Gers Are Still Gers

[_AXL_]

Originally Posted by Derelict

So bro AXL. A woman can forgive but never forget. Well... you're acting like one now. There is a damn good reason why man are supposed to forget things easily while never learn to forgive. Because thats what we are build for isnt it? So, just move on and ask us what will help you strengten your current relationship. Fark the old one to hell. Dont forgive but learn to be a man and forget her. Hope you dont mind me going strong on this one mate.

Always your friend.

sorry for not replying earlier (was drunk) and while u were writing this, out of coincidence, i posted mine. took a day off today, to go send my car to the new owner, to go to singtel to cancel the line i have applied for her, to go to M1 to change a new number for myself. just bco of 1 thing, she said last nite that i should never discount the fact that one day, we might end up together again. over my dead body, i said. this time round, i m going to forget totally, as if she has never appeared in my life before. photos to be thrown, family portraits to be taken again, things that she bought, stuff in my room that reminds me of her, everything in the big black bin. i m going to concentrate on who i have now, but i do not know how successful i will be. but i will try...

finally, thanks for your concern. your words hurt, as it is supposed to be. but rest assured i felt the genuine concern. i'll see how kimchi rates me as a sgrean lover then... when we meet up...

[jng1103]

Originally Posted by Derelict

Another example. Female colleagues, how often do they challenge you on the food matters let alone office issues? Lets check the answers posted by our own fellow members shall we? Look at jng1103 reply herein. Look at Surfer reply herein. Notice they are going out with locals (besides their missus) for a good time. Hey, arent them demon's incarnate?

Yes, I'm with a local hiddem gem. As a matter of fact, I've been disgruntled and making harsh remarks on the locals and thanks GOD, she catches the hints and never shown any traits of the locals. I even cursed the locals in front of her parents whenever I spotted spoilt brats in public places.

Originally Posted by Derelict

Okay, before you lable me as dickless cunt that glorify in the local women's charter. I want to share with you brethrens why some of our local well to do lasses are seeking life partners beyond our local shores. My sis is married to a Swiss. One cousin married to an Australian sweetheart while another is wedded to a Canadian. All have kids and all residing in Singapore. None suffering the dilemma spoken.

I hv a feeling that u aint a lad nor chinese but that's not important. We've seen many cross-continental marriages, be it foreign brides or grooms, they all seeking for the Mr/Ms Right. And I dont have any problems with that... As a matter of fact, I myself is one of them (not continental but crossway)

Originally Posted by Derelict

Asked them last week why they chose foreigner over ours. All of them replied the freaking same answer.. Singaporeans not good lover. They seem self-centred and not sensitive enough. Mind you I asked those questions privately.

This debate will lead to nowhere. Let's not get there, shall we?

Originally Posted by Derelict

How did they worked them answer up. Can anyone explain? I sure cant since I dont have local steady as a backup. Is there a conspiracy going on against the local guys that we dont know about? Is that why they are giving the locals a hard time. We can never find the answer with only hearing one side of it.

Again, the topic is "gers" not "boys". Perhaps those auntie agony's forum such as sgbrides serve the purpose.

jimbo

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Derelict

Regarding my posts herein. After rereading it I found it to be somewhat funny. Funny as in, there I was trying to give examples of how I made my relationship work hopefully to last the test of time and to pin a few points here and there in realizing what a man should do... it was pretty broad but you get the gists of it. Does Derelict know the nuts and bolts about relationship? If it worked for me I dont see why it shouldnt for you. How it might work for you, I dont really know since I am neither your therapist nor your friend in realife. The end result is how you make do with the information given. Try to adapt it for your own.

Because if your argument states that mine is very much bias towards japanese, than I suggest throwing away all those guide books written by westerners. I doubt those apply to singaporean girls as well. Heehehe. A joke there. Anyways, what I meant to say is adapt it for your own result.

Anyways.

To the mature readers. If whatever you have done seems to hit the wall. Why not try something new. If it works it works if it doesnt than find another. Just remember to make the best of it.

