Gers Are Still Gers

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by jng1103

Sometimes I really dont understand. sillypore women hate it when we labelled them as 'materialistic'. They arguments are "we do work hard and earn a living (well, how much is left???)", "we can live in a decent HDB", "we can take MRT/Bus", etc...

However, when it comes to dating, they "seldom" offer to pay, they got "jealous" coz their gal frens' hubby driving them around, they "dream" of overseas vacations and hoping their men will pay ALL, etc...

Why is that so? well, they claimed that their income is 'lower' than us. If you notice, they do spend lavishly during their ladies nite out. What does it tell us?

well, i guess the better word to use is "too idealistic" or "not realistic". the double standard & coveting of other's achievements/possessions is often in the agenda of squabbles. they forget the possibilities that other couples could probably afford the things, only because they share/combine income for combined expenditures.

which average sillypore man can afford to provide her shelter, ride, flights, shopping...etc (all paid for based on his own pocket limits)??? inspite of the practical providence, they ever so often crave for some sweet pampering of surprise gifts etc. sad to sum things up this way, but most sillypore woman = 末断够

[OceanEleven]

Originally Posted by jng1103

Sometimes I really dont understand. sillypore women hate it when we labelled them as 'materialistic'. They arguments are "we do work hard and earn a living (well, how much is left???)", "we can live in a decent HDB", "we can take MRT/Bus", etc...

However, when it comes to dating, they "seldom" offer to pay, they got "jealous" coz their gal frens' hubby driving them around, they "dream" of overseas vacations and hoping their men will pay ALL, etc...

History told me never be the last to marry among her peers because the marriage can only gets more expensive. First to married, spend $4K on photo. Second to marry, decided to go M’sia for cheap price and different scenery, ended up spending SGD $6K because all photos are nice so don’t know what to choose so in the end took almost all. Third to married, decided to holiday in somewhere else and had the photos taken, final bill, in excess of SGD$10K.

So when your turn comes? God bless you.

[Reaper]

learnt my lesson the hard way......wont go into details here...tat is why I am still single.......guys will always cry father cry mother wan...dont forget...gers compare......guys also do it....i am not taking sides here....just trying to put thins into perspective......gers will compare u with their frends bf.....we guys will compare her with our frends gf...its just a vicious cycle......it will go round & round.....the one and only reason we are here on earth isto to ensure the continued existence of the human race........it is just that we have elolved along the way into more complicated, not necesarily mire sophisticated beings.......marriage is not a business transaction...its about compromising/sacrificing (watever it is u want to call it)
some will say why are there double standards wen it comes to gender but hey....tough luck......tats just the way the ball rolls in any "modern" society

CHEERS

[Decold]

my wife lagi worst!!..Had a agrument with her recently. pay for house, household, etc...save like shit for the wedding dinner and her dream honeymoon (SOUTH KOREA!!!), every month only left a pathetic 100-200 plus myself. Still gota help do housework (which i dun mind actually cuz i felt it muz b shared) Yet, she go complain her mom that i sibei nuan and always face the computer instead of her. FUCKK!!!..what the hell?! i weekdays work so sianz come back juz wana have some relaxation. Yet she still need me to entertain her. I every sat make an attempt to go out with her, she still not satisfied. Complained that i luv the computer than luv her. CB, i go out also cow bei said always go out with friends. I stay at home play games also cow bei said i prefer to face computer than her. Lagi tulan, sometimes realli felt does she ever appreciate what i have done for her..

[Decold]

my wife lagi worst!!..Had a agrument with her recently. pay for house, household, etc...save like shit for the wedding dinner and her dream honeymoon (SOUTH KOREA!!!), every month only left a pathetic 100-200 plus myself. Still gota help do housework (which i dun mind actually cuz i felt it muz b shared) Yet, she go complain her mom that i sibei nuan and always face the computer instead of her. FUCKK!.what the hell?! i weekdays work so sianz come back juz wana have some relaxation. Yet she still need me to entertain her. I every sat make an attempt to go out with her, she still not satisfied. Complained that i luv the computer than luv her. CB, i go out also cow bei said always go out with friends. I stay at home play games also cow bei said i prefer to face computer than her. Lagi tulan, sometimes realli felt does she ever appreciate what i have done for her..

[Deep Blue]

Originally Posted by Reaper

learnt my lesson the hard way......wont go into details here...tat is why I am still single.......guys will always cry father cry mother wan...dont forget...gers compare......guys also do it....i am not taking sides here....just trying to put thins into perspective......gers will compare u with their frends bf.....we guys will compare her with our frends gf...its just a vicious cycle......it will go round & round.....
CHEERS

I have no qualms about the comparing issue but then the path chose and consequences faced are sometimes much more undesirable than one can imagine. We give in just to keep the lips sealed at times but then that in no ground justified when they tried pushing their luck. Guys compare, yes we do. We chose to do it within our own discreet and while drawing conclusions which we seldom enacted on them to change for our likings. Things are different for them. When conclusions are drawn, there must a remedy for it in her way, it is base on her decision to solved the matter. Most of the time, they are kind enough to give us at least two choices – “YES” or “OK”.

