My crazy lifestyle & the price I paid for it

[gobal100]

take care and be strong. human will make mistake but don't make twice if we do that, we are really stupid noone else to blame but ourself. care for our body.

[kristin18]

Again, thanks for all the kind comments & PMs. Don't understand why there are still people who PM me asking me to go out for drinks though. =/

Well, it's been some time since the surgery. To say I have not been haunted by that incident would be a lie. I've had bad days where I imagine how I would be had I not aborted my baby. I still keep the picture of my ultrasound scan. Sometimes I look at it & wonder how my baby would look like. The scan was taken at eight weeks & by then, the foetus had already been formed.

My heart still aches sometimes & the guilt has never really left me. I've read that some people don't suffer from the guilt at all. But I do. I have said this many times but it's true that by nine weeks I'd already developed a strong connection with my baby. If I had the means to support my baby, I would have. But as it is, I am already struggling to make ends meet. I can't possibly bring my baby into this world to suffer with me. Some may question if it is fair that I don't even give my baby a chance to see the world. Some may argue that perhaps keeping my baby would have brightened up my life, even though I may have to struggle even more financially. Some may say that I'm too selfish, that I only think for myself & not for that life inside of me.

But what's done is done. I have paid the price for a crazy lifestyle I led. Till date all of this still feels sort of surreal. The kind of things that only happen in stories & movies. The kind of things you hear about on the streets. The "my friend's friend" kind of stories. I still can't believe it's happened to me.

The other day a friend of mine bumped into K (they knew each other through me). K wanted to meet up with me. I told my friend there was no way I was going to meet K anymore. Can't believe K had the audacity to tell me to meet up with him. He must have been out of his mind. I don't know if I can find it in me to forgive him, but I sure hope that someday I will find the strength to do so.

[georgemagnum]

Originally Posted by MdmVodka

Comforting words wouldnt be able to help but I hope a hug will make you feel better

*hugs*

And to those who add salt into her wound, dont farking tell me that you have never made a mistake. Shes brave enough to go through it. Just keep your comments to yourself

Well said!

gm

[sane]

I feel for u, gal. Did u hv a good mini confinement? Pls avoid cold drinks, "liang" food.

Take good care of your health, there's a hearsay saying that "1 abortion = 3 live delivery". Don't belittle the impact, it could affect your future to conceive and could increase the risk of miscarriages in future pregnancies so pls take good care of your health.

Human are full of emotions, once a mum, forever a mum. Even if u r a mum only for 1 day, u will still feel for your child. Moreover it's your first pregnancy.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Look at the shining stars at night, they are the angel babies n if fate allows, your angel will return to be be your bb when u r in a better position to give he/her a proper family. Move on and put your past behind you.

Meanwhile, Work hard for your future, take up more courses and see how far your potential goes.

Go for those who is sincere to be your friends. K is just pure disgusting and he is not even fit to be a man. Forget about A, forget about K. Start life afresh.

Save your best only for the one who deserve you. Sleep only with the man who truly cherish and treasure you, n really really loves you.

Find a man who loves you more than u love him. Only when we take ourselves seriously in life, people will take us seriously.

[sane]

Originally Posted by LPPlol

As one female samster, Sane, once told me, I'm the type that does not think of the consequences when i do things .. i admit i shouldn't have did as what she said when she asked me to cum inside her... but it happened and we both paid a very high price for it... more of the emotional price than the financial burden.

Back to you, TS... not sure if we want you to write more or hope that your story ended well... but i think we really want to know you are doing ok.

Was so long like almost a yr ago u still rem what I've say

Actually I couldn't understand y both u n ur gal r doing it raw and to cum inside but at the very least, u r still a responsible man compared to that k jerk.

[michael_368]

Hi Kristin,

What is done cannot be undone now...I will leave you a few phases below and hope you can live a better & meaningful life for future.

Be grateful to those who have hurt or harmed you, for they have reinforced your determination.

Be grateful to those who have deceived you, for they have deepened your insight.

Be grateful to those who have hit you, for they have reduced your karmic obstacles.

Be grateful to those who have abandoned you,for they have taught you to be independent.

Be grateful to those who have made you stumble, for they have strengthened your ability.

Be grateful to those who have denounced you, for they have increased your wisdom and concentration.

[flowbow]

Originally Posted by sane

I feel for u, gal. Did u hv a good mini confinement? Pls avoid cold drinks, "liang" food.

Take good care of your health, there's a hearsay saying that "1 abortion = 3 live delivery". Don't belittle the impact, it could affect your future to conceive and could increase the risk of miscarriages in future pregnancies so pls take good care of your health.

Human are full of emotions, once a mum, forever a mum. Even if u r a mum only for 1 day, u will still feel for your child. Moreover it's your first pregnancy.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Look at the shining stars at night, they are the angel babies n if fate allows, your angel will return to be be your bb when u r in a better position to give he/her a proper family. Move on and put your past behind you.

