Just stay single

[Peacekeeping]

Originally Posted by singleman

yes. nowsaday may not able to rely on children to look after us when we are old. children themselves will have their own family, their own children to take care of. so still we have to take care on our own and stay healthy whether u r single or married. if not healthy n hv a lot of medical problem, u hv alot of money or children u will also not able to "enjoy" all these.

another thing which i felt is if we have parent still living, if can try to take care of them urself. take care by their own children n take care by helper there is a difference. believe what our parent want may not be just giving them money, provide them accommodation, food. more important is show concern to them, talk to them. bring them go out esp if they are going to see doctor or medical checkup. have chance hold their hand when walk with them. the feeling of holding hand with their own children n holding the helper hand is different.

when we are young, they hold our hand scare we fell down. now they are old is our turn to hold them to give them some kind of "security" or "safety" feeling.

my mum is 88 years old, i am coming 55. when outside i hold her hand when we walk. initially she dun wan me hold her hand. she say paiseh. i told her i am ur son, son hold mum hand what is there to paiseh for. since then, she allow me to hold her hand when walk outside. at least i feel by holding her hand, can ensure a bit that they won't fell down easily.

Although we still have many years to go, have you thought about staying in nursing home when old? I hope our government plan well for the growing group of singles who will eventually grow old and need help with daily needs. Those have children, their children are obliged to take care of them by law. If we have nothing, our savings will also use finish, so how to pay for nursing home? We got to start thinking now.

[dieth1234]

Buy a house at 35. Kids can care or don’t care about you. No guarantee.
GF can stay or break with you no matter what you do. No guarantee.

Originally Posted by Peacekeeping

Although we still have many years to go, have you thought about staying in nursing home when old? I hope our government plan well for the growing group of singles who will eventually grow old and need help with daily needs. Those have children, their children are obliged to take care of them by law. If we have nothing, our savings will also use finish, so how to pay for nursing home? We got to start thinking now.

[Peacekeeping]

Originally Posted by dieth1234

Buy a house at 35. Kids can care or don’t care about you. No guarantee.
GF can stay or break with you no matter what you do. No guarantee.

We can’t stay alone in our hdb if we can’t take care of ourselves. If have kids, can use the legal way to get maintenance so we can survive old age. It’s guaranteed by law.

[naan1974]

an article about singlehood


SINGAPORE: Every decade, the unveiling of the latest Singapore Population Census data holds some delicious morsels of information of who we are as a nation.
The latest 2020 iteration surveyed 150,000 households. One finding that jumped out at me was singlehood becoming more common among males with lower educational qualifications, and among females with higher educational qualifications.
​
More specifically, 21.1 per cent of men aged 40 to 49 who did not complete secondary school were single in 2020, compared with 12.3 per cent of men in the same age group who went to university.
Similarly, 8.7 per cent of women aged 40 to 49 who did not complete secondary school were single in 2020, but 18.7 per cent of women in this age group who went to university were single – a figure that was roughly the same 10 years ago.

According to the book The Adapted Mind: Evolutionary Psychology and the Generation of Culture by anthropologists Jerome Barkow and John Tooby and psychologist Leda Cosmides, characteristics that women link to high mate value include economic status, willingness to invest in relationships, security, and control of resources.
​
So it is not difficult to see why men who only completed primary school and may be more likely to have lower paying jobs, remain unattached. Especially in a country like Singapore where cost of living is high, and where the economy is driven by high-knowledge industries such as finance, info-communications, and value-added manufacturing.
Factor in the sky-high cost of housing, cars, and raising children who need tuition to survive the system – it’s no wonder there are so many dual-career couples. In fact, they form the largest group among married couples, increasing from 47.1 per cent in 2010 to 52.5 per cent in 2020.


