Wife & Sex - going through the motion

[Iluminati]

Originally Posted by besarhuge2

meant to ask you what does nymphomaniac means ?

Thanks

It means someone who is horny, have high sex drive and active in bed. correct ma asdfghjkl?

[SammyNewbie]

I have not read over everything and yeah, 65 pages is abit too much in the middle of the night though I don't really feel like sleeping. I'll be a little more serious in this discussion.

The problem with rampant sex or allowing sex outside marriage is the spread of STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Even if you helmets on, and chances are low, it *might* happen. Then if everyone like raw cause it feels better, yeah all hell will break loose.

The second thing is that it's a double edged sword. If you are allowed to have sex with other women, your wife can have sex with other men. While some men can take it, I can't. I will get jealous if I find out my wife is sleeping with someone else and she likes him better than me.

The reason for not divorcing your wife and eating out is actually because of how the law always protects the women. If you divorce your wife, you not only have complex problems with joint assets, u also have to pay alimony to her.

These laws were enacted a long time back, where women had no social status and were given a secondary role in society. Where they did not work and stayed home and kept the house in order and took care of the kids. If you divorced them just like that during those times, they'd be out on the street and in deep trouble.

It prevented philandering men from just throwing their wives out after they got tired of them.

Does that really apply to the career woman of today? Having said that, I think the law shouldn't be completely abolished, and there should be an allowance of this provided the spouse being divorced is truly a homemaker earning nothing.

Well you can divorce a woman without paying alimony if you have evidence that she cheated on you though

I think women these days are getting smarter and actually misusing some of these things to their advantage. And Singaporean men aren't really quite as shrewd as men from other countries when it comes to choosing a wife being honest. And we aren't worse devils than our wives most of the time. XD

We are blinded by our eyes and groin alot and we don't notice we are marrying a demoness until the ceremony is over and she reveals her true form.

We also spoil our women too much because we love them and we forget to take them in hand causing the situation at hand.

At times, we should learn to walk away when a woman treats us bad, or give them a spank

I'm not going to win popularity polls by saying this, but I feel it's the truth when we consider how many married people still visit this forum and eat out.

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by SammyNewbie

Well you can divorce a woman without paying alimony if you have evidence that she cheated on you though

Sorry but I believe having to pay alimony is not dependable on the circumstances leading to divorce....she can cuckold you but believe me you still have to pay her alimony. How much she gets is very much depending on her earning powers and life style when she was married to you. But generally, most women that cuckold their ex do not really want to pursue the matter hence they rather bury everything and move on. Well unless that woman is really such a bitch that pride and face matters nothing to her.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

Sorry but I believe having to pay alimony is not dependable on the circumstances leading to divorce....she can cuckold you but believe me you still have to pay her alimony. How much she gets is very much depending on her earning powers and life style when she was married to you. But generally, most women that cuckold their ex do not really want to pursue the matter hence they rather bury everything and move on. Well unless that woman is really such a bitch that pride and face matters nothing to her.

Yes, bro Frankie is right...

But bro Frankie...it depends on how much the woman can get...if the husband is the tycoon type...what face and pride...no face and pride is worth a few million in compensation....plus cushy monthly income forever...

A friend of mine was a pilot with SIA and earning fairly big bucks...when he decided to divorce his cheating wife...we had a meeting of sorts and we came up with a plan...he saw a doctor for stress and hypertension and got himself grounded from flying...then he resigned from SIA...then he divorced her...yes, she got almost half of what they had then but no more high monthly alimony...then once everything settled...then he went to another doctor and got his licence back...then he applied to Emirates and got an even higher paying pilot job...add to the fact that he now earns his money outside Sg...she lan lan...

So the lesson learnt is this...make sure you jaga your finances properly before anyhow throw the D word around...


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[SammyNewbie]

Upon the mighty Google search, I have found you were right and it was a misconception on my part.

Anyway, a few friends of mine had a discussion about whether it was better to be a man or woman awhile back.

The answer they had was even if it was better to be a woman,I'd rather be a man because

-Woman that sleep around is called slut, man that sleeps around is called stud.

- I get to bastard a woman by shooting first if I want to feel shook

- I can pee while standing

Damn funny when we debated over whatsapp.

So to all the men out here that feel sian remember these three things!

