You are very right, bro.. It also takes me a lot of time to trust my wife and my wife to trust me back..
Vietnam relationship is not an easy game to play.
It really takes a lot of hardship, time, effort and money to play..
But not only Viet ans Sing realtionship which i think, i would say all countries relationship also got their each individual problems.
Let me relate a real life story of a vietnamese lady whom my wife met at the void deck of my block. The vietnamese lady stays in a rented room in the same block as my family. initially, the viet lady told my wife that her husband, who is is his mid-40s, is very stingy and treats her badly. So she is seperated from him and is asking for divorce. After a few meetings and she finally told my wife the real reason is that she wants to have the right to stay in Singapore for the longer period. So after she got PR, she decided to leave her husband as she wants to stay in singapore to earn money and also want to bring her Viet bf over to singapore too. This is a all too common game played by vietnamese ladies nowadays.
Bro, i wish to know if your wife is a vietnamese. If vietnamese, how long have u been married to her? Have u stayed in Vietnam for a period of time to understand their culture? Yes, there may be a possibility that the old man is sick and terrible, but the chances of the viet gal doing things that led the man to lose his trust in her is even higher.
I've married for 2 years, i been to her hometown to stay before but not for long. Been there 2 times, each 1 week only.
The guys there is really hopeless, either jobless, living off woman, beating their wife etc..
And which i think Viet gals are more clever than the man because they will be learning more how to cheat other people's money and many more things.
Me and my wife always quarrel and till the verge of divorce, but only till when our little boy came out to this world, everything change to the better.
I've seen a lot of Viet/Sing couples in Singapore, I also know that some of them have their Viet bf or even Sing bf. I also know 1 of them which her wife got 2 or more bf though married and with children. There are too much examples out there..
If given a choice to me now, i would not chose to get married also. Marriage had really pull down my career whereas my career is going higher and higher. Family commitment in terms of time and money really made me exhausted.
Where still got so much time to help people? Just that i've promise my wife that if i've the time, i try to find out how to help her friend a bit lor. But if really ask me to put in time to help. Who would help my financials if just because i help people and made myself into financial crisis. I still have to run my business.
I bet a lots of Viet/Sing Couples is facing a lots of problems also. My wife's friend is also filing for divorce. So sad whereas their son just pass 1 year old. The most pitiful one is still children.
Let me relate a real life story of a vietnamese lady whom my wife met at the void deck of my block. The vietnamese lady stays in a rented room in the same block as my family. initially, the viet lady told my wife that her husband, who is is his mid-40s, is very stingy and treats her badly. So she is seperated from him and is asking for divorce. After a few meetings and she finally told my wife the real reason is that she wants to have the right to stay in Singapore for the longer period. So after she got PR, she decided to leave her husband as she wants to stay in singapore to earn money and also want to bring her Viet bf over to singapore too. This is a all too common game played by vietnamese ladies nowadays.
My wife's friend didn't even apply for a PR, but she wanted to get a divorce now, only dun have the vitamin M to apply.
I would just tell my wife which bro deptrai4u said. The 3 choices for her and that's the end of my part. I wouldn't want to get involve too much time into their problems..
To me, I think that it is not so simple to pass a judgment that says He is BAD and SHE is the VICTIM.
In the very first place, nobody force her to marry an ugly old man. Is also her negligence for not conducting sufficient due diligence before signing the contract if all the above is true. But if she was really in a hurry to marry this old rich ugly dying man and jump into it without much consideration, then think of what kind of situation she is in before she married that old ugly dying man.
Next, you need to also know what has she done before that makes him not trust her. This young girl may have other young bf that this old man knows about. Imagine if you are that old man, you will be quite generous if you had even let her go out with her friend and have some time on her own.
S$50 per day... her conditions previously in Vietnam could be a S$50 per week if she is lucky, otherwise S$50 per 2 weeks is more likely the case.
Eating crab... if she has all the rice, meat and vege to eat to her heart's content but crab is just not part of the deal.. then that old man must be quite a miser, however it not a crime being a miser. But think of it this way.. old man must have thought that she is not worth investing so much money for some good reasons that he has. It is therefore her job to work into the trust of her old man and convince him to give her more luxury. Most old man at 60 have been thru life and can usually see more in life than just money. They usually have a plan or a reason to behave in such a manner.
