like celebration of one year anniversary, etc.

[BMW69]

Originally Posted by gotnotime

Yeah I guess so, I can take a leaf from your story
On the other hand, there used to be this lady in my life who inspired me, and wrote love and lust for.
Now that she's gone.. I feel empty as a person too.
I should write more about the stuff that they do I guess.
Dates, just hanging out doing nothing. Sweet things like celebration of one year anniversary, etc.

Yes you got it 100% right. The inspiration for my story is gone too. Gone before I started writing haha. But as I'm ushering in the new one, I inadvertently lose inspiration to write about an old one. Everything seems so boring when I compare it to my next gf

[SammyNewbie]

I like to fall back on real live events to do that, relying on my linguistical flair and descriptive technique to do it when the wind does not blow.

I think it lacks... that urgency and horniness you normally have when you are having sex. Try to think back about what sort of urgent sex you were fantasizing about while you DIY or get it on.

What unusual places did you think of doing it on at home. On a desk? On the couch? In the shower? Where were you doing it in your fantasies? Think about those and describe the urgent feelings.

Also, not enough details. Is she already naked? Are u so horny that u slipped your hands up her shirt already but haven't removed it? Have you pulled it off? What's she wearing? A skirt? Shorts? What about what's underneath? Is it gone already?

Where's she sitting? Beside you? On top of you? Are you leaning towards her now and pushing her halfway down to a missionary position?

[gotnotime]

Originally Posted by BMW69

Yes you got it 100% right. The inspiration for my story is gone too. Gone before I started writing haha. But as I'm ushering in the new one, I inadvertently lose inspiration to write about an old one. Everything seems so boring when I compare it to my next gf

Indeed, except that you have a next gf. She was never mine to begin with..
If she's reading this story right now, I want her to know that I'm sorry, and I want to make up for everything that I did wrong. I let go of my feelings for her, only to realise how important she is to me, as a friend, and as a source of inspiration.

[BMW69]

Originally Posted by gotnotime

Indeed, except that you have a next gf. She was never mine to begin with..
If she's reading this story right now, I want her to know that I'm sorry, and I want to make up for everything that I did wrong. I let go of my feelings for her, only to realise how important she is to me, as a friend, and as a source of inspiration.

You're talking about the girl from your other story now I assume? And sammynewbie is right.