[Wizrd]

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Hi bros and sis...

I just posted an analogy to relationships and thought it might be interesting to share here... Analogy...

Please read and feedback if interested...thanks all...

Cheers...

.

[SammyNewbie]

I followed you there and read what it said. This is my own take. Not really on relationships, but on people in general.

The story of the three guitars

I remember when I began my journey in to start playing the guitar. My motivations for it were mainly selfish. I wanted to become a musician, learn a few love songs, confess to a girl I like, and as a friend joked, live the high life of sex, drugs and rock and roll and bonk as many girls as I could.

On impulse, I bought my first guitar from a local bookshop near my place for 85 dollars. It was an acoustic guitar painted red and outlined black. And with my little bit of musical background and after ensuring the strings were in tune before paying.

When I brought it home, my sis was shocked, saying she already had another acoustic guitar she could have given to me free since she no longer used it.

I began to surf youtube and start playing my first love song. The pain of playing on the guitar was tremendous, though to be expected for a beginner. I noticed however, though my skin was adapting and growing a hardened layer of calluses on it, and I noticed I was getting better, some chord transitions were just near impossible to switch without a near two second delay. This was unusual, because I could switch most of the chords in the song with ease, but when it came to some particular ones, it was just difficult.

Doing abit of research on guitars, and how to find a good guitar and maintain one, I realised that the action of the guitar was too high. For those wondering what that was, it was the gap between the strings and the fret. That gap gradually grew higher as the frets went further up, and because the love song required me to play barre chords up the seven fret, the gap on those frets upwards were huge. It required a large amount of strength to actually press down on the strings properly, and because of that my fingers would stiffen and turn rigid, causing the switch to be difficult because of how tense they were.

I was also a new guitarist then, and that was causing me a large amount of pain and making me unable to focus beyond it and clamping the strings down so the chord could sound right.

The only way to fix it was to actually pull out the saddle that was propping the strings up and sanding it down. Having not done any woodwork and Design and Technology for a long time, I decided the action problem was too difficult to fix but I'd already spent some money on it and I was reluctant to buy another one. I decided to take a look as my sis guitar that was unused for a few years in her room.

After blowing off the dust on the bag and abit of coughing, I pulled out the guitar from it, tuned it up and began to play.

Oh my God! The action on this guitar was tuned for beginners. After playing on the other guitar for three weeks, this guitar was like heaven! I felt like I was a rock star! I could play almost every single note and chord perfectly on this guitar without screwing it up. It was also almost painless. I looked it over, and decided that with a little restring and changing some of the rusty tuning pegs, this guitar was good to go.

Working with it was a joy! Except that my sister noticed I was a little bit too happy with her guitar and decided she wanted it back to play too. So I was part time on that my sis' guitar and part time on my own.

While playing, she kept complaining that it hurt.

I just smiled and asked her if she'd like to try mine instead.

But I knew that my guitar had a problem that was causing me quite some pain. I knew factory strings were cheap grade and usually made of crap metal and so I bought and used better branded strings like Elixir. Extra Light gauge and polyweb coated for comfortable playing.

When that wasn't enough though it did help I watched some videos on guitar set-up from youtube to see how I could fix it. I noticed that those manufacturers put in this two sticks of wood in the saddle slot for some reason that would cause this. Most of the time once you took it out, the action was usually the right height.

Still being lazy, I decided not to do anything and hope my fingers would adapt to it and my arm would grow strong enough that I could just play and ignore this flaw. That wasn't happening. Finally one day, the guitar playing had become such a chore from the pain and I just pressed on that famous chord on the seventh fret and felt that high action, discomfort and pain.

“Fine! I'll fix it!” I murmured angrily to myself as I loosed the strings, removed them and took out the saddle. Sure enough the two pieces of wood were there. Unfortunately, some of the strings had taken too much stress from the ultra high saddle and could not wind back to the original pitch. I already knew there was too much tension on the string and I stubbornly choose to wind it a little more to try my luck.

“Snap”

The string flew out from the guitar violently as it hit my face, causing me a certain amount of pain as I now had my face buried in my hands.

“You're nothing but trouble!” I shouted angrily as I walked out of my room leaving the guitar on my bed as I went to buy some new strings to cool off “If I try that and you still give me problems, I'm selling you off to someone else!”

