#376
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Re: Innocently Depraved
Look forward to his updates
Wow. Awesome writing. |
#377
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Re: Innocently Depraved
Look forward to his updates
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#378
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Re: Innocently Depraved
Amazing sexciting story, please update us soon bro
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#379
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Re: Innocently Depraved
Look forward to his updates. It has been a while since last update
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#380
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Re: Innocently Depraved
Bro, please continue…
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#381
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Re: Innocently Depraved
“Hufff... Tommy... went... Out...” I replied, my voice straining as I struggled to take another step. Lifting weights is one thing. Lugging one up the stairs proved to be a whole different sport.
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#382
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Re: Innocently Depraved
Hey there,
I am a wannabe writer. I have always dreamt of writing my own opus like Bro Depraved has here. I really love like story. I’m obsessed with it! I realise Bro Depraved might have difficulty continuing the story, but there are so many story legs to explore. We could have: The Origin Story How did Tommy end up this way? Was his dad the Grandmaster who taught Tommy everything? Was Christine loaned to Tommy? How did Tommy lose control? What is Tommy’s bodycount really? How did he start with Alicia? Who else is in Tommy’s gang? What is the body count with Tommy’s gang? Who else is in “The Game”? The Melissa POV story-arc How did Tommy break and turn Melissa? When did it start? What was Melissa’s training like exactly? What is Melissa’s body count? How many other gang-bangs has the had? (Part 2 seems like this is not her first rodeo). How many other guys has she submitted to? How does her new lifestlye carry over into her worklife? Does she offer sweeteners? Does she submit to her bosses? The Alicia POV story-arc This area is not really fleshed out. Alicia’s journey as a submissive should mirror and contrast with Melissa’s story. How does Barry as a Dominant compare to Tommy as a Dom? They obviously have different temperaments. The male gaze Also, the female characters looks and figures should be fully fleshed out for the male gaze and tiltillate the audience regularly. What is their height? Weight? Bra sizes? How long is their hair? Are they fair or tanned? Are they thicc or got thigh gap? That sort of thing? To be fair, the guys should have a female gaze too. Brian’s Revenge story So far, there hasn’t been that true sense of jeopardy and dread that the Main Character faces (i.e. Barry) that can be considered netorare. I think the audience is waiting to see Brian have his revenge. Let Tommy and Barry lose Melissa for awhile. Let them fight and aruge, and then see how they win her back. Throw a spanner in the works. Barry’s dad story Another angle to explore is Barry’s dad. He’s definitely a beta male. Is he a cuck? Does he actually know everything that’s going on? (Like true healthy marriages should). Maybe Barry’s dad gets off on being a cuck? Maybe Barry’s dad and Tommy’s dad new each other from Pre-U? Maybe they swapped gf’s back then and Barry’s dad was originally with Christine and Tommy’s dad was with Melissa? The Tommy vs Barry relationship story The boys relationship is the crux of the story. Tommy should learn to trust Barry ane open up to him. The story should also see Barry grow in confidence as a Dominant under Tommy’s guidance. The one-shot sidequel We need a B-story going on while the Main Characters/Protqgonists are at play. These B-stories could be full fleshed out into like one-episode stories. |
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