Given how expensive and competitive life in Singapore is, you would think a university-educated career woman would have sky-high mate value. She’d be in the best position to help foot the bills, teach the children heuristic math models and give their partners helpful career advice and contacts.
But no – one in five university-educated women in their 40s is single. What gives? Are they too picky, too busy, too independent, too intimidating?
(Photo: rawpixel / Unsplash)
Since quite a few of my girlfriends fall into the “single, tertiary-educated 40-something careerwoman” demographic, I reached out to three of them for insights.
Media consultant Hwee, who’s 48 and in a long-term relationship (neither she nor her partner wish to get married), admits she can be hard to handle even though she never had trouble getting dates, or entering a series of long-term relationships.
“Since my 20s, I’ve had guys tell me that I’m too outspoken, too independent, too intimidating,’’ adding that while she’s mostly “fun to be with, low-maintenance and chill” she still ended up in big arguments with past boyfriends over ideological differences and broke up with them.
​
“One said if we were to get married, I’d have to convert to his religion. Another said he would get married only if we had kids, knowing full well I didn’t want any. Then he got an overseas posting, but there was no way I was going to give up my job to move with him if we weren’t getting married.”
“Yet another was all for my career, except that he enjoyed gloating over how much more money he made than me,” she recalls.


It’s something she can’t help, she says. “If I do encounter b*******, I call it out. I don’t see why I have to defer to someone who’s clearly wrong, unreasonable, or idiotic,’’ she says emphatically.
“Maybe I’ve been unlucky in love? Too unwilling to compromise? Bad at picking the right kind of guy? Missed some invisible ‘critical deadline’ for marrying by 35?” she muses.
One guy she went on a couple of dinners with told her point blank she was too smart for her own good.
“He said I was good company but it was hard for him to imagine being in a relationship with me. He said I was better off dating foreigners who could ‘tahan outspoken women’.”
(Photo: Unsplash/Craig Whitehead)
“Can you imagine that comment came from a top lawyer in his 50s? So if even smart, successful, outspoken, older men are intimidated by me, what about the average dude?” she wonders.
GIVING UP TOO MUCH?
But dig deeper and you find a whole host of other concerns. Women like Hwee earn a good keep, they have apartments and are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.
Marriage is about kids at the end of the day, she tells me. And that’s where the biggest rub lies.
Let’s get real about who does the heavy lifting, she says. “I feel in marriage and motherhood, the woman gets the short end of the stick. It can hold back her career, while burdening her with the lion’s share of household responsibilities.”

At 45, she finally met someone who admires her independent mind and lifestyle but is not about to step into the Registry of Marriages anytime soon.​
Dee, a 43-year-old project manager has these exact sentiments – she’s had five long-term relationships but they ended when the men wanted a family.
“Many friends say I should have gotten married, then I will change my mind about having kids at a later stage. I don’t agree. I have also seen my married friends fighting over frivolous things, and going through divorces, and I don’t understand why did they put themselves through this,” she observes.

She says she doesn’t have an ideal guy, and is open to dating someone who earns less than her – she’s done that before. But she’s had a fair share of the proverbial frogs in the dating scene.
EMBRACING SINGLEHOOD
For my educated female friends, dating is a hit and miss in Singapore – they come across angry men on the rebound, nervous wrecks who think women are out to cheat them and the downright weirdos who send pictures of their genitalia.

The sheer tedium of it means many of these women simply go on leading the rich, full lives they’ve always had – working hard, exploring the world for work or play, tending to dogs, cats and plants, and taking up interesting hobbies. Those who enjoy the company of children (without the full responsibilities of parenthood), dote on nieces, nephews and friends’ kids.
But for many, like my friend Melanie, a senior advertising executive in her early 40s, poor relationships in her past have made it very clear what she won’t settle for.
Are her standards unreasonably high? No, she says and proceeds to give me a list.

Not abusive and no cheaters
Ideally two to five years older than me
Have spent time / worked overseas
Decent looking (let's get real... there is only one Robert Downey Junior and one Hugh Jackman in this world, and they are both taken)
Is financially self-sufficient/stable
Loves and respects his parents (but no mummy's boy please)
Willing to have open conversations, not afraid to laugh at himself and is fairly sociable.
He must be able to get along with my friends. Oh, and it’s important that he has his own friends too
Confident, not the jealous type, willing to give me space
Is well spoken and carries himself well
Able to accept that I love my job, and leave me to it

Will she accept that potential dates may find this a high bar and so she may be forever single?
“If it doesn’t happen, it’s fine. No one will die. I’d rather be single and happy, than attached but irritated.”

[aakumu]

Originally Posted by naan1974

an article about singlehood


SINGAPORE: Every decade, the unveiling of the latest Singapore Population Census data holds some delicious morsels of information of who we are as a nation.
The latest 2020 iteration surveyed 150,000 households. One finding that jumped out at me was singlehood becoming more common among males with lower educational qualifications, and among females with higher educational qualifications.
​
More specifically, 21.1 per cent of men aged 40 to 49 who did not complete secondary school were single in 2020, compared with 12.3 per cent of men in the same age group who went to university.
Similarly, 8.7 per cent of women aged 40 to 49 who did not complete secondary school were single in 2020, but 18.7 per cent of women in this age group who went to university were single – a figure that was roughly the same 10 years ago.