I think what I have written regarding a)listening and b)understanding will go a long way in strengthening of your relationship.

Regards.

fren, i understand how you feel, but sometimes life is such. there's no 10yr series answer to matters concerning the heart strings. so inevitably, what works for some may not work for others.

i'm sure we've all had our fair share of ups n downs, or should i say, we're collectively all students of "love". not many passed with distinctions, neither have many made the passing mark... especially when it applies with local chicks.

proven on occassions, some do fair pretty well with foreign chicks, and so be it. we all have our choices to make... enjoy the journey, destiny... only time will tell.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by _AXL_

......... local women, materialistic, yes. expectations of others, yes. expectations of oneself, virtually none. how did she become this way? i have had experiences like asking her what to eat and the answer would most certainly be "anything" but she would go on rattling about this place food not nice, that place fattening. then when i go on to be a man and decide for her, i would certainly face a "justice bao" treatment. ask her why the long (bloody horsey) face, i would bet my last dollar on "nothing!". how did women come to think that we men r all psychics??? i would know her every thought just by slowly touching my temples??? do i bloody look like a jedi or r u telling me that i dress like one??? why cant the women just tell us directly what they want? is it because they do not want to be the one blamed for the bad choice or is it due to the fact that they too, really have no idea at all??? or is it something that we still do not know and that it would probably take men our whole lives to fathom it? not going to work ladies, cos if men cant fathom them once we reach the boiling point, we would just give up. if ladies r only going to settle for someone who is willing to dedicate their whole lives to finding out, good for them for not settling for less and also good luck to them with finding one.

the answer? expectations. now, we can all see our mum and the woman u r going out with or married to... their expectations r entirely different!!! why is that so? since when have expectation take such a giant leap in evolution to make us all men unable to adapt??? education has a part to play, now that ladies r not dependent on men for survival, they look for emotional satisfaction and actualisation. while we men have to accept that they dont need us for survival anymore, we must also learn to respect our women as our equal. but women, like all human beings r all alike, u give them an inch, they would try to squeeze u dry. it always happen to me in relationships that i've had and i always likened it to my gf pushing me as near as possible to the edge of the cliff and see me trying to balance so as not to fall off it. is that really fun to look at, ladies??? cos i fell off quite a few times, like the nursery rhyme says, all the king's horses and all the king's men, couldnt put the big fat motherfucker back together again!!! what makes women think that after i fall off the cliff, i would survive the fall to meekly crawl back to continue the relationship??? my answer to ladies, if u cant take the consequences, dont do it. dont need to use yr nuclear bombs (tears) on me cos i m already immune to radiation!!!

and coming to self help books and those female magazines. while FHM struggles to hit 50k readership in its heydays, her world's circulation was 3 times of that and i wont be surprised that it is stil growing till this day. the best selling books these days, beside harry porter, r self help books. in sg, we r taught to believe whatever printed word there is, so as to help with the political situation and it is easier for the ruling party to control. the truth about such self-help books and magazines, they r all driven by profit. thus, how to have best-selling books and magazines??? tell people who read them what they want to hear and want to believe in!!! no one likes to be told that they r in the wrong!!! to me, this is something i m very proud to get rid of, but not many can, especially in the case of women... these writers, editors and publishers have a responsibility to control what is being written, but in the name of profit, they too turn a blind eye or even worse, they too believe in such lies. if these books and magazines r so effective, wouldnt we all be filthily rich, happily married and enjoying a fulfilling sexlife???

but i do agree that in life, we must treat our women as equals. be patient with them cos they r different from us, both physically and emotionally. listening and emphatising r 2 important factors, but it has to be both ways. if a woman wants her way all the time and do not put in the effort to also reciprocate the same way, leave. u deserve much more than putting up with it. likewise for any ladies out there who r reading this. therefore, i sincerely believe that if i cant do it myself, i would not expect others to do it as well. only when i can do it, do i expect my partner (regardless foreign or local) to do it too. that to me then, is spending our lives together.