It would be nice if they do really understand what is meant by compromising and sacrificing. To her, compromising is when you pick her up after work in Shenton Way while you work in Tuas and the home is in Boon Lay, not forgetting you knock off at 5pm and her at 7pm. To her, sacrificing is when she gave up holidaying in Paris but chose Milan instead at your expense. And the change in destination is unlikely due to financial because you do carry a few credit cards but more because her company refuses her a long leave.

[Deep Blue]

Many been said and done, time and efforts spend in explaining but end of the day what meant most to them is what they want to hear, not what we had said.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Reaper

learnt my lesson the hard way......wont go into details here...tat is why I am still single.......guys will always cry father cry mother wan...dont forget...gers compare......guys also do it....i am not taking sides here....just trying to put thins into perspective......gers will compare u with their frends bf.....we guys will compare her with our frends gf...its just a vicious cycle......it will go round & round.....the one and only reason we are here on earth isto to ensure the continued existence of the human race........it is just that we have elolved along the way into more complicated, not necesarily mire sophisticated beings.......marriage is not a business transaction...its about compromising/sacrificing (watever it is u want to call it)
some will say why are there double standards wen it comes to gender but hey....tough luck......tats just the way the ball rolls in any "modern" society

CHEERS

nice analysis of things. well, generally speaking guys have tendency to compare less, at least in terms of standards where spouse is concern. there's also a growing trend in men being disillusioned by the gal he dates for years.

men are likely to be comparing more pratical issues, such that it helps spur themselves and/or the spouse to be for improvements in the relationship. however, when the gals start making comparisons... often for the wrong reasons, namely; to her own benefit/advantage.

bliss is to be attained/achieved only when both parties have mutual understanding, respect, concensus...etc. when 1 party breech this invisible contract, things naturally go adversely wrong...

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Decold

...sometimes realli felt does she ever appreciate what i have done for her..

can understand your plight. well, this is a case that happens everywhere (regardless of nationality), but, highly applicable in most sillyporean marriages. some say its the metropolitan/cosmopolitan mentality that woman tend to have such insecurities, but ironically less prominent in cities elsewhere... and its a myth that career orientated woman these days demand such attention.

ultimately the problem lies within the woman herself, for its evident that many a times.. they're confused & dis-orientated in objectives, which leads to irrational thinking, if unchecked grows into non-realistic mentality.. and eventually become overbearing.

how & why we tend to get confused in our congested/overpopullated island city? perhaps its the constant struggle to balance western thoughts & asian values. constant deliberation between mordernizm integrating asian discipline (or vice versa).

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

ultimately the problem lies within the woman herself, for its evident that many a times.. they're confused & dis-orientated in objectives, which leads to irrational thinking, if unchecked grows into non-realistic mentality.. and eventually become overbearing.

Dont mens to bang heads here but the the thread reads as "gers are still gers" but has anyone ever thought that "boys will always be boys" and wat seperates the men from the boys is how expensive their toys are. this is one statement that holds true no matter which society we are in. western or asian.....I have good frends from both and I have seen marriages that work and thoses that dont....most of the time wen push comes to shove, the women get the shorter end of the stick. they get stuck with the kids, blah blah blah.....but marriage is about 2 PERSONS COMING TOGETHER.....if u know at the begining that things will never work out...Y get married?? peer pressure? family pressure? I have learnt it the hard way and been burnt badly....I not an pessemist but just cautious thats all.......or is it as men we feel that we should get something out of all the "investment" we have put in to the realtionship?

I personally feel that the problem is this...women want equal rights...but society till wants to protect them becasue the are the "weaker" gender...go figure...this is one belief that I have had numerous arguments about with "feminist"....Some complain that we men dont treat them in a gentlemanly manner and yet wen we do....they say that we can be overbearing or overly concerned.....I say this...I am wat i am.....you fell in love with me becasue of who I am...not wat u can change me into........

CHEERS

[vesfreq]

Originally Posted by Reaper

learnt my lesson the hard way......wont go into details here...tat is why I am still single.......guys will always cry father cry mother wan

ur statement about "guys will always cry father cry mother". Note in particular, the use of the words "will always". What is ur basis for using these two words? Is it a statistically proven trend? Or just something u seen happening to urself and urself only?

Or is it just something that happened to people around you?

IMO, many a time, people like urself fail to realise that things that happen around you need not be representative of what is really happening to the rest of the male population? Before you can convince anyone of us about ur point (or rather, ur blunt and crude statement about men "cry father cry mother"), it will help if you do not turn to mere mindless unconvincing sweeping statements.

I mean no offense, but ur line is so blunt and reckless that I have to say something.

Originally Posted by Reaper

...dont forget...gers compare......guys also do it....i am not taking sides here....just trying to put thins into perspective......gers will compare u with their frends bf.....

Yea, girls compare their bfs. But, have you thought of their basis for their comparison? Girls' bases for comparison aren't exactly the same as guys'.

