Complicated Story. Need Help. - Page 3

porscheclub · #31 28-06-2015, 05:58 PM

TS, forget about your dad's old promise. He should've given your mum the money (Her share) when they divorced.

So, it should be quite clear that your name is eligible. I strongly suggest that you apply for a flat with your mother first. The GF is a GF means temporary & even a young couple has high rate of divorce these days so please plan this carefully around your family & think 10yrs ahead. One thing though, your spouse's income+CPF can be handy when purchasing a flat.

Current policy is simple. We can have only one HDB related flat. The moment you own a another private property whether in Singapore or overseas, you'll be forced to sell your HDB flat. Once you acquire a private property then you can buy as many as you can afford then look at HDBs with "jealousy" because it's a guarded privilege.

178noobnoob · #32 29-06-2015, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porscheclub

TS, forget about your dad's old promise. He should've given your mum the money (Her share) when they divorced.

So, it should be quite clear that your name is eligible. I strongly suggest that you apply for a flat with your mother first. The GF is a GF means temporary & even a young couple has high rate of divorce these days so please plan this carefully around your family & think 10yrs ahead. One thing though, your spouse's income+CPF can be handy when purchasing a flat.

Current policy is simple. We can have only one HDB related flat. The moment you own a another private property whether in Singapore or overseas, you'll be forced to sell your HDB flat. Once you acquire a private property then you can buy as many as you can afford then look at HDBs with "jealousy" because it's a guarded privilege.

Hi bro,

Does that mean my name only can have a flat?

Regards
178noobnoob

orangeproud · #33 29-06-2015, 12:41 AM

Yes, u can only own 1 Hdb flat at your name only. To voice my concern, if TS intend to buy the bto flat with your gf(future wife), u all apply using married couple status, u intend to bring in your mum & sis to stay with u all, hopefully they can get along with your gf who is also your future wife, if not u will be very headaches as you r sandwiches by both sides, one side your mum & sis, another side your wife. The wife might brainwash or threaten u to chase them out of the house under unfavourable circumstances. Not to scare u, bro, there r lots of family dispute cases around. Think carefully who u want to put your name tgt when applying for the flat.

But meanwhile, most urgent is to settle your lodging problem first, maybe just rent a small room to share with three of u.

178noobnoob · #34 30-06-2015, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orangeproud

Yes, u can only own 1 Hdb flat at your name only. To voice my concern, if TS intend to buy the bto flat with your gf(future wife), u all apply using married couple status, u intend to bring in your mum & sis to stay with u all, hopefully they can get along with your gf who is also your future wife, if not u will be very headaches as you r sandwiches by both sides, one side your mum & sis, another side your wife. The wife might brainwash or threaten u to chase them out of the house under unfavourable circumstances. Not to scare u, bro, there r lots of family dispute cases around. Think carefully who u want to put your name tgt when applying for the flat.

But meanwhile, most urgent is to settle your lodging problem first, maybe just rent a small room to share with three of u.

Hi bro,

Thanks, will consider about this. Have thought about the issue if my mum and my gf issue. But i also wont know what will happen. I have always wanted a place with just my gf and i. But i dont want to disappoint my mum and my sis as well. Sometime i'm being sandwich, but i dont know what i can do. Guess keeping my mouth shut will be the best option.

Regards,
178noobnoob

orangeproud · #35 30-06-2015, 01:20 PM

It is hard to have best of both world.

Zou yi bu Suan yi bu (sorry system lousy, can't show Chinese word but Han yu pin ying only)

To keep quiet is a wise move.

Most importantly, conscience is clear in whatever decision u made.

178noobnoob · #36 01-07-2015, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orangeproud

It is hard to have best of both world.

Zou yi bu Suan yi bu (sorry system lousy, can't show Chinese word but Han yu pin ying only)

To keep quiet is a wise move.

Most importantly, conscience is clear in whatever decision u made.

