For us married men thinking of crossing the line

[BOSSES]

I came across this article in a clinic sometime ago and snap it into my handphone. Quite interesting and just sharing with you guys. This articles can be found in simply her May 2010 and credit is to be given to Madeline lin.

[CENTER]“My parents were together for 29 years
before they were married”[/CENTER]

At 12, Brian discovered her was the son of a mistress. Now 24, he shares how he grew up from watching his mum struggle with being “ the other women” in his father’s marriage
As told to MADELINE LIN.

As a child, I had a strange nemesis: the front door of my family home. Other kids battled monsters under their beds, but what got my heart pounding was the sound of the key turning in the lock. Would the door swing open to reveal my dad coming home? Or would it close behind him as he left us once again to return to his legitimate family?
“My mother was my dad’s mistress for 29 years. Until my father married her at the end of last year, he treated our house like a hotel, coming and going as he pleased. My siblings and I had no idea he was married to another women until I was 12 years old, and even then, we were never sure then or if he would return whenever he left the house. Dad would visit us every few weeks and stay a couple of days each time. Once a year, he would stay for about two months.
“As a child, I would watch Mum cry helplessly whenever Dad left us. My mother is what you ‘d call a xiao nu ren ( little women ) – meek, quite and submissive. She always deferred to him and never once argued with him when he said he had to go. It broke my heart to see her upset, but there was nothing I could do. Dad and I were not close – he was cold towards me and we never really talked when he is around.
“When his wife divorced him last year, Dad came to us for good. I was 23 at the time and had lived my while life as the child of a mistress. Dad was absent from the most important moments of me and my two siblings; lives. He was not even listed on our birth certificate.
“Growing up, I got used to fending off questions from teachers and classmates about where ( or whom ) my dad was. I would tell then that my parents are divorced or, at one point, that he was dead.

“WHY IS DADDY NEVER AROUND”

“I was six when I first started asking Mum why Dad never come home like regular dads. I vaguely recall Mum explaining that he had to work back then, Dad came around often, but as I got older. I saw less of him. From the time I was 15 to 17, he only dropped in just a few hours a visit.
“I used to get so excited when Dad came to see us. He didn’t really play with us and never bought us any toys, but it made me happy just having him in the house – it made us feel like a real family. He never took Mum out – it was a small neighbourhood and I suppose he was afraid of being seen by people he knew – but she didn’t seem to mind. I can’t remember what their relationship was like then, all I knew was that whenever Dad was around, Mum seemed so happy. And they didn’t quarrel much – When they did, Mum always give in to him.
“When I was 12, Mum finally told me the truth about our family’s situation. She told me point blank that she and Dad were not married and that he had another family. The realization shook me to the core. A million thoughts ran through my mind: How could Mum share Dad with another woman? How could she let him treat her that way for so long? Why didn’t Dad want to marry Mum?
“We didn’t know much about my father’s other family, except that he had three kids.
“My teenage years were painful and I was depressed after learning the truth. The way I saw it, Dad saw Mum as nothing more than a sex maid or a prostitute, though I don’t think Mum ever saw herself that way. It made me furious and I felt terrible for my mother. All these years, she’d put up with my Father’s two-timing behaviors, allowing him to have sex with her, with no strings attached.

“Unlike my friends, I didn’t have a father I could look up to. I grew up resenting him for not being there for our family. I‘d compare my dad with my friends’ dads, and ask myself why he couldn’t be like them – caring, protective and loving towards their wives and kids. “

LIVING A LIE

I constantly ask Mum why she didn’t get my father to commit to her. After a while, I realized Mum was someone who didn’t expect much. She had resigned herself to the fact that Dad would never make their relationship legitimate.
“Mum did the best she could for us, taking on simple dishwashing and cleaning jobs for money. It couldn’t have been easy raising three kids alone. We lived in a small one-bedroom flat, and were so poor, we could not even afford decent furniture like beds or cupboards.
“Dad monetary contributions to the family were erratic as he was having uneven jobs. Mum sometimes juggled two jobs to put food on the table and pay the rent. She really sacrificed a lot for us.
“Perhaps Mum thought this was the best she could do. Even if she had wanted to leave Dad, She probably didn’t think she had other options – with three kids in tow, she assumed no one would want her. Plus, she was in love with my Father. She was uneducated and naïve when she fell in love with him at 28. Mum knew Dad was married when they became lovers, but I don’t see her as a home wrecker. Over time, I have learnt not to blame her.”