bro, u've some very valid points here, and i offer u the thumbs up. but there're some points that i'd also like to clarify.

sg gals arent always materialistic, but its noted on many occassions that they're irrational & inclined to be idealistic. i.e.: expect the man to be the sole provider for anything/everything, while she's actually capable to splurge on less feasible ventures (eg: shopping, pedicure, menicure, hairstyling, shopping...etc)

their willingness to share the load of domestic errands/chores now seems fast diminishing, but who to be blamed? society? bad media teaching them all about luxuries in life, when making ends meet still seems a big feat to materialize - while the man tightens his pocket strings, the woman is happily splurging on things less necessary.

what then evolves from there? even motherly duties have been conveniently transfered onto the to do list of the foreign maid (which the man is coughing blood for the levy).

sg gals these days say our men are not realistic... funny it seems, bt havent we observed that while couples are still in the midst of courting, often times, the man sacrifices (does the saving up for the wedding & everything else that's to come after putting the pen to the paper), while the woman enjoys her swinging lifestyle of a bachelorette.

as much as we yearn to take the gals seriously, treat them as equals, but... its rarely the case that they've shown they deserve it.

*p.s: the above stated applies to some (fast increasing number), and not all sg gals.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by temperance

I've been skimming thru the thread and was discussing it with a girl-friend on MSN and she raised some points which I think are pretty valid.

1) Girls expect to be dined at expensive and presentable eating establishments
Her Point: It's not true. I think that food is just food. No matter how much a meal cost, at the end of the day, it's just going to end up as crap. I don't mind eating at hawker centres or coffeshops, as long as the food is good. I've had 1st dates where we've went to eat cheap delicious food at hawker centres and we've had a great time. What makes up the date is not the nice restaurant or the good food. It's the company and conversation.

2) Local girls aren't willing to provide BJs for their men
Her Point: Sex isn't just about satisfying the man. Have you ever heard of how some men refuse to give cunninglingus to girls cos they think that it's unhygenic? If our pee holes are 'unhygenic', then how can you expect us to lick and suck at your pee holes without that same notion?
If you really really love blowjobs so much, then do the same for us. Chances are we'll reciprocate the favour and probably enjoy the whole process much better.

3) Gers always say "anything" and end up with black faces when you buy her just 'anything'
Her Point: If you have an idea of what to eat then don't ask us what we want to eat. How the hell do we know what to eat when I cant even decide what I wan to eat in a single foodcourt, let alone trying to guess what foods you'd like to eat? If you feel like having Jap, just say it out and we'll decide where to go. If I have something else on mind, I'll let you know and we'll see which is more feasible; e.g.: location, parking, pricing, crowd, etc.

The above are just some of the things that we've been discussing.

Hope it helps.

fren, point 1 & 3 seems to cancel each other out. point 1 says dont mind foodcourt or hawkers. but point 3 says dunno wat the hell to order in the foodcourt & hawkers. which then means, if end up eating at the foodcourt/hawkers, her response to the question will be "anything"

point 2 seems fair, i believe more guys r willing to go down on the wife/gf, and should have high success rate in satisfying her. but sadly even if she's willing to go down on her man, doesnt guarantee that she can satisfy her man. and in case u've never been snapped back... she doesnt like being told what to do, how to do. the typical response "if it aint good enough, then dont want lor"

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by _AXL_

.... yup, let's talk abuot what to eat if u want me to have a stroke and claim my insurance. tell me bros out here, m i facing this alone or r u having this problem as well??? ask the girl what she wants to eat, answer:- anything. ok, let's have jap food. ooh, i just had that yesterday for lunch. ok, what about thai? cannot, think i m coming up with an ulcer... ok, how about going for steaks? no lah! so fattening!!! u want me to get fat isit? ok, we go eat dim sum... okie!!! go restaurant see long queue, then turn to me:- see lah, all yr fault, make me feel like eating dim sum, now queue so long!!!

my questions r:

