How do you know if a girlfriend is a wife material? Is pre-nup a dealbreaker for you?

[HelloAngel]

Originally Posted by sunhuan-con

A too strong and Independent woman is definitely not a wife material . She wont cook , wash , take care and respect you and parents.

I beg to differ. A woman may need to be strong and independent at work cos she holds a managerial position and needs to show leadership at work. But at home, she can be 小女人. I have friends who have strong and independent personalities but enjoy a great marriage. Why? Cos there is mutual respect, trust and they share similar values as a couple. They also enjoy good relationship with their inlaws which again boils down to respect and good communication.

But I am a traditional girl at heart. I feel a wife must be able to cook, wash and clean even though some will say it's maid duties. But the food cooked by a maid n a wife is different cos one is cooked with love for the family while the other cooks cos it's her jobscope.

[topcook1]

Originally Posted by HelloAngel

I beg to differ. A woman may need to be strong and independent at work cos she holds a managerial position and needs to show leadership at work. But at home, she can be 小女人. I have friends who have strong and independent personalities but enjoy a great marriage. Why? Cos there is mutual respect, trust and they share similar values as a couple. They also enjoy good relationship with their inlaws which again boils down to respect and good communication.

But I am a traditional girl at heart. I feel a wife must be able to cook, wash and clean even though some will say it's maid duties. But the food cooked by a maid n a wife is different cos one is cooked with love for the family while the other cooks cos it's her jobscope.

Not all career woman thinks like you . You are perhaps a gems. Feminism is very strong nowadays , Woman wont give in much to a guy as the laws protects them .

[randyrockhard]

Thank you all for the feedback. I really appreciate it.

As of today, I am still working my way to get out of the situation. There is only one way for me, that is to be successful.

Interestingly enough, she was a bit subtle in giving me a hint, that I technically do not possess all of the 5 qualities of her ideal husband-to-be.

1. Kind
2. Loving
3. Financially Stable
4. Taking care of his health
5. Good-looking

Only time would tell if we are meant for each other, because I know very well.. I myself, have to become somebody that I am proud of. With or without her.

[Doomas]

Abt the prenup, it all depends on the content. Some initial and not fully fleshed out thoughts:

If she wants spousal support, then I would shove it. If she is that capable, why should she ask for spousal support, unless she is going to give up her career and take care of you full time.

If it is about division of assets following divorce, then you will have to see if it's reasonable. It is also an opportunity for both parties to protect their assets. If she wants the house, the car, the dog, your balls, then forget it. She's not being totally serious about you.

Then you also have to look at grounds. If the consequences for divorce will decidedly emasculate you, then you are screwed. Refuse and she will say wah, you want to fuck around and have your cake too. Accede and you are really royally fucked if you do fuck around...and get caught.

While it may seem like a sour fruit stuck in your throat, it also makes things clearer post-divorce and avoids fugly drama. And that's not the end of the story. If either party refuses to honour the terms of the prenup, then suing for enforcement is another lengthy and painful affair.

While there are indeed supporting considerations for and against prenups, and I'm certainly not against them, personally I rather not have them. Kinda spoils the romance too, knowing there's always a sword hanging over your head. And men being men, most of us do want to fuck around. That's a fact of life, no matter how much sugar you wrap it in.

Originally Posted by randyrockhard

Thank you all for the feedback. I really appreciate it.

As of today, I am still working my way to get out of the situation. There is only one way for me, that is to be successful.

Interestingly enough, she was a bit subtle in giving me a hint, that I technically do not possess all of the 5 qualities of her ideal husband-to-be.

1. Kind
2. Loving
3. Financially Stable
4. Taking care of his health
5. Good-looking

Only time would tell if we are meant for each other, because I know very well.. I myself, have to become somebody that I am proud of. With or without her.

[Ocarddoll]

Love can be blind but take a step back to see the whole situation. I will ask this few question myself.

1. Do you want kids and she want kids?
2. Career/job take precedence over family?
3. Are you a person that required more support from her?


From your description, she is definitely very independent and very strong character. Career minded and priority might be career over family.

I do agree some folks here that some women have dual-character but from your description, she remain kinda of consistent.

So in other words, do you have a strong ego to be much more successful or you dont mind living under her shadow and be the "小男人". Nothing wrong, I know friends that have wife much more successful and the hubby the one who took care of the kids, cook and etc. If its works for both, why not?

Note after marriage whether pre-nuptial agreement or not, if still kid-less, I think still fine to get a divorced, the only hassle is the monetary thingy but when you have kids it is totally different story. The kids will suffer more as they do not understand the split and I believe imho in longer run does not help a kids growth.

Note I feel a relationship is a two-way thingy not one-way. If one-way, one fine day, the part who always give will get very tired. Her wish list of hubby to be I feel also funny

"1. Kind
2. Loving
3. Financially Stable
4. Taking care of his health
5. Good-looking"

Does she reciprocate the above to you? (minus the good-looking, beauty in the eye of the beholder)

just my two cents worth.

