The Departure of my ex...

[Rangers]

I went home.. feeling emotionally drained... i rang up my buddy for a drink at
a pub.. sensing my distressed voice.. he agreed to it..

Once at the ktv pub.. it is those clean pubs..

Me: bro i am tired..
Fatty; i know...
Me: dunno what i am doing...
Fatty: just realese yrself from the past.. it is torturing u...
Me: i tried but i cant... too much emotional entanglements going on... and i
am tired.. really need a rest le...

and i carried on with some of the sad songs.. songs that break my break...

Fatty; dun wallow yrself in sorrow anymore.. heard that Henson is going to intro some girls to u...
Me: i told him that i am nt keen le..
Fatty; give yrself a chance lah..
Me: no... nt insterested lah...

I am getting moody le... i know... everytime this topic is touched.. i get moody...

Me; Bro actually i have feelings for somone...
Fatty: i know must be Shirleen..
Me: wrong nt her.. anyway i always tell her to get herself a bf and she finally did..
Fatty: Then who... she must be very special then...
Me: Yes special enough to touch my heart again...

[Rangers]

Fatty: Tell me more abt her..
Me: she have been though alot to believe in men again and true love
anymore..
Fatty: Sounds sad...
Me: she will need a lot of love and assurance to touch her again...
Fatty; sounds that u r disturbed by this issue..
Me: Greatly... cos i dunno what i shd do to assure her that i am serious abt
her..
Fatty: did u meet her before?..
Me: nope nt ready yet..
Fatty: Y...
Me: dun ask anymore... i also dunno... but once i am sure of my feelings for her.. i will go all out to go after her...
Fatty; i know u will cos u r a irrational guy.. but what if she is very ugly and fat...
Me: No regrets.

Fatty is one of my few brothers whom i really feel comfortable sharing my thoughts with him. Cos this brother really know me well. we have been friends since sec 1.. know him for 22 years le..

Me: Cheers to our friendship!
Fatty; Cheers to my bro who fall in love again!! hahaha!

[Rangers]

Bros.. i will slowly go into the story with this girl.. let name her: snowy.. but i wun go into full details of her cos i need to protect her name... hope that u guys understand.. i am actually in the office now trying to rush through some documents...

Last thursday is my first phone converseration with her.. she is a gd listener..
a girl whom i really feel comfortable to tok to.. i dun need any liqour to open my heart to her... and i know.. something is nt rite... yup.. i do feel for her..

The first question which comes into my mind:
Is it too fast?..
Is she ready for it?..

but inside my heart is spinning.. my mind dun seem to work well... and i leaked out in msn that i care for her..

Stupid mistake i make... cos it scared her off... she is nt ready for it..

Of course she is nt ready cos it is too sudden and fast for a girl to accept..

but i know myself... if i dun tell her now.. i never will as i am a conversative guy... my past relationships with my 3 ex gf... is nt those of hasty encounters but through a period of time b4 relationsips are built.. but it is all lasting relationships that last for at leat more than a year...

So i leak out as my heart tell me so... but it is a wrong move...

[alec]

bro, i hope u will find ur path soon. Take cares...

[Eric22]

Glad that you are finally letting go after so long...

[TrulyAsia]

After reading through all 10 pages, i am touched...

One word for ur last post of moving on - Swee

[Eager2enter]

Bro,

i admire & respect ur love for ur the ex.
i too understand the feeling of that special someone cannot be ever replaced.
whoever that comes along after maybe special too but in her own light. but nvr the same.

[Rangers]

The next someone who touches my heart is a girl who is special , someone who will caused me to do irrational stuff but it will need a lot of effort and time to convice and touched her cos she went through too much...

Back to the story again..

After much thinking.. i finally gathered enough courage to sms her for a date.
She replied and the date and timing was fixed. I was overjoyed when it was done.. Feeling excited.. my fingers was trembling when i was about to hand in the last piece of work and prepare to knocked off the day...

Boss: Cant leave yet as i need yr help in this last bit of proposal form.
Me: What is it?.. make it fast.

