Need help in moving on

[maxsee]

Eh...Xenna is a girl leh...dun think would be wise to ask her to screw ard....

[Xenna]

Originally Posted by ironman73

Hi Xenna, been hurt and hurting others is part and parcel of life. You will fell in and out of many "so-called" love, relationship in your life time. Even after your marriage, this cycle will still exist. I am sure alot of Bro, and Sis will agreed what i have said here.

Secondly, we are all humans, we get disappointed when we don't get the things we THINK we deserve, we get angry when ppl objected the views we have, we get happy when things move along the way we wanted... Both men and women have similar emotional needs, crave, dislike...etc. I have men friends in his 40s cried over a failed relationship and almost commited suicide. MUST always remember, when it come to any failed relationship, THERE IS NO RIGHT AND WRONG..

To me, is good to be hurt, at least it shown that you are still able to love or beloved.

Lastly, my advice is do what you need to do. Cried out aloud, go for a drinking rampage, expand your social circle, concentrate on your studies or work, go screw around etc. But you must remember, just by jumping into another relationship will most likely be fruitless and it will in turn you hurting ther other party. Is not really a responsible act but do it if you think it can help u to get out of current sitituation..

thanks. definitely i won't jump into another relationship immediately just for the sake for forgetting him.
i'd say i'm handling this very well already. actually none of my friends know i'm still bothered by this as i look perfectly fine and cheerful on the outside. perhaps forum is the only place where i could show my sorrow.

Originally Posted by maxsee

Eh...Xenna is a girl leh...dun think would be wise to ask her to screw ard....

haha yeah. i just joined here to explore around. not looking for anything.

[gent]

Hi,

I Disagree that guy move on easier.

I am with my gf for 3 years. She says love me just 2 weeks ago but yet fell in love with another guy! She moved on. I am the one trying so hard to keep her. She said if I love her, I should let her go... I say ok. My mind is still thinking of her because of the 3 years we spent together. Not necessary that guy can move on easier. Gals can do it also.

My 2 cents...

[Xenna]

Originally Posted by gent

Hi,

I Disagree that guy move on easier.

I am with my gf for 3 years. She says love me just 2 weeks ago but yet fell in love with another guy! She moved on. I am the one trying so hard to keep her. She said if I love her, I should let her go... I say ok. My mind is still thinking of her because of the 3 years we spent together. Not necessary that guy can move on easier. Gals can do it also.

My 2 cents...

or maybe i should say girls will find it easier to move on when they meet a new guy who gives her the attention and love. if they remain single, they'll still miss their ex.
just saying in general terms cos that's what i observed.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

No need to avoid, no need to escape, no need to hide. Face it. Feel it. One way to do it is to look at his photo daily, let your emotions rise and fall like tempest storms and learn to observe them, but don't let them guide you in your daily mood (or mood swing).........Eventually, you will learn very clearly that all things are impermanent, that they arise, mature and pass away cos stormy weather always subside and give way to clear sky.

....Ok.....so much for Cyber Dharma....

Anyway an EX should stay an EX. They're the EXample of EXpired love that do not love you anymore and ought to be EXcavate from your heart. An EX is an EXplanation for why you deserve an EXcellent cock.

[dukuroad]

Need help to move on... should be okay la

[Xenna]

Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki

No need to avoid, no need to escape, no need to hide. Face it. Feel it. One way to do it is to look at his photo daily, let your emotions rise and fall like tempest storms and learn to observe them, but don't let them guide you in your daily mood (or mood swing).........Eventually, you will learn very clearly that all things are impermanent, that they arise, mature and pass away cos stormy weather always subside and give way to clear sky.

....Ok.....so much for Cyber Dharma....

Anyway an EX should stay an EX. They're the EXample of EXpired love that do not love you anymore and ought to be EXcavate from your heart. An EX is an EXplanation for why you deserve an EXcellent cock.

yup i'm totally not avoiding. avoiding will not make a clean move on. i'm trying to get myself immune to him and move on knowing that i still can face him while leading a new life.