[lawry]

Hard truth.
1) if you earn more and much more successful. She won't bother to mention about pre nap.
2) woman only respect man who is more capable. Someone said success is a man vigra. Down and out man usually no or little sex drive or luck.
3) woman is the biggest liar of man kind. When they say something don't believe in it 100%. They say it to sound politically correct. (My friend who is a PI said this. It's harder to catch a woman who committed adultery than man. Cause woman can hide so much better and lie too.) that's why the word - bitches.

Only advice is work hard. Find a job.

[sunhuan-con]

Originally Posted by lawry

Hard truth.
1) if you earn more and much more successful. She won't bother to mention about pre nap.
2) woman only respect man who is more capable. Someone said success is a man vigra. Down and out man usually no or little sex drive or luck.
3) woman is the biggest liar of man kind. When they say something don't believe in it 100%. They say it to sound politically correct. (My friend who is a PI said this. It's harder to catch a woman who committed adultery than man. Cause woman can hide so much better and lie too.) that's why the word - bitches.

Only advice is work hard. Find a job.

Dont ever believes what a woman or bitches says......

[HelloAngel]

Originally Posted by lawry

Hard truth.
1) if you earn more and much more successful. She won't bother to mention about pre nap.
2) woman only respect man who is more capable. Someone said success is a man vigra. Down and out man usually no or little sex drive or luck.
3) woman is the biggest liar of man kind. When they say something don't believe in it 100%. They say it to sound politically correct. (My friend who is a PI said this. It's harder to catch a woman who committed adultery than man. Cause woman can hide so much better and lie too.) that's why the word - bitches.

Only advice is work hard. Find a job.

Hmm... I have never lied to my partner. Reason is because I might have difficulty remembering what lie I told him and end up speaking the truth instead and he may think I am lying! Lol. Whether he likes it or not, I just tell him the truth. Don't like also too bad as things are just what it is.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by HelloAngel

Hmm... I have never lied to my partner. Reason is because I might have difficulty remembering what lie I told him and end up speaking the truth instead and he may think I am lying! Lol. Whether he likes it or not, I just tell him the truth. Don't like also too bad as things are just what it is.

One need to tell 10 lies to cover 1 lie...

[lawry]

Originally Posted by HelloAngel

Hmm... I have never lied to my partner. Reason is because I might have difficulty remembering what lie I told him and end up speaking the truth instead and he may think I am lying! Lol. Whether he likes it or not, I just tell him the truth. Don't like also too bad as things are just what it is.

When you say never lie to your partner. This statement is already a lie. All partners lied to each other regarding income, bonus, quick coffee with ex, sexual fantasy, orgasm, secret admire to some k-pop etc, some festish hobby, white lie so that he don't fight with what your dad/mom says about him etc..

Lying is part of one's evil soul.

[HelloAngel]

Originally Posted by lawry

When you say never lie to your partner. This statement is already a lie. All partners lied to each other regarding income, bonus, quick coffee with ex, sexual fantasy, orgasm, secret admire to some k-pop etc, some festish hobby, white lie so that he don't fight with what your dad/mom says about him etc..

Lying is part of one's evil soul.

He knows my income and bonus as I showed him my income tax statement as he don't believe I pay so minimal taxes. I tell him when I meet up with my exes and he is fine with that. In fact, I tell him many things as I don't see a need to hide. Like I said, if he asks, I tell him. If he doesn't and I don't say, it doesn't mean I am lying to him right? Each relationship is different, some tell lies in order not to hurt the other party, some tell lies to protect the relationship, etc... No right or wrong. Every couple is different.

[localguylor]

Originally Posted by sunhuan-con

A too strong and Independent woman is definitely not a wife material . She wont cook , wash , take care and respect you and parents.

A "strong and Independent woman" is not for any normal guy u can find on the street. U need to be the REAL man to deserves such a special lady. If you r not the REAL man. even if u married her, she will leave u for sure. However If u happened to be her REAL man. Believe me, u will be those successfully man.

She won't cook. But she is willing to cook for u.

She wont wash. But she will must sure a there is a washing machine at home.

She will not show she is taking care of u. But she will definitely back u up all the way from behind.

If she wont respect your parent it is because your parent did not respect her in the first place.

[thewildone]

Why are you looking for wife material when you cannot even afford a hooker?

[Estella]

Originally Posted by localguylor

A "strong and Independent woman" is not for any normal guy u can find on the street. U need to be the REAL man to deserves such a special lady. If you r not the REAL man. even if u married her, she will leave u for sure. However If u happened to be her REAL man. Believe me, u will be those successfully man.

She won't cook. But she is willing to cook for u.

She wont wash. But she will must sure a there is a washing machine at home.

She will not show she is taking care of u. But she will definitely back u up all the way from behind.

If she wont respect your parent it is because your parent did not respect her in the first place.

Well said.

[Babarella]

Originally Posted by dickheadhunter

not funny lah GAN NI NA CHAO FAGGOT try telling that to your LAOBU and see if she agrees with you.

You can also tell that to your VIRGIN FAGGOT PARTNER.

I hope fellow forumers will report this nick for being a troll.