The work was handed over to me.. and i text her..

Me: Cant meet u that early.. 4.30pm can?.
Snowy: K.. i thought u said finishing soon.
Me: sorry last min workload.

I then focus on getting the work done asap. Knn: i will leave this company for good! i told myself angrily.. What it seem to ages to take me to finish the job.. finally i completed it... and this time the Managing Director came in to tok to us abt our work. Whalan never ending story... i thought to myself.. i am going to be late for the appt soon. This joker is damn long winded. Looking at the watch.. i grabbed my work and slipped off from the back and handed over the finished work to the Recpt and i rush off to the appt.

[Rangers]

Nothing is more important than the first date with her. I managed to grab a cab and headed down to plaza sing.. still have some time... i can buy a bouquet of roses for her.. In the end.. i brought a bouquet of pink roses for her... hoped that she will like it... guys it have been a long time since i brought roses for another girl beside my gf... she is that special girl.. My mobile rang

Fatty: bro.. do u managed to ask her out..
Me: yup.. finally after i fought with myself and now i am heading off to the appt.
Fatty: so fast ah..
Me: But somehow i am nervous...

Finally i reached the place and she text me.

Snowly: sorry.. can i meet u at 6pm instead as i have something on.
Me: k then. No worries i will wait for you.

I am disappointed i knew that she cannot make it in time but i am willing to wait for her.. i meant if u r serious abt the girl... u can take time to wait for her..... i then headed off to the nearby coffee stall and ordered beer... Carefully i placed the roses well.. cant dirty it and drink the beer slowly.

She: Your actions and words will scare me off...

Recalling what she told me in the msn.. i then have second thoughts abt giving her the roses... will it add on to her stress?.. Bros.. at times when we care too much abt the girl.. we will care alot about she feel abt things... that is me.. Perhaps it is nt the first time yet... and sadly i threw away the roses..

[Rangers]

Finally the time has come.. i headed off to the destination. By this time, my heart is jumping even faster when i was waiting for her.. remind me of the time when we are waiting to proceed to the exam halls...she came...

Coimg towards me is the girl i have feeliings for.. she may nt have the best figure in the world nor the prettiest girl in the world.. but my heat really longs for her... Anyway i dun go for looks nor figure... I just want to care for her..
but i am nervous... very nervous...

Snowy: Hi
Me: Hi

We are rather awkward when we meet up. Cant blame her cos i am nervous.. it took some time for us to break the ice... cos i am nt someone who will tok at ease when i am with someone that i like in the dating stage.. too shy ba...
Anyway she tok too... and i listen to her... she is a nice girl... all the while.. i am debating with myself whelter to confess to her how i feel... but i need alot of courage b4 i dare to pour out my feelings to her... We went to somewhere quiet and gently i told her how i feel abt her.. there r a few times when i told myself and emotional and hold back my tears.. i told her.. i do care for her though i have such a unforgettable past with my gf.. i dunno whelter she can feel my heartbeat for her... And i actually give her a gentle hug after the confession... but she did nt dare to hug me...

Instantly i know that she dun feel much for me and dun dare to commit much to this friendship or develop much into this relationship as she have feelings for another guy... Anyway the date does nt end well... and i sort of feel empty after it.. i then decided to ring up my buddy fatty for a drink..

[Rangers]

After the timing has been confirmed with my friend..i headed slowy to city hall mrt.. i love to walk whenever i am troubled..cos i can slowy organise my thoughts and feelings.. my head is in a whirl... or i shd say is it my heart...

Meeting my buddy fatty give me some comfort... seeing my distressed face..

Fatty: r u k?.. let head off to dinner.
Me: I am nt hungry..
Fatty: u have to eat something if u going drinking..
Me: k then

I order wanton mee and but did nt even finish up half of it...

Fatty: how is the date.
Me: nt gd.. nt fruitful..

After dinner we went to the favourite ktv pub(Clean pub).. and i start to open a bottle of Martell and i drink furiously...

