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Re: Gers Are Still Gers
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Originally Posted by MoonBlaze
Like the case of picking the place/food to dine/eat, ask her where. If she say anything will do, then you suggest and get her to agree. Later she complain, tell her she already agreeded what. Next time, tell her to suggest.
Choosing a "right" partner is important especially after all the "honeymoon period" is over. Shortcomings of each other starts to appear and problem will arise. These are testing moments of the relationship, pass it you will move forward, fail it move on with life.
Cheer up and Good luck!!
Bro, some of us had spent years to undersand a gal, on the day we signed on the dotted line, we thought we had found our soul mate but alas that is the time to begin a new chapter of understanding again. Sometimes lifestyle is a quarrels triggering factor. If the both of you come from different walks of life then the difference will be magnified.
Such as the gal use to have mummy or maid to take of daily needs but when she married to you, you think she will lift a finger?? Yes, I do agree some will change but no all and may take an substanstial time. Things like the shower foam, when near empty, it is definetly difficult to pump it up, adding a little water to dilute will solve this problem but she choose to throw away, reason being cannot pump, throw, add water too diluted, no point using, throw. This apply to every single darn bottle you have at home. So you tell me what will you think??
Honestly, I am surprise that some guys excel in terms of doing housework, they are not train but more like "force". Why? The wife cannot handle it at all. Simple thing like ironing etc, they cant even do it properly let alone whipping up a decent meal. Husband and wife both work as hard, comes home and wife take a shower and stick to the TV while hubby finishes up the dishes from last night dinner. Ask her to do, she said she is tired from work, let's leave other housework till weekend. When weekend comes, she say work so hard for a week already, weekend take rest also cannot. So where is the balancing point?
I feel that nowadays the meaning of marriage is wearing thin, more like a COE, just give you a status with not concrete value behind it. Nevertheless, of course there are wonderful couples living happily.
Bro, some of us had spent years to undersand a gal, on the day we signed on the dotted line, we thought we had found our soul mate but alas that is the time to begin a new chapter of understanding again. Sometimes lifestyle is a quarrels triggering factor. If the both of you come from different walks of life then the difference will be magnified.
Such as the gal use to have mummy or maid to take of daily needs but when she married to you, you think she will lift a finger?? Yes, I do agree some will change but no all and may take an substanstial time. Things like the shower foam, when near empty, it is definetly difficult to pump it up, adding a little water to dilute will solve this problem but she choose to throw away, reason being cannot pump, throw, add water too diluted, no point using, throw. This apply to every single darn bottle you have at home. So you tell me what will you think??
Honestly, I am surprise that some guys excel in terms of doing housework, they are not train but more like "force". Why? The wife cannot handle it at all. Simple thing like ironing etc, they cant even do it properly let alone whipping up a decent meal. Husband and wife both work as hard, comes home and wife take a shower and stick to the TV while hubby finishes up the dishes from last night dinner. Ask her to do, she said she is tired from work, let's leave other housework till weekend. When weekend comes, she say work so hard for a week already, weekend take rest also cannot. So where is the balancing point?
I feel that nowadays the meaning of marriage is wearing thin, more like a COE, just give you a status with not concrete value behind it. Nevertheless, of course there are wonderful couples living happily.
Haha, I take it that u are refering to SG gals? Sure that's life here. That's why I find myself attracted more to non-SG gals, after a few ex's in SG and a bad dream of so called long-term r/s. Finally I decided that I am going elsewhere to find that special person I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I found her early this year - ironically someone I already met almost 2 yrs earlier.
Now I think I am blessed. Whenever I go fortnightly to be with my gal (whom I planned to marry next year if circumstances permit), I am not even allowed to do housework! Can't even lift a broom; so I help by shifting table/chairs around while she sweeps. No washing of dishes or clothes (except my own underwear - she dun know why but her mum says cannot). Ironing? Yep, not my job too . Anyway she does a far better job than me. Limited to going to buy food cos the old condo doesn;t allow cooking, but I think we will probably do some cooking in our new apartment. Dun think there will be much chances to do this, cos she has her apparels and accessories shop opening this week, but we will try as often as practical cos I enjoy cooking. I can never imagine housework can be thereupratic until I met this woman. She actually does housework to wind-down after a hard day! Nothing pleases her more than I sit down and read my papers/watch tv after a whole day out with her while she potters about cleaning up the home. Suits me fine .
In SG society generally women are seen themselves as being equal to men in status. For me that is not a good basis for a stable equation. Complementing becomes competition. All too often a typicall expects to be serve by the guy wooing her, and when she asked for your opinion, it better be the same as hers. If not, she will get you to finally do it her way anyway. So much for respect for her man. Of course there are exceptions, but I seldome come across them. Either I am just plain unlucky or the odds of meeting them is really small.