After the restring, the pain became less, but the action was still high. I still couldn't do the chord transition properly. My taste in the music I played was also switching to emo rock and songs that required barring and sliding up the upper frets that had that high action because I needed to vent from the stress I was feeling at work.

I almost couldn't play those songs properly because of the amount of strength needed without stopping for a break every two minutes.Also, the way my guitar was built made it actually sound softer and suppress the loud sound of the strings, making it unsuitable for the rock I was playing. I eventually resorted to using my sis guitar when she was not around to get the practice I needed to switch the chords correctly.

I decided it was time to look for a new guitar. To cut the long story short, I was smarter this time, and I found a cheaper guitar with that playability and proper action adjustment. When my dad asked me if he could borrow my guitar to sing for the last few days in his company before his retirement.

“Sure, take it! If your friend wants to buy it, tell him to quote me a price! I don't need it anymore.” I replied happily as I played on my new rock guitar that was pretty loud and awesome.

Well, life with it was good ... for awhile. Then I noticed my ears were hurting quite abit from playing too often, and I was wondering if I was playing too hard. Also, I was wondering why it felt so painful to play simple chords. It turns out, this guitar was made out of plywood. The plywood didn't absorb all the redudant reverb and caused it to be extremely jarring. The front action also had a problem. I guess I was just too happy that it didn't have the same problems as my previous guitar and didn't notice initially that it had other problems of its own XD.

But at that point, I didn't really realise that, I thought I was losing interest in guitar and music because it wasn't getting me laid >.<”.

My old guitar came back that after my dad's last day before his retirement in the case. I was still using the new guitar to play some songs like Don Mclean's 'Vincent', but my ears were hurting again. I decided to give my old guitar a final play before I sold it off to a friend that would be buying it.

I pulled it out from the bag, sat on my bed, closed my eyes and began plucking slowly on the strings. The sound of that came out the guitar, was sweet, soft and mellow and didn't have the jarring sound my new guitar had. Why hadn't I ever noticed it? I guess I just took it for granted.

I played and sang many slow classical ballads for about one hour with this guitar. Oh the sound and the music I was playing. It brought the joy of playing back again. I played a little bit of rock with it too, though it didn't sound as good as the classical picking ballads, I felt I could live with that. As I played, though it said nothing, the guitar seemed to plead with me.

Jay, please don't sell me or throw me away

I decided to pick up the other two guitars and play the same songs as this one to give it a fair trial. My sister's guitar was the easiest to work with, but it made some trade offs in terms of sound. It also had problems and began buzzing when u just played firmly. It was suited to beginners, but not to seasoned guitarists. In terms of sound, it was just so so. It was what you called an all rounder guitar.

Mine, well you could play rock with it. But it had problems just with playing simple chords. It's noisy and loud sound was suitable for you to let out your rage, but too much of it made you go deaf.

Then there was my first guitar. It had problems with high action with rock certainly, but I took for granted it's beautiful sound suited to classical songs because of the way it was built. When you played simple classical songs, it did so extremely well. Sure there were guitars that sounded better than it, to be fair they cost much more too. Out of the three, in terms of sound it was the best.

It reminded me a lot of myself. A person with obvious annoying character flaws that was often misunderstood with his good points taken for granted. Often shoved into situations where it was unsuited for me to be in and blamed after that. “Why can't you be more playable than guitar y. He gets by fine”. When I was finished with my trial and evaluation, I was crying.

“You're not going anywhere...” I said through sniffs as I patted the guitar on the neck “I'm keeping you and we'll work on those issues.”

[SammyNewbie]

I did more research on saddle sanding and how much to sand and bought some sandpaper the next day. After the sanding, the playability improved. To be honest, the high action was still a problem because of the way the guitar was built, but I could at least now make those chord transitions without difficulty.

I still have all three of my guitars with me. Ocassionally I switch between them to play certain songs more suited to each guitar.

But there's no guess which one I play on the most often .

I guess it's the same with people. I don't claim to be an expert on relationships or guitars, and some guitars may indeed be beyond any hope even after doing many things for them, I have had such people in my life. However, I realised that most of the time, we are too quick to pass judgment on other people and throw in the towel. Perhaps we should attempt to see if some of the issues in our relationships can be fixed, although it may require some effort or pain on our part to do it. We should also decide whether some of the flaws of a relationship can just be accepted or managed if fixing them is too difficult.