[maxsee]

Time will wash away everything eventually..no matter how much LOVE u have for him...eventually it will fades with time....for now just bear with it....

[Xenna]

Originally Posted by maxsee

Time will wash away everything eventually..no matter how much LOVE u have for him...eventually it will fades with time....for now just bear with it....

yeah i don't really believe there's love forever. even for married couples, the love will fade with time and become kinship.

[gent]

Originally Posted by Xenna

or maybe i should say girls will find it easier to move on when they meet a new guy who gives her the attention and love. if they remain single, they'll still miss their ex.
just saying in general terms cos that's what i observed.

Yup. Exactly. For gals to move on, it is easier if she found new love.

If they are alone or cannot find any other guys better than their ex, most probably they will continue to miss him.

Not necessary that guys dont miss his ex-gf and move on, just that he don't show... I have seen friends who broke up and yet they r so in love. The guy marry another gal and the gal with another guy. But they missed each other! Why they don't get married and be happy together since both love each other? I also dont know. Fated?

[Xenna]

Originally Posted by gent

Yup. Exactly. For gals to move on, it is easier if she found new love.

If they are alone or cannot find any other guys better than their ex, most probably they will continue to miss him.

Not necessary that guys dont miss his ex-gf and move on, just that he don't show... I have seen friends who broke up and yet they r so in love. The guy marry another gal and the gal with another guy. But they missed each other! Why they don't get married and be happy together since both love each other? I also dont know. Fated?

i think that's one problem with guys. they don't show their emotions as openly as girls do so the girl may feel that he doesn't love her enough.
i guess miscommunication played a part in ur friends' situation. so i strongly believe that if u love someone, just tell him/her.

[superhuman]

sometimes loving each other doesn't mean they can be tog. Call it fate or destiny or sometimes torture.

therefore i believe the best way to move on is to be ok with yourself seeing her happy with another person and wishing the best for them.

if u can reach this stage, then your wounds should have recoverd 80% (minus the memories that you all share).

speaking from experience...

[gent]

Originally Posted by Xenna

i think that's one problem with guys. they don't show their emotions as openly as girls do so the girl may feel that he doesn't love her enough.
i guess miscommunication played a part in ur friends' situation. so i strongly believe that if u love someone, just tell him/her.

Yah. Don't expect a guy to say love you everyday. He rather showed it thru his action. I am not sure but maybe there r guys who is different and always shower and show their feelings and emotion to their gf...

'Gal may feel that he doesn't love her enough', how much is enough? Human always expect more, there is nv enough.

I always believe to say 'love u' need only 3 seconds, to prove it, u need a lifetime.

My 2 cents...

[maxsee]

For married couples...the love dun really fade with time n becomes kinship la...i once asked a good friend of mine who has a very successful marriage tat does she feels the same passionate love she has for her hubby mah....

she told me tat the love she once have is definitely gone la....the hubby sort of integrated into part of her life la...something like become part of her la...just like ur hands and legs la...while u dun loves ur hands n legs...they r part of u tat u realize tat u can't do without mah...maybe tis is how all successful relationship will eventually evolved into .....

[Botakhead]

Dear Sister, what is it that you're worried about not able to let go the past r/s with your ex? What is it that your yearning for, someone to hold and talk to or, just want to let out your internal feelings pent up frustrations? Basically, you must be able to read your situation now, what do you want to do with your present, you can't keep looking back and savour the past, like this you'll never never be able to let go and look forward to a new r/s. And worst of all, rush into another failed r/s when the current one is still being held onto. Relax, give yourself some time and space to think what is it that you actually want out of your life. Did you really committed wholeheartedly into the past r/s, or did he give his 100%? Why did it fail and ended up like this? Did something go wrong with either of you, or either one of you did something that cause the r/s to breakup? Do your maths and calculate. Never step into the same hole again if you've fallen into it before.
Have fun and make more samster friends.