For my case with my non-SG gal, she sees herself as below me and submits willingly (cos that;s what her mum do to her dad), while I see myself as responsible for her wellbeing and her submissiveness made it so much easir and motivating to love and care for her. It is good to know for sure that when she asked me to decide on something, my opinion counts 100%. But I must say that for someone like, I must take extra care never to take her for granted. It is her way of expressing her love for me, and as I love her, I will never abuse her submissives.
__________________ Heaven on Earth - to be connected in heart, mind & body
I feel that nowadays the meaning of marriage is wearing thin, more like a COE, just give you a status with not concrete value behind it. Nevertheless, of course there are wonderful couples living happily.
Marriage not that necessary. Most impt thing is being happy with the girl you like. Besides, too ex to get married in singapore. piangzzzzzz
Haha, I take it that u are refering to SG gals? Sure that's life here. That's why I find myself attracted more to non-SG gals, after a few ex's in SG and a bad dream of so called long-term r/s. Finally I decided that I am going elsewhere to find that special person I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I found her early this year - ironically someone I already met almost 2 yrs earlier.
Now I think I am blessed. Whenever I go fortnightly to be with my gal (whom I planned to marry next year if circumstances permit), I am not even allowed to do housework! Can't even lift a broom; so I help by shifting table/chairs around while she sweeps. No washing of dishes or clothes (except my own underwear - she dun know why but her mum says cannot). Ironing? Yep, not my job too . Anyway she does a far better job than me. Limited to going to buy food cos the old condo doesn;t allow cooking, but I think we will probably do some cooking in our new apartment. Dun think there will be much chances to do this, cos she has her apparels and accessories shop opening this week, but we will try as often as practical cos I enjoy cooking. I can never imagine housework can be thereupratic until I met this woman. She actually does housework to wind-down after a hard day! Nothing pleases her more than I sit down and read my papers/watch tv after a whole day out with her while she potters about cleaning up the home. Suits me fine .
In SG society generally women are seen themselves as being equal to men in status. For me that is not a good basis for a stable equation. Complementing becomes competition. All too often a typicall expects to be serve by the guy wooing her, and when she asked for your opinion, it better be the same as hers. If not, she will get you to finally do it her way anyway. So much for respect for her man. Of course there are exceptions, but I seldome come across them. Either I am just plain unlucky or the odds of meeting them is really small.
For my case with my non-SG gal, she sees herself as below me and submits willingly (cos that;s what her mum do to her dad), while I see myself as responsible for her wellbeing and her submissiveness made it so much easir and motivating to love and care for her. It is good to know for sure that when she asked me to decide on something, my opinion counts 100%. But I must say that for someone like, I must take extra care never to take her for granted. It is her way of expressing her love for me, and as I love her, I will never abuse her submissives.
i m never goin to be a submissive woman to ne guy...i rather not get married
wow.. thanks guys...
guess the silent treatment won't work on her... it failed once...
i guess i might have to talk to her about how i feel tomorrow.
she belongs to the 'moodswing nagging' type... sometimes, she's nice... sometimes, drives me mad... sometimes nagging... but so far as i can tell, she's pretty commited to me thou. i just can't stand the way she complains.
hmmm... overall, i find that she might be a good mother... :P
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Re: Gers Are Still Gers
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Originally Posted by free
Haha, I take it that u are refering to SG gals? Sure that's life here. That's why I find myself attracted more to non-SG gals, after a few ex's in SG and a bad dream of so called long-term r/s. Finally I decided that I am going elsewhere to find that special person I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I found her early this year - ironically someone I already met almost 2 yrs earlier.
In SG society generally women are seen themselves as being equal to men in status. For me that is not a good basis for a stable equation. Complementing becomes competition. All too often a typicall expects to be serve by the guy wooing her, and when she asked for your opinion, it better be the same as hers. If not, she will get you to finally do it her way anyway. So much for respect for her man. Of course there are exceptions, but I seldome come across them. Either I am just plain unlucky or the odds of meeting them is really small.
For my case with my non-SG gal, she sees herself as below me and submits willingly (cos that;s what her mum do to her dad), while I see myself as responsible for her wellbeing and her submissiveness made it so much easir and motivating to love and care for her. It is good to know for sure that when she asked me to decide on something, my opinion counts 100%. But I must say that for someone like, I must take extra care never to take her for granted. It is her way of expressing her love for me, and as I love her, I will never abuse her submissives.
Bro, I know about your current relationship. When I was reading about it makes me feel that true love is still around. Keep it up bro.
In SG, generally I find them wanting the equal rights of a man but the benefits of the weaker sex as well. Well, that is not too bad but the attitude they treat man, I would beg to differ. When once into a relationship, things get sticky, with pretty unreasonable demands, funny insulting remarks to even hurling personal abuses. Oh and yes, they resort to violence when she cant seems to wriggle her way out. Yes, she will slap you hard on the face or throw punches at you. You can run away but later she’ll cry foul and say you dump her there all alone, or if you block, mind you – BLOCK: Raising your hand in defense, she’ll still cry that you hit her because of the bruises on her arm. So where does this leads you to??? No man land again.