And that, is my take.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by SammyNewbie

I guess it's the same with people. I don't claim to be an expert on relationships or guitars, and some guitars may indeed be beyond any hope even after doing many things for them, I have had such people in my life. However, I realised that most of the time, we are too quick to pass judgment on other people and throw in the towel. Perhaps we should attempt to see if some of the issues in our relationships can be fixed, although it may require some effort or pain on our part to do it. We should also decide whether some of the flaws of a relationship can just be accepted or managed if fixing them is too difficult.

And that, is my take.

Thanks bro....good one...

But...

Everyone has flaws...and loving someone usually 'blinds' us to those flaws...I use quotation marks because I mean blinding in the sense of 'know but willing to accept'...not in the sense of not knowing or pretending it does not exist...

Flaws are seldom the reason why someone is abandoned though....

As much as we want to be all-loving and all caring, love is seldom unconditional. We are human after all and say whatever we want...there will always be a little bit of 'what's in it for me'...whether we are willing to admit it or not does not change that fact...

In this discussion (I mean this thread) where a partner (husband or wife) is refusing sex...and please bro, I am in no way saying that the partner asking for sex is perfect and has fulfilled his/her role to the fullest extent...BUT, when sex is one primary 'obligation' of the partnership, then there is going to be a huge problem.

Working on it is fine...I'm not at all saying to just give up...but for how long and to what end??


If...using a rather crude and unrealistic example...you are a regular in my restaurant....you have followed my menu and enjoy the ambience and the service...and because my chef can cook reasonably well too, you decid to buy a membership...which entitles you to unlimited servings of food whenever you come in...however, the premise is that you will not eat anywhere else...if you do and is caught...then you have to buy yourself out of a release clause in the membership which is roughly half of all of your assets...plus pay for the daily set lunch and set dinner for as long as the restaurant exists, even though you will not be able to eat those added meals anymore...

One day...you and I have a little disagreement...and all of a sudden, when you come in next...my waiters refuse to serve you...

You confront me but I give you the cold shoulder...sorry dude...not interested to discuss it...show yourself out...see ya...

You are getting hungry but I remind you of the clause...go right ahead...eat elsewhere and see what happens...you try again...seek a mitigation...court counselling....some third party to try to resolve the issues...and I lan lan was told that I must serve you food as per the agreement...and you get Maggie mee maybe once a week...

To you and your friends...I am being unreasonable...but to me and my friends...you are being difficult...just apologise for disagreeing with me...how hard can that be...but since you are unwilling to apologise...then I shall not back down either...

We may each have our reasons and we may each be right in some aspect of our own argument...

If it is just one tiff...maybe we can still work it out...but what if there are many underlying issues?? When you back down on one, I bring up another issue where you have wronged me? And when I admit to being unreasonable on one issue, you bring up yet another issue...often times...the ill feeling is planted and not easy to be fully resolved...world war 3 is always just one ill-chosen word away...or one wrong twitch of an expression away...or one mishandle deed away...

Neither of us is enjoying this Cold War...but I have the benefit of the earned interest from your payment for the membership...plus the appearance of having customers in my restaurant... you on the other hand gets more and more hungry...and the more you beg me for food...the more it seems that I'll deny you....(and on the rare occasions when I give you reasonable food after a bout of begging...it doesn't feel good at the end because it starts to feel like charity, pity...instead of your member's right...) and because we cannot talk rationally any more...you are only left to sit in the corner wondering why you made such a huge mistake...


Now bro...do we really think that so many people writing to this thread are all stupid / timid / unthinking... and that they never tried to resolve the issue? The all round feeling of lan lan-ness tells me otherwise...

As I have suggested before...many times...always communicate...but if that doesn't work any more...each of us has a right to find our own happiness...we do not and should not give another person the right to reduce us to being less than human....everyone has their dignity...and should I have to damage someone's dignity in order to preserve mine...I say it has to be done...


Thanks for contributing bro...I'm in no way saying that you are incorrect...but life is not that simple...at the same time... it shouldn't be made much harder than it already is either...

Cheers bro...