Many viet woman who marries a viet man, eventually also ended up divorce becos the men they married simply is a useless bump who does not work, take drugs, feed on wife's money and squandered on other girls.... Many viet woman who married China men or Taiwan men, ended up going back with them and working in the farm and at night the brothers, uncles etc take turns to sleep with her... she is much better off staying in vietnam. Your wife (I guess is also a viet) whom you marry and whom you treated her very well, is very lucky woman and she really have to thanks her lucky stars for you. But that does NOT entitle her friend to have the same good fate! Life is unfair, right from the moment you were born. And there is just nothing we can do about it but live with it and make the best out of it.
Finally, as you can think she is pitiful... does she really needs your help in any way? or are you just acting without her consent? If she really wants your help or anyone's help to get out of the situation, then its simple.. ask her to choose 1 of the following:
1. Leave him and go back to where she came from exactly the same way she was before and not ask for anything or money from old man.
2. Proceed with divorce which she will be entitled 50% of old man's asset and then she can choose to live life the way she wants in Singapore or Vietnam...
3. Continue life the way it is now with that miser old ugly dying man and keep complaining and be miserable.
You ask her to choose... and you will know what she is made of.
I am making the above comments in the fairest way I can.. with sufficient knowledge of the Vietnamese language, culture and experience.
very agreed to what you describe above even myself cun afford to buy crads for myself to eat and getting $50 dollar a day is way much more better than other, i guess she not that pity after all, no offend just share some views.
I've married for 2 years, i been to her hometown to stay before but not for long. Been there 2 times, each 1 week only.
The guys there is really hopeless, either jobless, living off woman, beating their wife etc..
And which i think Viet gals are more clever than the man because they will be learning more how to cheat other people's money and many more things.
Me and my wife always quarrel and till the verge of divorce, but only till when our little boy came out to this world, everything change to the better.
I've seen a lot of Viet/Sing couples in Singapore, I also know that some of them have their Viet bf or even Sing bf. I also know 1 of them which her wife got 2 or more bf though married and with children. There are too much examples out there..
If given a choice to me now, i would not chose to get married also. Marriage had really pull down my career whereas my career is going higher and higher. Family commitment in terms of time and money really made me exhausted.
Where still got so much time to help people? Just that i've promise my wife that if i've the time, i try to find out how to help her friend a bit lor. But if really ask me to put in time to help. Who would help my financials if just because i help people and made myself into financial crisis. I still have to run my business.
I bet a lots of Viet/Sing Couples is facing a lots of problems also. My wife's friend is also filing for divorce. So sad whereas their son just pass 1 year old. The most pitiful one is still children.
So guys, please play safely!! haha
Looking back, if given the chance again, i may not marry a vietnamese at all. It took me more than US$20,000, time of 12 months, and more than 50 times of travelling between HCMC and my wife's province to get the marriage certificate. After that, it took another 6 months to settle the singapore side. All these was because of a complicated background of my wife and her greedy mother. Many times, my wife and I argued till we really want to be seperated. Its the thought of my twin daughters that made me stay on and endure. 5 years on, i am glad that my wife has changed and has become understanding of the whole situation ever since she came back with me to Singapore in mid-2006.
So bros, do think twice about marrying a vietnamese. Its not as simple as u think.
To me, I think that it is not so simple to pass a judgment that says He is BAD and SHE is the VICTIM.
............
Finally, as you can think she is pitiful... does she really needs your help in any way? or are you just acting without her consent? If she really wants your help or anyone's help to get out of the situation, then its simple.. ask her to choose 1 of the following:
1. Leave him and go back to where she came from exactly the same way she was before and not ask for anything or money from old man.
2. Proceed with divorce which she will be entitled 50% of old man's asset and then she can choose to live life the way she wants in Singapore or Vietnam...
3. Continue life the way it is now with that miser old ugly dying man and keep complaining and be miserable.
You ask her to choose... and you will know what she is made of.
I am making the above comments in the fairest way I can.. with sufficient knowledge of the Vietnamese language, culture and experience.
Great post.
Absolutely agree with your sensible comments & advice.
very agreed to what you describe above even myself cun afford to buy crads for myself to eat and getting $50 dollar a day is way much more better than other, i guess she not that pity after all, no offend just share some views.