According to the book The Adapted Mind: Evolutionary Psychology and the Generation of Culture by anthropologists Jerome Barkow and John Tooby and psychologist Leda Cosmides, characteristics that women link to high mate value include economic status, willingness to invest in relationships, security, and control of resources.
​
So it is not difficult to see why men who only completed primary school and may be more likely to have lower paying jobs, remain unattached. Especially in a country like Singapore where cost of living is high, and where the economy is driven by high-knowledge industries such as finance, info-communications, and value-added manufacturing.
Factor in the sky-high cost of housing, cars, and raising children who need tuition to survive the system – it’s no wonder there are so many dual-career couples. In fact, they form the largest group among married couples, increasing from 47.1 per cent in 2010 to 52.5 per cent in 2020.


Given how expensive and competitive life in Singapore is, you would think a university-educated career woman would have sky-high mate value. She’d be in the best position to help foot the bills, teach the children heuristic math models and give their partners helpful career advice and contacts.
But no – one in five university-educated women in their 40s is single. What gives? Are they too picky, too busy, too independent, too intimidating?
(Photo: rawpixel / Unsplash)
Since quite a few of my girlfriends fall into the “single, tertiary-educated 40-something careerwoman” demographic, I reached out to three of them for insights.
Media consultant Hwee, who’s 48 and in a long-term relationship (neither she nor her partner wish to get married), admits she can be hard to handle even though she never had trouble getting dates, or entering a series of long-term relationships.
“Since my 20s, I’ve had guys tell me that I’m too outspoken, too independent, too intimidating,’’ adding that while she’s mostly “fun to be with, low-maintenance and chill” she still ended up in big arguments with past boyfriends over ideological differences and broke up with them.
​
“One said if we were to get married, I’d have to convert to his religion. Another said he would get married only if we had kids, knowing full well I didn’t want any. Then he got an overseas posting, but there was no way I was going to give up my job to move with him if we weren’t getting married.”
“Yet another was all for my career, except that he enjoyed gloating over how much more money he made than me,” she recalls.


It’s something she can’t help, she says. “If I do encounter b*******, I call it out. I don’t see why I have to defer to someone who’s clearly wrong, unreasonable, or idiotic,’’ she says emphatically.
“Maybe I’ve been unlucky in love? Too unwilling to compromise? Bad at picking the right kind of guy? Missed some invisible ‘critical deadline’ for marrying by 35?” she muses.
One guy she went on a couple of dinners with told her point blank she was too smart for her own good.
“He said I was good company but it was hard for him to imagine being in a relationship with me. He said I was better off dating foreigners who could ‘tahan outspoken women’.”
(Photo: Unsplash/Craig Whitehead)
“Can you imagine that comment came from a top lawyer in his 50s? So if even smart, successful, outspoken, older men are intimidated by me, what about the average dude?” she wonders.
GIVING UP TOO MUCH?
But dig deeper and you find a whole host of other concerns. Women like Hwee earn a good keep, they have apartments and are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.
Marriage is about kids at the end of the day, she tells me. And that’s where the biggest rub lies.
Let’s get real about who does the heavy lifting, she says. “I feel in marriage and motherhood, the woman gets the short end of the stick. It can hold back her career, while burdening her with the lion’s share of household responsibilities.”

At 45, she finally met someone who admires her independent mind and lifestyle but is not about to step into the Registry of Marriages anytime soon.​
Dee, a 43-year-old project manager has these exact sentiments – she’s had five long-term relationships but they ended when the men wanted a family.
“Many friends say I should have gotten married, then I will change my mind about having kids at a later stage. I don’t agree. I have also seen my married friends fighting over frivolous things, and going through divorces, and I don’t understand why did they put themselves through this,” she observes.

She says she doesn’t have an ideal guy, and is open to dating someone who earns less than her – she’s done that before. But she’s had a fair share of the proverbial frogs in the dating scene.
EMBRACING SINGLEHOOD
For my educated female friends, dating is a hit and miss in Singapore – they come across angry men on the rebound, nervous wrecks who think women are out to cheat them and the downright weirdos who send pictures of their genitalia.