PARENTING THE PARENT

“My Dad was a lousy father and an even worse husband. Sure, he would come if Mum called him with some family problem, but for the most part, he abandoned us to our fates.
“Seeing mum struggle throughout my childhood was unbearable, so I helped her out financially once I could start working. I became the man of the house, attending classes during the day and working at night, sometime more than one shift.
“When Dad’s first wife left him last year, he came running to Mum. I told him in no uncertain terms that he had to marry my mother if he wanted to live with us. To my surprise, he agreed. Now when I see Mum happy, I feel less resentment towards my Dad. He gives all his attention to Mum and he’s there for her, even if it’s just to go shopping.
“It’s going to take some time before I forgive him. I think he regrets not being there for us, so he’s trying to make amends now by trying to get close to me. In the past, I would have brushed him off, but these days I find myself responding to his questions instead of ignoring him. I’m even helping him look for work.”

FROM CHAOS TO MEANING

“While I will never get my childhood back, I can’t let the what-could-have–beens haunt me forever. All I can do is let go of the past and move on. I have to live in the now.
“I am thankful I never fell into bad company. I could easily have become delinquent or dropped out of school, instead I made a point to work hard and to live responsibly. I want to make sure I do everything right. I’m close to completing my degree and I plan to get a good job so I don’t have to struggle later on in life.
“Mum has certainly taught me how to be more attuned to people’s feeling. When I get married, I will treat my wife better than my father ever treated my mum. After seeing what my parents have been through, you’d think I’d put off by marriage. But I think marriage is a beautiful thing, and I hope to be the best husband and father possible. I don’t ever want to be selfish and thoughtless like Dad. When I become a father, I want my kids to be able to come to me when they have problems; I want to be involved in every aspect of their lives.
“I’m looking forward to the future. After 29 years, my parents are finally married. I have a steady job and am surrounded by good friends. I have a girlfriend who loves me. Most importantly, Mum is truly happy, because my father has made a commitment to her”

Simply her May 2010

[RealEstateGuy]

seems SG society is going downhill. Fractured at the core with absentee fathers, women desiring to be a mistress, widespread promiscuity, moral degradation, disrespect of common decency.

[Realgoodguy]

I cross all the known line, I am paying the price...
But, I have became a better man

Sometimes, man just cant control...that life

[BOSSES]

Sigh...just received a call while I was fucking a FL this afternoon after lunch. He is a veteran in the karoake scene. One of his girlfriend is pregnant and he is going bongus over this issues. Imagine his wealth, his future, his life, his philosophy and also his friends around him will change. What a waste! To all bros. Play well, be safe, be responsible and be accountable. Our own wife and kids is still the pillar to our success. It is never fair to a illegitimate kid born out of lust. Just something to share.

[BOSSES]

Originally Posted by Realgoodguy

I cross all the known line, I am paying the price...
But, I have became a better man

Sometimes, man just cant control...that life

Hahaha bro. No one is perfect. I also ALMOST cross the line also. I also met my match ( Girl of my fantasy ) though I am always mentally sound and rationale on such issues.

Cheers bro! to good health and enjoy life to the fullest with no obligation to such matters.

[middleday]

this story reads like a fantasy to make men feel guilty, written by an inexperienced woman

all bros, bonk safe, bonk with CAP ON...

if bros here married liao... if get outside girlfriend.. try to control lo...

my 2 cents only...

[inlaw]

Originally Posted by middleday

this story reads like a fantasy to make men feel guilty, written by an inexperienced woman

all bros, bonk safe, bonk with CAP ON...

if bros here married liao... if get outside girlfriend.. try to control lo...

my 2 cents only...

Ya agree, that is man always wanting to explore the line, but dont lost the control when playing ...

Basically, man are kind of animals ... and also young animals in the heart

[billyblue]

I'm on the line now tipping over soon. Always thought I will be in control, but it's really tough in the heat of the moment.

[vibrate]

Originally Posted by billyblue

I'm on the line now tipping over soon. Always thought I will be in control, but it's really tough in the heat of the moment.

Bro the learning curve is not short otherwise everyone can play lao , paying little more sometimes is necessary

[Ken79]

TS, dont worry too much, visiting whores are as normal as picking up milk at the store.

[PabloEscobar]

Originally Posted by billyblue

I'm on the line now tipping over soon. Always thought I will be in control, but it's really tough in the heat of the moment.

I tipped over the line and rolled down the hill and realized, hey its really great down here

[wett]

Originally Posted by PabloEscobar

I tipped over the line and rolled down the hill and realized, hey its really great down here

You will try again in some time and want to experience the excitement again hehe

[Realgoodguy]

Me got pretty syts from PRC, real syts lah.....

U guys wants to eat eat??? PM me hor

[qlogic]

Originally Posted by Realgoodguy

I cross all the known line, I am paying the price...
But, I have became a better man

Sometimes, man just cant control...that life

Bro why not share your stories? We all can learn from your success and mistakes