1) if she wanted to eat dim sum, why didnt she tell me earlier that she wanted to eat dim sum? (fyi, i m a rubbish bin... so long i m full, i m quite fine, but i do go out of my way to get good food with appreciative company)

2) do i look like i know that the chinese restaurant was going to be crowded???

how i felt, damn stupid!!! to have rushed with my work, drove through peak hour traffic to pick her up at home, drove back to town (still peak hour traffic), get berated for taking the congested way and making her grumpy, reached town, let her off first to go shopping while i struggled feebly to rob a parking lot, racked my brains out to think of what to eat and finally get blamed for the chinese restaurant's good business. my friend, u think i still have an appetite???

fren, u r not alone. many amongst us have suffered the same turmoil, i'm sure.

the irony, when it comes to foreign chick, the response is very much different. sg spoilt with choices of food, regardless origination from any continent. and the foreign chicks hardly ever say they're bored of certain food, nor do they fuss about the fattening issues.... and they often sound off what they cannot eat eg: beef/ seafood...etc or allergies.

my inccumbent gf for example: gentleman's gesture, i ask for her opinion what she wanna eat. she let me decide, adhere to my recommendation. we settled for crystal jade kitchen. i ask her about my choice, she replies positively, and explains; food is still food, no fuss about whats fattening on the menu... even if it was a steak house, there's always something light, i.e.: salad, side dishes...etc.

dates are always alot sweeter & memorable, when the unnecessary fuss & hassles are removed from the picture... and i believe, there's always more tears of joy than sorrow, when in the context of a non-local gf.

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by Derelict

AXL: I sense a woman in you. Dont get me wrong but you seem to be swimming in your past deeds and happenstance. If you want to remember the past experience as lessons than I think thats cool since the ultimate gold is not to be in that same leaking boat again. Thus being wiser. If you are gonna remember it for the sake of wallowing than I can only say god help you and yours. Because if truth be told you might one day blow your top and might take it out on your current steady. You can say it will never happen. Well, take a good look at your post and replies. Its full of old wounds man... it seems still fresh looking.

Some wounds never heal. We just have to learn to live with the pain. I've had scars and also battlewounds that keep getting open again. More like diseases than wounds... relapse occuring periodically. No cure but bitter medicine the best treatment for temporary relief. Again, some wounds never heal.

Originally Posted by Derelict

Another example. Female colleagues, how often do they challenge you on the food matters let alone office issues? Lets check the answers posted by our own fellow members shall we? Look at jng1103 reply herein. Look at Surfer reply herein. Notice they are going out with locals (besides their missus) for a good time. Hey, arent them demon's incarnate?

I love a foreigner but married a local. I have no major complains on the locals except the usual minor gripes. Truth be told, my worst relationship ever was with a foreigner. Sometimes, the cultural divide is too much to bear... or it could be just me. Local or foreign, they are not too different... just being local does not make them bad... its the whole lot of other traits that are causing the misconception.

Originally Posted by Derelict

Asked them last week why they chose foreigner over ours. All of them replied the freaking same answer.. Singaporeans not good lover. They seem self-centred and not sensitive enough. Mind you I asked those questions privately.

How did they worked them answer up. Can anyone explain? I sure cant since I dont have local steady as a backup. Is there a conspiracy going on against the local guys that we dont know about? Is that why they are giving the locals a hard time. We can never find the answer with only hearing one side of it.

One thing that I recall my foreign exes mentioning is that the Singapore man is a good lover hence their gravitation towards us. However, in my case, lack of sensitivity is very true. I get that all the time.

Originally Posted by Derelict

So bro AXL. A woman can forgive but never forget. Well... you're acting like one now. There is a damn good reason why man are supposed to forget things easily while never learn to forgive. Because thats what we are build for isnt it? So, just move on and ask us what will help you strengten your current relationship. Fark the old one to hell. Dont forgive but learn to be a man and forget her. Hope you dont mind me going strong on this one mate.

Never forgive, never forget. To Err Is Human, To Forgive Divine... I'm no divinity.

Anton LaVey: You should love strongly and completely those who deserve your love, but never turn the other cheek to your enemy!"