The sheer tedium of it means many of these women simply go on leading the rich, full lives they’ve always had – working hard, exploring the world for work or play, tending to dogs, cats and plants, and taking up interesting hobbies. Those who enjoy the company of children (without the full responsibilities of parenthood), dote on nieces, nephews and friends’ kids.
But for many, like my friend Melanie, a senior advertising executive in her early 40s, poor relationships in her past have made it very clear what she won’t settle for.
Are her standards unreasonably high? No, she says and proceeds to give me a list.

Not abusive and no cheaters
Ideally two to five years older than me
Have spent time / worked overseas
Decent looking (let's get real... there is only one Robert Downey Junior and one Hugh Jackman in this world, and they are both taken)
Is financially self-sufficient/stable
Loves and respects his parents (but no mummy's boy please)
Willing to have open conversations, not afraid to laugh at himself and is fairly sociable.
He must be able to get along with my friends. Oh, and it’s important that he has his own friends too
Confident, not the jealous type, willing to give me space
Is well spoken and carries himself well
Able to accept that I love my job, and leave me to it

Will she accept that potential dates may find this a high bar and so she may be forever single?
“If it doesn’t happen, it’s fine. No one will die. I’d rather be single and happy, than attached but irritated.”

Hi bro,
Well said.
Just want to add my views.
The desirable MAN is not only desire by her but by most women, so is not what the she wants but what she can offer.
As those desirable men have choices.
If 100 women want these MEN, why would he pick her???
There are always be younger more agreeable women on the market...

My humble two cents.

[centvin]

Originally Posted by aakumu

Hi bro,
Well said.
Just want to add my views.
The desirable MAN is not only desire by her but by most women, so is not what the she wants but what she can offer.
As those desirable men have choices.
If 100 women want these MEN, why would he pick her???
There are always be younger more agreeable women on the market...

My humble two cents.

Yes. Agreed, I always made the same analogy to both men and women.
Men want loving wife and they should be expected to give back the same.
Women want rich, handsome and stable spouse, are they able to fulfil the criteria of these men?

U have 20 dollars, u can only buy normal steak. U have 100 dollars, u can buyA5 waygu

[centvin]

Originally Posted by aakumu

Hi bro,
Well said.
Just want to add my views.
The desirable MAN is not only desire by her but by most women, so is not what the she wants but what she can offer.
As those desirable men have choices.
If 100 women want these MEN, why would he pick her???
There are always be younger more agreeable women on the market...

My humble two cents.

Yes. Agreed well said, I always made the same analogy to both men and women.
Men want loving wife and they should be expected to give back the same.
Women want rich, handsome and stable spouse, are they able to fulfil the criteria of these men?

U have 20 dollars, u can only buy normal steak. Do u ask if u can buyA5 waygu?
I earn 80k per Yr, fit n toned tho abit short, I cook and cleaned my own hdb tt I owned. Not much, not rich but more than 50percent of the population I supposed? I had ppl in their 40s interviewing me abt my finances in dating app. Yes I met some expectations of some of them, but do I sell my MSW at the price for D13? Lol

[sbwow]

Originally Posted by centvin

Yes. Agreed well said, I always made the same analogy to both men and women.
Men want loving wife and they should be expected to give back the same.
Women want rich, handsome and stable spouse, are they able to fulfil the criteria of these men?

U have 20 dollars, u can only buy normal steak. Do u ask if u can buyA5 waygu?
I earn 80k per Yr, fit n toned tho abit short, I cook and cleaned my own hdb tt I owned. Not much, not rich but more than 50percent of the population I supposed? I had ppl in their 40s interviewing me abt my finances in dating app. Yes I met some expectations of some of them, but do I sell my MSW at the price for D13? Lol

Tell them they are almost half a century old. Why would I pay so much for an old machinery that cannot do much soon? Muhahahah

[dieth1234]

Date a girl and bring her to eat nice hawker food.
Don’t bring to restaurant. Waste money.

If she love you, she is ok to go hawker.