My wife just told me, the $50 everyday is not from him, but from other stall owners which he bring her to go there work. So that means he is giving her $800 per 30 days stay in Singapore only, if she happens to go back to Vietnam in the mid of the days, then the money would be forfeited, the money included her own expenses. So if she dun work, i think would be dead end for her. And she only work on weekdays and sometimes off, if I'm not wrong, should be working at a school canteen, so during school holidays, no income at all..
In Singapore here, i know there are people can't even afford to eat seafood or spent normally without stress. But if you are getting married, having a family, as a guy, you must take up the responsibilty to take care of your family. If not, must well dun get married. Be more stable in your career 1st before others come in. I also come from not a well to do family, and I'm not highly educated also. I also fight through my career life, and able to support my family. It will all depends on individual that the person will work hard or not, and progress in their work ability..
Average income for a Family/Individual in Singapore is ranging from $2000 plus to $4000. With that amount monthly, some might not be enough, but some is already very satisfied with it.
Looking back, if given the chance again, i may not marry a vietnamese at all. It took me more than US$20,000, time of 12 months, and more than 50 times of travelling between HCMC and my wife's province to get the marriage certificate. After that, it took another 6 months to settle the singapore side. All these was because of a complicated background of my wife and her greedy mother. Many times, my wife and I argued till we really want to be seperated. Its the thought of my twin daughters that made me stay on and endure. 5 years on, i am glad that my wife has changed and has become understanding of the whole situation ever since she came back with me to Singapore in mid-2006.
So bros, do think twice about marrying a vietnamese. Its not as simple as u think.
Hey Bro, me and you are almost in the same boat. Mine also because of my son, in which when i look around at my wife's friends who is married to Singapore also. I think I'm very good already, able to give her what she wants, which is affordable to me, supporting her family all these years. So what's there to complain? Some of the people in Singapore may not even lead a good life as her now..
Everyday work so hard, stress for my business. What can i get back in the end? If were to support her family all the way, and helping them periodically which i think all bros who have Viet wifes will confirm encounter, her family own people money, family sick need money etc..
I can only know 1 thing, if i were to know this before i married, i think that would be a totally different story. Maybe i have excel in my career life even further.
To all bros, please dun treat your marriage like a game. Especially you do not know your partner much..
Loving 1 person and living together is a toally different thing in real life..
During this period of time, get to know this old man. He is really what the gal describe, he really sucks.. Irritating, is the words i can describe..
Here comes the happiest part, got him to change car and earn a bit money out from there.. Though it is not a lot, but definately he bought his car more expensive than mine though we had the same new car.
Even the car salesman also cannot tahan him, he is damn cannot make it type and irritating somemore..
The gal already went back to Vietnam, and she had vioce out that she would be coming back without letting the old man knows about it and find a new guy or maybe into a working gal if no choice, rather than to stick with him..
Hope the best to that gal..
But now the problem is how is she going to divorce later and re married again? Just my thinking... Not my problem anymore...
Better spend more time on my business as the economy now is so bad now, and my sales had drop a lot.. Or maybe just close shop for a period of time before contining, haha!! Have a short break!! Have a kit kat!!
since this has nothing to do with sex I dont think this is a proper forum to discuss this issue. Anyway there are alot of people in the same boat. Its really difficult to want to help everyone.
Average income for a Family/Individual in Singapore is ranging from $2000 plus to $4000. With that amount monthly, some might not be enough, but some is already very satisfied with it.
Average income for Singaporean is around S$ 1000.00 (clerk) till S$ 3000.00 (Management).
Daily pay around S$ 50.00 - 80.00.
Provided she works at S$ 50.00/Day, its kinda average comparing to a Singaporean. (In Vietnam, you only earns aronud S$ 300.00/Month (Office))
Marrying a guy 40 years older than you is already some trick you have set inorder to gain what you want eventually.
Maybe the hubby knows that the Viet girl's motive? (Divorce after certain time inorder to gain PR? Thats the only reason you will marry a 60 years old)
Maybe its their deal before they have the marriage?
Anyway, it take 2 hands to clap, she accepted marriage so she have to endure, meanwhile, can just file police report if violent involved in the family
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15-05-2008, 05:40 PM