Hahaha. Thanks bro. Now really take one step at a time. But my mum and gf keep asking me to voice out. Once i voice out, sure tio left right centre from both of them.
Shall see how my life goes with ny current job then.
No pay raise, also no hope already.

178noobnoob

OffLimits · #37 01-07-2015, 12:07 AM

If he has remarried and happily living there now, what makes u think he will hand it over to u n then start to look for a new flat m start paying installment again?

orangeproud · #38 01-07-2015, 12:47 AM

Have u applied & successfully get the bto flat? If not yet, as sometimes depend on luck as it is computerized ballot. Not yet get the bto flat, u must hold on the current job first although the pay may not high & not risen, as the hdb law stated the applicant of bto flat must at least 1 year continuous employment period at the time u applied, to show that u r job stable, financial stable. If is a job Hopper can't hold on a job for 1 yrs, then the chance is zero.

Now the economic is not very good, some of my friends new job pay also low and the job now are grabbed up faster. Better to hold to the job until u get the flat as hdb will check your employment history.

Women are very irritating creatures, like to nag and compare a lot....to continue keep quiet ignore them is wiser as u dun wan to offend either one of them.

Feel tough for u. Bro, life goes on, stay strong

Meowoo · #39 01-07-2015, 02:36 AM

Hi TS, it sounds like your life is surrounded by women. Your mom, your sis and your gf. I hope you will really think for yourself and family first, then your gf. Passive aggressive women are often the death of men, and then these young widows lament that their husband die early. Do take care and plan for YOURself, YOUR life.

khanh · #40 09-07-2015, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 178noobnoob

Hahaha. Thanks bro. Now really take one step at a time. But my mum and gf keep asking me to voice out. Once i voice out, sure tio left right centre from both of them.
Shall see how my life goes with ny current job then.
No pay raise, also no hope already.

178noobnoob

erm, if u are settling down to married life and geeting a place of your own, does not mean you love your mom less. u can still visit yr mom. this will keep both women happy.

178noobnoob · #41 10-07-2015, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by khanh

erm, if u are settling down to married life and geeting a place of your own, does not mean you love your mom less. u can still visit yr mom. this will keep both women happy.

Hi bro,

The issue is my mum wants to stay together with me and my gf if we were to bto a flat.

That's the issue. She will complain this and that, that's when i got sandwhich.

khanh · #42 10-07-2015, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 178noobnoob

Hi bro,

The issue is my mum wants to stay together with me and my gf if we were to bto a flat.

That's the issue. She will complain this and that, that's when i got sandwhich.

yep, not a nice feeling to be sandwiched. stress big time.

178noobnoob · #43 11-07-2015, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by khanh

yep, not a nice feeling to be sandwiched. stress big time.

Now also sian. Time to see how it goes. Really dont know what else to do. Job wise, feel like doing a switch also. Stress lvl keep getting higher and higher.

khanh · #44 11-07-2015, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 178noobnoob

Now also sian. Time to see how it goes. Really dont know what else to do. Job wise, feel like doing a switch also. Stress lvl keep getting higher and higher.

but here's a thought. and just a thought.
when u settle down to married life, your family is u and your wife and any kids that may follow.
as long as you are clear that you are not unfilial to your mom, you just need to get used to her nagging, which i think shud be temporary.
though your mom have difficulty letting you go, its something that she may have to get used to with time.
just takes time i guess.

porscheclub · #45 13-07-2015, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 178noobnoob

Hi bro,

The issue is my mum wants to stay together with me and my gf if we were to bto a flat.

That's the issue. She will complain this and that, that's when i got sandwhich.

Managing a wife is a already bothersome. Try managing 3 women from two households under one roof

Dude. You'll have a pleasant time grinding away

90, maybe 100% of wives cannot tahan living with our mums especially in our State. They'll initially oblige then all the complaints will start to leak like a sinking boat. Anyway, you sound young so choose your wife wisely & marry after 30yrs old to know what you want in life and be able to manage it better.