What do we expect out of marriage or relationship??? Sex? Maid? Partner and soul mate for life? Actually it is none of the above but also all of the above. Why? Loving each other brings them together, wanting to spend their rest of life together leads them to marriage but hold on first, we are living in the real world. Just because of love then no need for bread and butter, because of love the house will be spick and span, because of love, suddenly all become great love maker? I doubt so, all the above is part of the package that comes free of charge when you sign your life away. I am am not expecting the woman to do all the work or even as much as I do but perhaps an effort to do so will be appreciated at least.
Compromising is not submissive; it is just a word we use when we have no other choice for options. To give in is submissive, then someone please tell me what is obedient then?
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Re: Gers Are Still Gers
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Originally Posted by blurqueen12
i m never goin to be a submissive woman to ne guy...i rather not get married
Miss, ask yourself, what is submissive? Who wants a submissive wife or GF, might as well I get a maid, still a woman, tell her go left wont turn right, tell her sit down wont stand up. We are adults, know what is right and wrong, when to do what or say what, treat others with respect and be more understanding then I guess we can enjoy a better relationship.
We don’t need the wife to bring us the paper and slipper when we are home, don’t even expect three dish one soup laid on the table for dinner due to her work commitments but perhaps the basic courtesy in communication is not too much to ask for. What do we man look for in a partner? Someone who is independent, understanding and brilliant in handling us. Trust me, if you can rub our ego and pride in the right way, bring out “I am your hero” feeling in men, then this man will die for you.
Things like the shower foam, when near empty, it is definetly difficult to pump it up, adding a little water to dilute will solve this problem but she choose to throw away, reason being cannot pump, throw, add water too diluted, no point using, throw. This apply to every single darn bottle you have at home. So you tell me what will you think??
How come I find this scenario so familiar???
Quote:
Simple thing like ironing etc, they cant even do it properly let alone whipping up a decent meal. Husband and wife both work as hard, comes home and wife take a shower and stick to the TV while hubby finishes up the dishes from last night dinner. Ask her to do, she said she is tired from work, let's leave other housework till weekend. When weekend comes, she say work so hard for a week already, weekend take rest also cannot. So where is the balancing point?
Haha, this I have to disagree. At least I'm fortunate enough not to suffer from this.
For my case with my non-SG gal, she sees herself as below me and submits willingly (cos that;s what her mum do to her dad), while I see myself as responsible for her wellbeing and her submissiveness made it so much easir and motivating to love and care for her.
Then someone like blurqueen12 is definitely not suitable for you.
What do we expect out of marriage or relationship??? Sex? Maid? Partner and soul mate for life? Actually it is none of the above but also all of the above. Why? Loving each other brings them together, wanting to spend their rest of life together leads them to marriage but hold on first, we are living in the real world.
*applaud* Brother, I didn't know you could be so serious. You're always going "Hoi!" here, "Hoi!" there, but when it comes to serious discussions, you really show your mettle!
Haha, this I have to disagree. At least I'm fortunate enough not to suffer from this.
Tomahawk
Bro, thenyou should treasure this someone who is willing to do all this for you. May she be your mum, GF, or wife. At least she puts in the effort and I guess you should do your part as well.
Bro, thenyou should treasure this someone who is willing to do all this for you. May she be your mum, GF, or wife. At least she puts in the effort and I guess you should do your part as well.
Yah, I do put in my part for housework. We share it between us. I do treasure her for who she is and for the companionship, for her willingness to stand by me when I'm down. But I still can't pull myself off other girls, either by way of paid services or by sianing people I meet. I want to, but I can't do it. Xin you yu er li bu zu...
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Re: Gers Are Still Gers
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Originally Posted by Tomahawk
Yah, I do put in my part for housework. We share it between us. I do treasure her for who she is and for the companionship, for her willingness to stand by me when I'm down. But I still can't pull myself off other girls, either by way of paid services or by sianing people I meet. I want to, but I can't do it. Xin you yu er li bu zu...
Tomahawk
Continue trying, at the end of the day, the one who stand by you are the pple who really care about you.
05-08-2004, 06:36 PM
. Anyway she does a far better job than me. Limited to going to buy food cos the old condo doesn;t allow cooking, but I think we will probably do some cooking in our new apartment. Dun think there will be much chances to do this, cos she has her apparels and accessories shop opening this week, but we will try as often as practical cos I enjoy cooking. I can never imagine housework can be thereupratic until I met this woman. She actually does housework to wind-down after a hard day! Nothing pleases her more than I sit down and read my papers/watch tv after a whole day out with her while she potters about cleaning up the home. Suits me fine 
. 
Re: Gers Are Still Gers