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[SammyNewbie]

It is not my intent to make light of what any of the bros here are going through, or even what you go through. Or to give a pep talk or airy fairy speech by writing that story.

Although I do not have first hand experience of this, I watched everything you mention unfold before me watching the lives of my own parents. I know I only understand about 20% of what all of you go through, cause I talk with my dad about this alot.

All I wish to do by writing that post, is suggest that there may be an alternate situation other than the one you present. Ultimately, it is up to the bros to actually decide which situation applies to them more, whether theirs is the iPad story, or the guitar story.

The only reason why I present this is because some of the bros may be in the guitar situation. I know that because I've cut friendships thinking I was in the iPad situation before, but it was actually the guitar situation, and looking back in retrospect, I regret that.

All this is, is a second opinion. We'll either have to keep talking until we come up with a suitable view both of us can accept, or we'll just have to agree to disagree given both our unique backgrounds and life situations.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by SammyNewbie

It is not my intent to make light of what any of the bros here are going through, or even what you go through. Or to give a pep talk or airy fairy speech by writing that story.

Although I do not have first hand experience of this, I watched everything you mention unfold before me watching the lives of my own parents. I know I only understand about 20% of what all of you go through, cause I talk with my dad about this alot.

All I wish to do by writing that post, is suggest that there may be an alternate situation other than the one you present. Ultimately, it is up to the bros to actually decide which situation applies to them more, whether theirs is the iPad story, or the guitar story.

The only reason why I present this is because some of the bros may be in the guitar situation. I know that because I've cut friendships thinking I was in the iPad situation before, but it was actually the guitar situation, and looking back in retrospect, I regret that.

All this is, is a second opinion. We'll either have to keep talking until we come up with a suitable view both of us can accept, or we'll just have to agree to disagree given both our unique backgrounds and life situations.

No bro...please don't misunderstand me...I'm not saying you are wrong...

But the truth of the matter is...a wife will almost never tolerate your three guitar situation...yes darling...go out, take your time to fuck other women for a decade or two...then you can compare and will know how good I am to you...and when you finally appreciate what I have to offer...you may then be willing to go and learn how to make me happier...

Sorry, but that ride didn't even make it into the Disneyland's or fairytaleland's ride list...

And...your dad, how ever close he is to you, will unlikely discuss his blue balls with you...and if he did...then how desperate is he to forego any fatherly dignity to complaint to a son? Either ways, you won't fully understand it until put into the situation...

Thanks bro...I do take your point of view on board...but I worry that some bros are trying a little too hard to tough it out...when people seldom change their character or personality...so their other half will likely remain the same..despite the effort...

Like I said...sure...go give it a go...communicate...get counselling...but when it is not happening...we have to bite the bullet, however tough that may be...


Cheers bro...and thanks again...

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[Window7]

Ask her to moan louder that night. Told me why control her.
Kkj immediate soft. I just prefer to pcc these days.
Don't have to own her

[hoong2003]

Have been sometime and long enough of not hanging around this forum; but once i login; Wow !!!! So many negativity???

Well, this supposed to be a man talk session, right??

Why involve on the morale lesson already??? At first, we as a man - FUCK outside is already not right; but come on, biologically, you got to agreed with some man here that our DICK rules sometime, and we are not saint, we need a good FUCK !!! At all cost, all the time !!!!

Coming to that, i was actually wanted to shared with all the Brother here about - ME SPILLING MY HOT THICK SPERM IN MY WIFE'S FACE !!!!!

Why so SAD !!??

[k9er]

A key that can open many doors, is called a "master key".

A door that can be opened with any keys, is useless.

Key is the man, and door, the woman.

Wise words.

[bernardlee]

Sad stories repeat everyday. Everytime I see new couples in wedding dinners, I wish them good luck.

The woman before marriage is a sexy kitten. The man thinks about all the wonderful sex that he is going to have once marriage.
Then they got married.
After marriage the woman practically owns the man.
After marriage he's not longer a challenge et. al. so her interest in him quickly wanes.

Divorce is a massive screwing for a man whereas a woman walks away with more assets and than she came into the marriage with and if they have children she maintains a primary benefit of marriage - access to his disposal income.
Consequentially in short order after marriage women treat their man like crap and the consequence is minimal to her while maximal to him.
This grinds him down until he starts to ignore her.
At that point they will both begin to stray.