Fatty: nt yr usual style of opening bottle.
Me: Dun care lah.. just dun want to stay sober tonite.
Fatty: slowly.. bro nt too fast u will get knocked out easily.
Me: fuck care lah.. just let me drink and sing...

That nite.. so happened the customers at the pub sang those sad songs and these songs only prolong my saddness...

Me: i miss her.
Fatty: who?.. yr dead gf or this girl..
Me: Snowy...bro u know something.. i kept away my gf photo abt 3 days ago when i have feelings for her... c i took out my wallet and show it to him .. no more photo le... i am trying to let go of the past.
FattY: That is Great! something which all the brothers have longed that u can do it and move on with yr life. but what abt the ring?..
Me: the day when she accepted me as her bf.. i will remove it.
Fatty; Well done.

I drank fast that nite.. so fast that i start to puke away..

Fatty: better stop drinking now.. he pulled me away... u r nt yr ususal self.. today he told me...

Keep that half bottle, i told the waitress and foot up my bill. Frankly speaking.. i know that i cant drink anymore.. as i am really very tipsy.. what happen next i am nt sure leh.. but i remember my bro managed to pull me into his car...

After what i seem to be a long time.. with me puking at times along the road.. though i am drunk.. i am careful nt to puke in his car... my heading is spinning... and fall aleep in the car...

4am in the morning...

Fatty; u r awake..
Me:iseh bro...
Fatty: u r getting heavy.. i have a hard time pulling u inside my car and clearing up yr mess.
Me: i just want to get drunk yesterday. most of the times i am too sober and it is nt gd..
Fatty: i understand... anyway there is something i need to tell u..
Me: what...
Fatty: yesterday u r dead drunk.. i am worried abt u cos u seldom behave in this way.. been a long time since i c u drunk... and i want to find out what happen to u.. but as usual u dun reveal much..
Me: hmm..k... carry on...
Fatty: and so i took yr mobile and traced back snowy no...
Me: whalan y did u do that?... how can u check my hp?..
Fatty; relax bro.. dun get worked up...
Me: i tried to cool down as i know he is concerned abt me..
Fatty: i have a long tok to her and i knew what is going on le.. Bro if u want o woo her.. u have to be very patient...
Me: I know.. she went though alot le and i will give her some personal time and space for her as she have feelings for another guy.
Fatty: yup u r rite... anyway have u really decided to tender yr resignation already.
Me: Yup will do it today... have decided to venture with Nelson. He need someone to built up the motor insurance base with him.
Fatty: at least in career wise.. u have decided to take a step ahead though it is filled with risk factors.
Me: that is business.

[Rangers]

After the tok i went home for a quick sleep... And i actually overslept and was late for work.. The feelings of hangover sucks and but i drag myslf off to work. After reaching the office.. i tender in my resignation to the Managment.
Immedately.. the Managment held a meeting with me as they r nt willing to release me. I explained my grounds and since there is no room for nego.. they let me go. I wavied off the notice with the leave i have and i left the company. Along the way to meet Nelson.. i am thinking of snowy... shd i call her?.. cos i really miss toking to her...but i dun dare... mobile rang;

gf sis: kor where are u... called yr hp nobody ans.. just called yr office.. yr collague said u have already quitted.
Me: Yup i just tender only.
gf sis: then what is yr plans?..
Me: will go into joint venture with my friend..
gf sis: Awesome! sounds gd. Kor want to meet tonite at town.
Me: dun want.
gf sis: i wun eat u up lah.. i have sorted out my thoughts already. no worries no more funny surprises le..
Me: k then.
gf sis: call me after u r done with the stuff.


The discussion wtih Nelson goes on fine.. it is decided that we will make a business trip to shanghai to get some stuff done. For me.. i have some contacts in shanghai. One gd thing which i have worked for my company.. i already established my network already. After the discussion with him.. i called my gf sis...

Me: Mei.. i am done..
gf sis: i just reach hm.. meet u at Taka at 6.30pm.

