Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[wuzan]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

If they are playing animal chess, Australia win

[ah rat]

When the skies reopens, we definitely taking this airline.

[Hurricane88]

🙏🏻🌷♥️ The Journey is Short ♥️🌷🙏🏻

An elderly woman got on a bus and sat down. At the next stop, a strong, grumpy young lady climbed up and sat down beside the old woman, hitting her with her numerous bags.

When she saw that the elderly woman remained silent, the young woman asked her why she had not complained when she hit her with her bags?

The elderly woman replied with a Smile: "There is no need to be rude or discuss something so insignificant, as my trip next to you is so short, because I am going to get off at the next stop."

This answer deserves to be written in gold letters: "There is no need to discuss something so insignificant, because our journey together is too short."

Each of us must understand that our time in this world is so short. That darkening it with useless arguments, jealousy, not forgiving others, discontentment and bad attitudes are a ridiculous waste of time and energy.

No one knows the length of our trip. Nobody knows when it will arrive at its stop. Our trip together is short.

Let us appreciate friends and family.
Let us be respectful, kind and forgiving.
In return, we will be filled with gratitude and joy. After all, our trip together is very short.

Share your smile with everyone.
Our trip is very short...

~ Author Unknown

[sexbuzz]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

🙏🏻🌷♥️ The Journey is Short ♥️🌷🙏🏻

An elderly woman got on a bus and sat down. At the next stop, a strong, grumpy young lady climbed up and sat down beside the old woman, hitting her with her numerous bags.

When she saw that the elderly woman remained silent, the young woman asked her why she had not complained when she hit her with her bags?

The elderly woman replied with a Smile: "There is no need to be rude or discuss something so insignificant, as my trip next to you is so short, because I am going to get off at the next stop."

This answer deserves to be written in gold letters: "There is no need to discuss something so insignificant, because our journey together is too short."

Each of us must understand that our time in this world is so short. That darkening it with useless arguments, jealousy, not forgiving others, discontentment and bad attitudes are a ridiculous waste of time and energy.

No one knows the length of our trip. Nobody knows when it will arrive at its stop. Our trip together is short.

Let us appreciate friends and family.
Let us be respectful, kind and forgiving.
In return, we will be filled with gratitude and joy. After all, our trip together is very short.

Share your smile with everyone.
Our trip is very short...

~ Author Unknown

no joke, just a lesson

[Hurricane88]

Joke 😅😂

♻♻ *SEX IN THE ASYLUM.* ♻♻

Don Lalo is 95 years old and lives in a nursing home.

Every night after dinner, he secludes himself in a secluded section of the garden.

One night, Chelita, 87 years old, approaches him. They start chatting and he says to her:

- 'You know what I miss most of all?'

- 'What? - says Chelita.'

The SEX!!! - says Don Lalo.

With a sad face Chelita exclaimed:

- 'You dirty old man, but you couldn't get up even if they pointed a gun at your head!'

- 'I know, he said, but I would love for a woman to hold it for me, if only for a while...'

- 'Well, I can help you with that,' said Chelita; and she joining the gesture to her word... she unzips his zipper... she gently takes out his little member and holds it in the palm of her hand.

Don Lalo's face was one of absolute pleasure!

They agree to meet secretly in the garden every night, where they would sit and chat and Chelita would hold his member for a while.

One night, however, the old man did not appear at the place at the agreed time.

Alarmed, Chelita began looking all over for him to make sure he was okay.

She ended up finding him sitting on the edge of the pool, next to Paquita, a 78-year-old woman, who was holding his member.

Furious, she Chelita rebuked him:

- TRAITOR, SON OF B.... !!...
WHAT DOES THAT PAQUITA HAVE THAT I DON'T HAVE 😡😡😡???

Don Lalo, with all the pleasure on his face, replied:

- PARKINSON 🤣🤣🤣!!!

(Parkinson symptom - shaky ... ) 🤣

[Hurricane88]

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[Hurricane88]

An airplane ✈️was going down & everybody knew they would crash in the 🌊ocean below.

A rich lady takes off all her clothes and puts on every💎 diamond she has on her body. The passengers all look at her and say, "What are you doing ?!"

She says "When we are in the ocean, my diamonds will ✨sparkle and I will be the first one they find."

Then another woman takes off all her 👙clothes and covers herself with $100 dollars 💵bills. The passengers all look at her and say, "Now what are you doing??"

She says, "When we are in the ocean, the $100 dollar bills will be floating all around me and they will find me first".

Then a black lady tears off some of her clothes and gets just ... butt-naked! All the passengers look at her and say ... "What are you doing ?!"

The black lady says ... "Boy, you know, the first thing they always look for is the BLACK BOX!!! 🌚😛😂

[Hurricane88]

HOW MISS MALAYSIA LOST AT THE MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT AND THAT IS WHY ENGLISH SHOULD BE TAUGHT IN MALAYSIAN SCHOOLS ESPECIALLY PROPER PRONUNCIATION.

It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3 finalists, Miss USA, Miss UK and Miss Malaysia were being asked 3 simple questions:

MC: The first question is name me an electrical appliance starting with "L".

Miss USA: Lamp
Miss UK: Light bulb
Miss Malaysia: Ladio
Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter "L".
MC: I am going to give you 3 more chances; now, name me an animal starting with the letter "L".

Miss USA: Lion
Miss UK: Leopard
Miss Malaysia: LABBIT
Judge: Oh my God!
MC: Your next chance. The name of a famous car that starts with "L".

Miss USA: Lexus
Miss UK: Lamborghini
Miss Malaysia: Lolls-Loyce
Judge: Oh my God!
MC: I am going to give you one last chance! Name me a fruit starting with the letter "L".

Miss USA: Lemon
Miss UK: Lychee
Miss Malaysia, with full of confidence, smiles and says: LIEWLIAN!!!

This is not the end of the story, the judge consulted the board of judges to determine if Miss Malaysia should really be qualified and they decided that since Miss Malaysia was having so many problems with the letter "L", they decided to give her another chance.

Judge: OK, the final question is, name me a human anatomy starting with the letter "L".
Miss USA: Lung (applause)
Miss UK: Liver (even more applause)
Miss Malaysia: LAN CIAU!

All the judges fainted..!!! 🤦‍♂️😅🤣😂

[SBMEDSUP]

Thanks for more nice jokes.

[Hurricane88]

[BushTracker]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

That's the kind of posts that get Chinese in Ukraine into trouble.

[UncleHasBeen]

I am getting old and i know it.
How?

PCC halfway and i stopped.
Never mind, fuck it, am tired, i am done.

[BushTracker]

Originally Posted by UncleHasBeen

I am getting old and i know it.
How?

PCC halfway and i stopped.
Never mind, fuck it, am tired, i am done.

Hahaha.. happened to me too.. just last night.

[UncleHasBeen]

Originally Posted by BushTracker

Hahaha.. happened to me too.. just last night.

U share the same superpower as me, the ability to laugh at ourselves.

Cheers bro!