Then bring her to take a romantic walk along the beach.
Don’t go shopping and she buy branded and you pay

If she love you, she don’t mind do simple things together
You can draw some drawing too. All Low budget activities

Everyone is chasing more and more materials things
It’s very tiring. Why not just enjoy life?
Enjoy a sea breeze. Spend some quality time to do some drawing

Of course, if she say no. Then I move on to the next one.
Why waste time? Spend so much $$$ does not mean you can get anything in return…

[kingkanibu]

Originally Posted by aakumu

Hi bro,
Well said.
Just want to add my views.
The desirable MAN is not only desire by her but by most women, so is not what the she wants but what she can offer.
As those desirable men have choices.
If 100 women want these MEN, why would he pick her???
There are always be younger more agreeable women on the market...

My humble two cents.

agreed totally....
women should look into the mirror and see what they can offer in return...

esp app for those + sized and face cmi type...
ownself already cmi but still want to lookout for brad pitt level type...

[Prince Devitt]

Originally Posted by dieth1234

Date a girl and bring her to eat nice hawker food.
Don’t bring to restaurant. Waste money.

If she love you, she is ok to go hawker.

Then bring her to take a romantic walk along the beach.
Don’t go shopping and she buy branded and you pay

If she love you, she don’t mind do simple things together
You can draw some drawing too. All Low budget activities

Everyone is chasing more and more materials things
It’s very tiring. Why not just enjoy life?
Enjoy a sea breeze. Spend some quality time to do some drawing

Of course, if she say no. Then I move on to the next one.
Why waste time? Spend so much $$$ does not mean you can get anything in return…

Well said, +57

[supershaft]

Originally Posted by dieth1234

Date a girl and bring her to eat nice hawker food.
Don’t bring to restaurant. Waste money.

If she love you, she is ok to go hawker.

Then bring her to take a romantic walk along the beach.
Don’t go shopping and she buy branded and you pay

If she love you, she don’t mind do simple things together
You can draw some drawing too. All Low budget activities

Everyone is chasing more and more materials things
It’s very tiring. Why not just enjoy life?
Enjoy a sea breeze. Spend some quality time to do some drawing

Of course, if she say no. Then I move on to the next one.
Why waste time? Spend so much $$$ does not mean you can get anything in return…

fully agreeee

or jus find those lobang ML pcc for u at $20 ... once a week clear ammo.. 1 mth less than $80... save all hassle of courtship wasting time

[Naka_Timo]

Originally Posted by dieth1234

Date a girl and bring her to eat nice hawker food.
Don’t bring to restaurant. Waste money.

If she love you, she is ok to go hawker.

Then bring her to take a romantic walk along the beach.
Don’t go shopping and she buy branded and you pay

If she love you, she don’t mind do simple things together
You can draw some drawing too. All Low budget activities

Everyone is chasing more and more materials things
It’s very tiring. Why not just enjoy life?
Enjoy a sea breeze. Spend some quality time to do some drawing

Of course, if she say no. Then I move on to the next one.
Why waste time? Spend so much $$$ does not mean you can get anything in return…

Nice analysis. Upped +147

[aakumu]

Originally Posted by dieth1234

Date a girl and bring her to eat nice hawker food.
Don’t bring to restaurant. Waste money.

If she love you, she is ok to go hawker.

Then bring her to take a romantic walk along the beach.
Don’t go shopping and she buy branded and you pay

If she love you, she don’t mind do simple things together
You can draw some drawing too. All Low budget activities

Everyone is chasing more and more materials things
It’s very tiring. Why not just enjoy life?
Enjoy a sea breeze. Spend some quality time to do some drawing

Of course, if she say no. Then I move on to the next one.
Why waste time? Spend so much $$$ does not mean you can get anything in return…

Hi bro,
It is great that you an abundance mind set.

My humble two cents.

[SerflySGR]

Originally Posted by dieth1234

Date a girl and bring her to eat nice hawker food.
Don’t bring to restaurant. Waste money.

If she love you, she is ok to go hawker.

Then bring her to take a romantic walk along the beach.
Don’t go shopping and she buy branded and you pay

If she love you, she don’t mind do simple things together
You can draw some drawing too. All Low budget activities

Everyone is chasing more and more materials things
It’s very tiring. Why not just enjoy life?
Enjoy a sea breeze. Spend some quality time to do some drawing

Of course, if she say no. Then I move on to the next one.
Why waste time? Spend so much $$$ does not mean you can get anything in return…

New generation all brainwashed by the rose-tinted glasses that is called Internet, Bro dieth1234.

They think that whatever they see on Instagram is real. So many rich boi boi out there just doing videos but driving Lamborghini.

So why settle for hawker food?