Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner - Page 285

Thom07 · #**4261** 03-11-2008, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chanyboy

Just listing some info to share (for discussion too), on settling down with Vn-bx

You getting married? Been a long time since I listened to your experiences in China.

SingViet · #**4262** 03-11-2008, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chanyboy

Just listing some info to share (for discussion too), on settling down with Vn-bx:

- need to buy 5-golds for your ger (dunno Vn gold similar to Sg gold)
- choose wedding rings way ahead
- must take wedding pixs way ahead before big day
- wedding makan normally in the afternoon (so distance relatives can come in time & return home)
- give angpow ? (dunno leh)
- stay overnight at in-law's home

Just listing, while still on guard-duty at the SG-trench with my rifle ready...unused for the last 7 months. Got to last even longer...although there may be short assignments here, there...

Lance-corp Chany signed out.

Bro, just to share my experiences with fellow samsters:

(1) 5 Gold for your wife. FOR SURE. Gold there is very different from here in Singapore. Their gold is not as shiny as its pure gold. Its good quality gold leh. Anytime if the gold prices rise, you can still sell it back to the same shop with 15% discount.

(2) When you decide to marry your Vn gal, of course must buy wedding rings. Most of the time, diamond rings are necessary

(3) Taking wedding picture there is not so expensive la. Unlike singapore couples who spend a few thousand on wedding pictures, taking wedding photos in Vietnam only cost a few hundred. But of course, don't expect too high a quality for the wedding photo. So take earlier not a problem.

(4) Depends on how far yr wife's province is. I had mine for dinner as my in-law's province is only 2 1/2 hrs away from HCMC. But remember one thing, you must pay for their bus fare, most of the time, they will book the whole bus which will cost you a few hundred singapore dollars. My in-laws booked 2 buses to ferry frds and relatives and it cost me around 3.6 million VND in 2003.

(5) Give ang pao? u mean give yr in-laws ang pao or guests give you ang pao? Yes, you must give yr in-laws ang pao and the ang pao from frds and relatives, they keep also. Basically, you spend a lot and get back nothing.

(6) if you want to marry in VN, make sure you have yr own hotel room or house. Don't be looked down as a low class foreigner who cannot even afford to rent a hotel room.

X_plorer · #**4263** 03-11-2008, 07:55 AM

Bro Singviet,

You are damn right.. That is why sometimes they treat us as ATM.. Moreover now economy not good, that would be even worse, lucky i already voice out before hand that due to the economy now, my businesses had drop around 70 - 80%, basically, i can have a long holiday before doing business again.. That's why they didn't ask for more, but in return i still ask for lesser monthly allowance to them.. I would say that when i send money to them is even more accurate than any company out there, super on the dot.. Whereas my payment from my clients keeps on delaying..

I still dun noe what will happen if really one day my business flops and really broke till unable to send money over, and i still have to feed my children somemore...

To my calculation, I'm sending around 5-10% of my income over, basically to a year calculation, i can relax a month every year and use the money to spent without stressing more.. So sad.. Been thinking ways and means not to send money over, any ways out there? They got so many bros and sis, how come i am the only one who is the son-in-law only to send, and feeding their entire family, whereas i have to struggle so fucking hard, but yet still not happy and every time wanna quarrel with me.. Really cannot tolerate and wanted a divorce and i'm fucking free from any stress..

And definately married is out of senario any more.. Fear for the commitment.. 1 income for the whole family and those whom i dun even see them more than 3 times before..

Shit man!!

casannova03 · #**4264** 03-11-2008, 12:03 PM

I was lucky my wife knew i was not in good financial shape then when we married....most important thing is she said " dun need treat in VN la...very ma fan also now we still paying for the house(in vn)"

haha guesssed i escaped...

casannova03 · #**4265** 03-11-2008, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by X_plorer

Shit man!!

bro, you made the choice back then because you love her no??

these are all problems that comes with the package man. I think i mentioned somewhere earlier in this thread that EDUCATION is the key to sending less money..

It does not make sense to your wife that how come you were able to send XX amount of money then but now you wanna cut down suddenly. this will lead to quarrel...confirmed!!! i've been thru that...

BUT, this can be resolved...remember your wife chose you also because she loved you.. slowly talk to her and make her see the big 'picture'...that her family have to be able to fend for themselves even without your help! that your contributions shoul be treated as a bonus for buying new clothes and other luxuries...

what i said to convince my wife : " you know darling, life is so unpredictable now.. look at the newspaper report..healthy people are dying for no reasons...this is frightening..I have been thinking you should let your family realise that they cannot depend on us forever for their basic needs...what if one day something unexpected happens to the both of us?? Your family is going to suffer!! "

she got my meaning....

jackbl · #**4266** 03-11-2008, 12:23 PM

Hi, this u have to learn from Singviet... I felt that b4 marriage, u have to discuss with ur bx first the financial support that u can give to her family. if she cant agree then TOO BAD.... Try to physco her that the family here is now more important than the family there.... Tell her that her parent is marrying a daughter and SELLING a daughter ok

IMHO, if 1 month just give 200-300 still ok for me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by X_plorer

I still dun noe what will happen if really one day my business flops and really broke till unable to send money over, and i still have to feed my children somemore...