Meanwhile, Work hard for your future, take up more courses and see how far your potential goes.

Go for those who is sincere to be your friends. K is just pure disgusting and he is not even fit to be a man. Forget about A, forget about K. Start life afresh.

Save your best only for the one who deserve you. Sleep only with the man who truly cherish and treasure you, n really really loves you.

Find a man who loves you more than u love him. Only when we take ourselves seriously in life, people will take us seriously.

Originally Posted by michael_368

Hi Kristin,

What is done cannot be undone now...I will leave you a few phases below and hope you can live a better & meaningful life for future.

Be grateful to those who have hurt or harmed you, for they have reinforced your determination.

Be grateful to those who have deceived you, for they have deepened your insight.

Be grateful to those who have hit you, for they have reduced your karmic obstacles.

Be grateful to those who have abandoned you,for they have taught you to be independent.

Be grateful to those who have made you stumble, for they have strengthened your ability.

Be grateful to those who have denounced you, for they have increased your wisdom and concentration.

Very well said by a senior samster and a senior samstress. I like.

[sane]

Originally Posted by flowbow

Very well said by a senior samster and a senior samstress. I like.

Tks sis flow but I v junior only hope to see ya soon...

[LovePotion]

salute u.. gain my respect... well said

[ringo]

Dear Kristin,

I want to thank you for sharing with us your story. I just read your entire thread, and I felt immense sadness for what you had gone through.

All of us make mistakes, but I think what you had gone through was a a heavy price. I hope that you are recovering well, both emotionally and physically.

I must also add that you have a gift for writing, and expressing yourself. So you should make the most of this gift.

And please, don't ever contemplate suicide again. Your life is too precious.

Do take care of yourself.

God bless!

[Forgot]

TS, life is precious, learn from your mistakes and move on from the lessons learnt. Never contemplate suicide for its the one thing that is the strongest ultimate form of escapism. Live life, learn from life, then you can learn to appreciate life, thus, love life

[sjaa2013]

Hi Kristin, don't look back at the past. What is done cannot be undone.

Pain will go away as time passes.

And you still have the power and choice to live a better life.

Though, alot of people will says that you made a wrong choice but let me tell you, your life maybe worst of if you are not ready for the kid and the kid may not grow up a better person, then you will regret more.

Start you live anew as I believe that every woman deserve a man who truly love them as I believe that you are still very young.

[queeniegal]

Hi TS

Been reading your post on and off...

Hmmmm I reject to loan my friend money for abortions.
Cause I will feel sinful. As I don't want be part of the murderer for a life. Idk did I make the correct decision but apparently I rejected 3 friends of mine for that reason. Those gals does not talk to me anymore, but if that happen to my own sister I will also wont loan her money man... >.< maybe I'm really a cool blood lady.

My mum had an abortion 24 years ago due to her medical condition till to date she still feel the pain.

From your post you should be quite young, move on the past I'm sure you will get better! Every wrong steps we took or decision will make us tougher!

Love yourself! You deserve a better job, better guy and better life.. Keep on working to forge a better life ok!

Good luck gal!

[AssLover]

Dear Kristin, there are people who can help you and get you ack on track. It is a sad tale but things happen in life and we need to move on. Do not give up hope you are young and the way you write it looks like you are educated. Find a job and start fresh.....

[wells]

The radiologist then attached a piece of paper to my report, stating that there was a possibility that my pregnancy was an ectopic one. For those who don't know what is an ectopic pregnancy, it means that the foetus is not inside my womb but inside my fallopian tubes instead. An ectopic pregnancy cannot be kept because the baby cannot grow inside the tube. The tube will burst when the foetus grows & this could be dangerous for the mother.

I spoke to another close girlfriend about what had happened (I'll name her E from here on). E told me her experience when she was previously pregnant. She revealed to me that hers was an ectopic pregnancy. Menses-like cramps were normal, but her cramps were at the side. She didn't think much of it, not until one day the pain got so terrible & she had to be rushed to the hospital for an operation. She had to remove one of her fallopian tubes because of this, & it would be difficult for her to get pregnant in future. She told me to be careful -- if I felt pain at my side, I should go back to the hospital immediately.

QUOTE]

"ectopic pregnancy" for those bro and sis intend to have baby, please be careful during the first stage of pregnancy, During the scan, no sight of foetus does not not mean too small to see and ignore if its safe.

Its a very painful for the mother. This happened to my sis-in law and worst the pain stuck her at JB custom when coming back. Traffic jam like fuck. Its certainly a very painful endurance as one side of the fallopian tube was ruptured. Emergency operation at KK hospital to cut away one side of the tube and mother has to suffer 3 keyholes at the stomach area.

I was the driver that time, my bro calling for help no use and nobody entertains us during the jam. Reach SG custom still have to Q up. knn think back really like fuc.