[Derelict]

Originally Posted by jng1103

Yes, I'm with a local hiddem gem. As a matter of fact, I've been disgruntled and making harsh remarks on the locals and thanks GOD, she catches the hints and never shown any traits of the locals. I even cursed the locals in front of her parents whenever I spotted spoilt brats in public places.

The fact you found one says alot on behalf of the local. So not all are demon incarnate. Could it also be that she is infact your cup of tea? Could it be that she resonates the same tone as you? Whatever that may be. She is obviously to your liking. Thus I brook a question. Isnt it not that thru experience one is able to understand what one wants and know what and how to seek it? Could it also be that you happen to be totally different know in your outlook as compared to previously while tackling the locals? Hey, they did say, one grows wiser when one gets older. Thus, one happen to see young chics in older mans arm. There is something there isnt it.

As for gem... err I donno man.

Not to sure if you're married. If you are than in a way it could raise another issue in its whole or she is truly a gem or just wanna be. Only time will tell. Please keep us posted.

Originally Posted by jng1103

I hv a feeling that u aint a lad nor chinese but that's not important. We've seen many cross-continental marriages, be it foreign brides or grooms, they all seeking for the Mr/Ms Right. And I dont have any problems with that... As a matter of fact, I myself is one of them (not continental but crossway)

Lol. Cheers mate. Well, I am a lad. 3/4 chinese (indo, macau and malaysian mix and blah blah) and 1/4 Irish. Singaporean so says my pink IC. Yeah I like the Malaysians infact most of my buddies are from there. Very down to earth people, them.

Originally Posted by jng1103

This debate will lead to nowhere. Let's not get there, shall we?

The remark was regarding the posts by some of our esteem brothers. Thus it would have to venture back and forth in that regards. If you look closely its still refering to the locals. Unlike temperance reply with detail minutes. My post touch only on the surface and to highlight one of my brother's plight. IF you happen to read the context from top to bottom. It was meant for him to read and learn to let go. Because if he is still in singapore. He is gonna be facing the local cunts day in and day out. But if he gets over the demonization than he will start to learn to care and not be bothered with what was.

Originally Posted by jng1103

Again, the topic is "gers" not "boys". Perhaps those auntie agony's forum such as sgbrides serve the purpose.

Please refer to my last paragraph. If you found it difficult to grasp let me put it in simpler point form

Bradder AXL
1) local gers is local gers lor.
2) One bad apple doesnt mean all like that one.
3) If keep talking and talking about your pain hor. Only will hurt more lor.
4) If hurt ownself never mind but scared hurt your kimchi than chialat liaw how?
5) If try to forget pain and think ony about your kimchi will help lor.
6) IF you can dont lable local gers hor. Than easier on you lor.
7) Just try to think the past is bad luck like 4D. Easier like that.

Cheers.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by surfer888

...... One thing that I recall my foreign exes mentioning is that the Singapore man is a good lover hence their gravitation towards us......

hands & feet raised in agreement. its not only just hear say, its a known fact. the wonders of us singaporean men have spread far & wide. women originating from chauvenistic societies, hunt down sg men like a precious findings. women from lesser privileged regions prefer sg men over other nationalities.

i recall in some of my business travels, you can almost see the women's eyes sparkle when they know we're singaporean men, even central & western european chicks, mind you.

is it always about the leverage of our currency over others? i dont think so. there's always some richer wealthier bloke, wherever they may come from... but at the end of the day. they long for a capable man & loving husband, not necessarily an ATM.

[Derelict]

Originally Posted by _AXL_

took a day off today, to go send my car to the new owner, to go to singtel to cancel the line i have applied for her, to go to M1 to change a new number for myself. just bco of 1 thing, she said last nite that i should never discount the fact that one day, we might end up together again. over my dead body, i said. this time round, i m going to forget totally, as if she has never appeared in my life before. photos to be thrown, family portraits to be taken again, things that she bought, stuff in my room that reminds me of her, everything in the big black bin. i m going to concentrate on who i have now, but i do not know how successful i will be. but i will try...