To my calculation, I'm sending around 5-10% of my income over, basically to a year calculation, i can relax a month every year and use the money to spent without stressing more.. So sad.. Been thinking ways and means not to send money over, any ways out there? They got so many bros and sis, how come i am the only one who is the son-in-law only to send, and feeding their entire family, whereas i have to struggle so fucking hard, but yet still not happy and every time wanna quarrel with me.. Really cannot tolerate and wanted a divorce and i'm fucking free from any stress..

Shit man!!

casannova03 · #**4267** 03-11-2008, 12:42 PM

Bro, X plorer...give you one hot tip...

Vietnamese girls are mostly " Mouth Hard Heart soft"

got it?? So take the soft approach and explain...even though you very 'bek chek' wanna explode liao also must lun.....go soft with them and you will get what you want ...eventually...

well, if you choose to use hard with them , normally we will see a hurricane as fierce as the recent financial stock crash la...hahaha

and normally when they angry, just apologise first....dun care who wrong..you know you right also.just apologise first..then talk later...i think it works...maybe back in vn they always have to submit to the males in the family so when you as a male is softer with them , they tend to like it...

how bro singviet?? any views on this??

Hurricane88 · #**4268** 03-11-2008, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by casannova03

Bro, X plorer...give you one hot tip...

Vietnamese girls are mostly " Mouth Hard Heart soft"

got it?? So take the soft approach and explain...even though you very 'bek chek' wanna explode liao also must lun.....go soft with them and you will get what you want ...eventually...

well, if you choose to use hard with them , normally we will see a hurricane as fierce as the recent financial stock crash la...hahaha

and normally when they angry, just apologise first....dun care who wrong..you know you right also.just apologise first..then talk later...i think it works...maybe back in vn they always have to submit to the males in the family so when you as a male is softer with them , they tend to like it...

how bro singviet?? any views on this??

Wow..I definitely learn alot from your posts...pls post more...

SingViet · #**4269** 03-11-2008, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by casannova03

Bro, X plorer...give you one hot tip...

Vietnamese girls are mostly " Mouth Hard Heart soft"

got it?? So take the soft approach and explain...even though you very 'bek chek' wanna explode liao also must lun.....go soft with them and you will get what you want ...eventually...

well, if you choose to use hard with them , normally we will see a hurricane as fierce as the recent financial stock crash la...hahaha

and normally when they angry, just apologise first....dun care who wrong..you know you right also.just apologise first..then talk later...i think it works...maybe back in vn they always have to submit to the males in the family so when you as a male is softer with them , they tend to like it...

how bro singviet?? any views on this??

Bro, this i agree with you. Actually most gals are like that, soft hearted. Just that VN gals cool down much faster and easier while Spore gals will take forever to cool down. In a marriage, there's not always only good times, bad times come by once in a while too. Soft approach always work better on gals. When you are feeling tu lan and yr ba xa also feeling the same, stop talking for the next few hours, cool down and you will be alright. Talk to her later when both parties have cool down. I always try to make my wife laugh after a heated argument. Can you imagine, my wife even asked me to pull my car over and she alighted the car and started walking by the roadside. i was angry and drove off but U turned after 3 mins. Asked her to board the car but she refused..... after 1 hr, she's laughing again and talking to me. This is the great difference b/w Viet BX and Spore BX. For bros with Vn wife, ask them to scrub yr back during shower. Take shower with yr ba xa as often as possible. Trust me, they scrub well.... make u feel good.. hahaha

hjy_19 · #**4270** 03-11-2008, 02:52 PM

any1 going vietnam today me flying over 4/11

casannova03 · #**4271** 03-11-2008, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SingViet

For bros with Vn wife, ask them to scrub yr back during shower. Take shower with yr ba xa as often as possible. Trust me, they scrub well.... make u feel good.. hahaha

Bro, i have a feeling you copy me lei...hahahahhaha....

anyway, i feel that once you choose your wife and she chose you, nothing cannot be worked out...i think it applies to all marriages but just tht i feel that VN wives are easier to coax la....just make them laugh like bro Singviet said...it will take away a whole lot of tension and will make any subsequent discussions much much easier..

chanyboy · #**4272** 04-11-2008, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thom07

You getting married? Been a long time since I listened to your experiences in China.

I'm stucked in Sg for months loh..so no CN experience to share..(I heard Zaryl & Techno made it to CN..kudos!) No, not getting married. Just reading the Vn thread & compel to list down what came to mind..just my nature of being an IT-analyst (detail person).. This is one most informative thread I hv read. Kudos to SingViet. There's also good encouragement frm VK sometimes ago...

Quote:

Originally Posted by SingViet

...

(2) ... Most of the time, diamond rings are necessary

ouch..!

(4) ...but remember one thing, you must pay for their bus fare, most of the time, they will book the whole bus which will cost you a few hundred singapore dollars. ..

I reckon there's many other hidden cost too..

(5) ..u mean give yr in-laws ang pao & the ang pao from frds and relatives, they keep also.

I recalled Sg version is in-law give angpows/gold-stuff to couple instead..

(6) if you want to marry in VN, make sure you have yr own hotel room..
..ger-frenly one I reckon. Those classy one may not even allow bx to come in - as wedding not taken place yet!!