[Rangers]

I managed to reach hm early for a rest first.. all along.. my heart is filled with thoughts of snowy...there are a few times i wish to call her... but i dun dare...

Finally i text her:

Me: I have tender my resignation.. angry with the managamnet.

but she did nt reply... and i am down...

Saw her at msn and i told her... i will be leaving for shanghai soon for a business trip and i told her to take care of herself... again she never reply..

Anyway.. i am really hoping that she will reply but she did nt... i then went for the appt with the gf sis..

gf sis: u r early today..
Me: yup..
gf sis: i am hungry let go for dinner.
Me: what do u want to have?..
gf sis: Japanese meal...
Me: K...
gf sis: kor u k... still thinking of that girl u like?..
Me: yup.. i think my actions has scared her off..
gf sis: but did she feel for u?..
Me: i dunno.. i dun think so as she is still waiting for another guy.
gf sis: Give her some time.. dun rush into things.

The dinner with her is rather a pleasant one.. at least it is so different from the last time we met... no more awkwardness.. she actually treat me to dinner. u always treat me.. my turn to treat u today.. u cant spent so much now as u r going into business ventures soon.. all these cost money. I was shocked when she said that.. Suddenly she sound so mature now..

gf sis: Can be my dance parther next week.. next week company D & D.
Me: i will be away to shanghai for business trip.
gf sis: for how long?..
Me: just for a couple of days... anyway u shd know.. i dun know how to dance.
gf sis: that is easy...i can teach u...

We did some window shopping... and i am looking at this one piece outfit at one of the bout...

gf sis: thinking of buying this for someone else?..
Me: y did u know again?..
gf sis: i smart mah... dun forget i am a woman..
Me: dunno whelter she will like it.. but i dun dare to buy.. all along i dun dare to buy clothes for girls.. cos u will have to be sure of their sizes and whelter they will like the cutting.. all these details..
gf sis: btw.. did she know that u r leaving soon.
Me: yup.. but she did nt reply...

Sensing my disappointed tone my voice..

gf sis: dun think so much... just give other some time.. she will know yr feelings for u..
Me: i really hope so... i dun dare to ask for much but i really hoped that she will understand my feelings for her...
gf: kor i want to buy some clothes for u...
Me: dun want la.. i can buy myself..
gf sis: nope u will nt do that.. u only think of what to buy for others but nt for yrself...
Me: i appreciate yr kind thoughts.. but it is k...
gf sis: kor can u wait for me here... i need to go to the ladies..
Me: k..

I waited for quite some time for her.. but then it is normal.. girls take a longer time in the ladies.. Finally she appear again..

gf sis: close yr eyes...
me: what is up?..
gf sis: just close yr eyes...
me: k..
gf sis: for u kor..

slowly i opened my eyes and opened up the gift wrapper.. it is a bight coloured tie..

gf sis: now that u r going to meet more clients in future.. it is important that u have a bright colourd tie... hope that u will like it.

Me: thanks i like it..

[Rangers]

Me: mei take care of yrself when i am nt around..
gf sis: i know lah... ever since jie tell me to keep an eye on me...u r always
concered abt me..
Me: u know she is worried.. u r always so playful and wild.. she is afraid that
u will be cheated by men.
gf sis: only i cheat men.. no man have ever cheat me before cos i know how
to protect myself mah...
Me: Having said that.. u still have to be careful... in my eyes u r always
my small mei mei..

At that moment..she suddenly hug me gently...

gf sis: u r very naggy loh...

It is a quick hug... and she was her chatty self again..

gf sis: when u come back i may already have a bf le...

i give her a quick smile.. as it was late already..i sent her..

gf sis: dun think too much.. she just need more time..
Me: yr turn to be naggy now.. k... i know that.

[Rangers]

I went home that nite.. starting to pack my stulf for the trip. checking for any sms from snowy... there is no reply from her and i am sad...

Give her some time.. i told myself and finally i fall aleep 2gether with the thoughts of her...