Dammit! Thats the most positive answer from you yet. I think thats the best way to go about it. Remember its all about your happiness with your better half now.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by _AXL_

......finally, thanks for your concern. your words hurt, as it is supposed to be. but rest assured i felt the genuine concern. i'll see how kimchi rates me as a sgrean lover then... when we meet up...

fren, its time to throw away that frown, along with all the unwanted past.

start smiling & maintaining that goatie... kimchis like their men dashing & manly, yet with a sensitive heart attentive to her needs. i've a strong hunch that u'd fair pretty well in her diary.

the diet should already spice things up a few notches... gd luck!!

[_AXL_]

Originally Posted by Derelict

Dammit! Thats the most positive answer from you yet. I think thats the best way to go about it. Remember its all about your happiness with your better half now.

Good luck and keep us posted.

thanks for the wishes and good intent. hard to swallow but nevertheless, know that u meant well. niggling feeling but suspect i do know u personally after all.

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

fren, its time to throw away that frown, along with all the unwanted past.

bro suteerak1099, u'v got some heavyweight replies there. too bad i have had impt errands to run and do not have time to sit down and read them properly. i've been guilty of throwing my frustrations into this forum and especially here. took advantage of the nature of this thread

start smiling & maintaining that goatie... kimchis like their men dashing & manly, yet with a sensitive heart attentive to her needs. i've a strong hunch that u'd fair pretty well in her diary.

no goatie, tried once and looked like shit!!! decided to go back to my clean cut image. cannot look handsome or arty-farty, so stuck to neat and clean.

as for my kimchi, she made it easy by making the 1st move to show that although we have known each other for only a short time, i m very impt to her. she has conquered my head and heart, to the point that even if she makes me go through the shit i've been through, i very well will do it for her. keyword here: she is WORTH it...

the diet should already spice things up a few notches... gd luck!!

never liked korean but trying though... and i will reply u guys as soon as i've done the stuff i need to do to get my ex totally out of my life. just finished clearing my room and boy, it looks so clean and uncluttered now... my maid damn poor thing, burning photos for me now. now for the trip to the telcos and to hand over the car later. damn it guys, it works. i already feel much lighter...

[jng1103]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

hands & feet raised in agreement. its not only just hear say, its a known fact. the wonders of us singaporean men have spread far & wide. women originating from chauvenistic societies, hunt down sg men like a precious findings. women from lesser privileged regions prefer sg men over other nationalities.

i recall in some of my business travels, you can almost see the women's eyes sparkle when they know we're singaporean men, even central & western european chicks, mind you.

is it always about the leverage of our currency over others? i dont think so. there's always some richer wealthier bloke, wherever they may come from... but at the end of the day. they long for a capable man & loving husband, not necessarily an ATM.

Yes, I couldnt agree more. Sillypore men are very much sought after, if google could rank it, I bet Sillypore men are highyly "recommended" However, on the other hands, our own locals gers dump or treat us like a piece of shit... what? we are not gentlemen and romantic? oh no... I rather earn good money to buy a car and drive her around than to open a taxi door for her. So, tell me about it

Not too sure about the ATM but I tot sillyporeans are asset-rich cash-poor and "plastic" affluent? I dun know... u tell me.

jimbo

[XsteelWolf]

www.beenwatched.com HOT VIDEOS AHEAD

[yinyang]

AXL, glad to know you are past rehab now. No amount of sermonising (albeit well meaning) will see you through. No wisdom from me, but understand you'll just have to go through the gamut of your emotions, tantrums included.

Originally Posted by surfer888

..Truth be told, my worst relationship ever was with a foreigner. Sometimes, the cultural divide is too much to bear...... just being local does not make them bad... its the whole lot of other traits that are causing the misconception.

Only too familiar, story of my life

Originally Posted by surfer888

Never forgive, never forget. To Err Is Human, To Forgive Divine... I'm no divinity.

Cause and effect, what more us lesser mortals