Figure this. Why would a girl buy a new pair of heels, although she already has ten other pairs? Ask her and she will say that the rest of the ten pairs (although all black) are of different shades and textures (which are essentially the same in shape and size).

In terms of the way a girl thinks and behaves, she is diametrically different from a guy. Yes, they will compare their bfs. But, what is ur point? Their basis for comparison isn't the same as guys.

Notice what the other thread writers have been saying. The main point is about materialistic and emotionally myopic females. But, how do the girls compare their bfs? Are you aware?

I'm not saying all females, but the typical office working girl would shoot out, "what car is ur bf driving?", "wah! ur bf buy u a diamond ring?", "my date brought me to Chjimes for a romantic dinner" and etc. Imagine now, you are the guy dating this girl and she just compared you with her other suitors, using one basis. ie, what you have in terms of career, money and what have you done to impress her?

If you claim that the guys here compare their gfs in terms of sexual appeal and boobs and only compare these, then of course the guys here are no better. But, have a look at the contents of the posts clearly. The guys here are mostly displeased with what some of these girls are doing, especially in the way they (the girls) define convenience and compromise.

Originally Posted by Reaper

we guys will compare her with our frends gf...its just a vicious cycle......it will go round & round.....the one and only reason we are here on earth isto to ensure the continued existence of the human race........it is just that we have elolved along the way into more complicated, not necesarily mire sophisticated beings.......marriage is not a business transaction...its about compromising/sacrificing (watever it is u want to call it)
some will say why are there double standards wen it comes to gender but hey....tough luck......tats just the way the ball rolls in any "modern" society

CHEERS

Comparing and redressing grievances are two separate issues. Voicing out concerns is also different from comparing. You really ought to stop ur sweeping statements.

Yes, it is (from ur perspective) a vicious cycle. The Chinese saying goes, "yi zhong mi yang bai zhong ren". While the people you have met may have led you to develop certain beliefs and attitudes towards people (and including life), it need not necessarily mean that all of us (in ur word "we") have evolved into more complicated "beings".

The part about what you want to be and what you choose to ... "evolve" to become is a matter of personal choice. The term here is "self-determination". What you are and you have become is part of what you thought is and, indeed, shapes you into what you are.

You are right, double standards will always persist. Not because we have become more "complicated", but because people have ceased to try to understand and trust each other. Between two married persons, what divides them is not "complicated", but a mere lack of trust, confidence and, to a larger extent, immaturity.

Asking for bigger cars, houses and plastic cards are not considered as signs of maturity.

PS: ur point form is truly "point form" like reading school notes.

[Toyota Honda]

bros, just my two cents worth.. So what I said may bnot concur with your opinions..
After my last gf left me, I felt like shit and to think I had always placed her priority in terms of food, money and concern etc. Yes, I fool around outside.. but like what some brothers say ' guys will always be guys'. Look around us.. How many guys doesn't fool around outsidde when they have 1) money and 2) time on hand? I admit I am wrong to have committed the what I would say we men's favourtite hobby "extraaffairs' outside be it pt lover, FLs, WLs etc.. but are we attached and married? Yes, we are! But we know who we want and love afterall.

but the girls? They seem to be blinded with things like expensive gifts, good food, convenient and luxury transports, surface care and concern etc.. thats why they say girls fall in love through their ears.. Any guys who can sian her damn well will get to her pants whether she is already attached or even married! This is now a different society where girls are used to being pampered by their men.. And the root cause is because we men are always trying to get into their good books by being nice to them to out level best. The competition heats up and the guy who can give more wins..

Like I say, this is purely my conjecture and I won'texpect all bros to concur with me...

For the sis, before you try to bombard me, think through if what I said is right.. I believe my stone have hit at least 65% of S'pore girls below age 30.

[OceanEleven]

Originally Posted by Decold

my wife lagi worst!!..Had a agrument with her recently. pay for house, household, etc...save like shit for the wedding dinner and her dream honeymoon (SOUTH KOREA!!!), every month only left a pathetic 100-200 plus myself. Still gota help do housework (which i dun mind actually cuz i felt it muz b shared) Lagi tulan, sometimes realli felt does she ever appreciate what i have done for her..

What else is new under the sun? Think about it, after work come home, no cook dinner and eat packet food outside, need to buy her share as well. This is fine as she is working, ask her what she wants and the answer is “anything”. So you go her an “anything but got blasted for “Why the same food?”. “Why buy this?”. Ok bear with it, did your share of housework and maybe even did her part as well and finally took a shower and settle down for a rest and watch TV, then here she comes telling you she wants to switch to her favorite channel but then she starts blabbering about her bitchy boss or colleagues. You put up with it and pretend to listen to her earnestly for a good half and hour. You dare not comment nor add in anything for experience tells you that your views are not needed. After half an hour, you decide to surf the net because the TV does not interest you and her bitching is getting on your nerves and prefer to stay out of her way to avoid any confrontation. Next thing you know half way thru surfing the net, she came in and gave you a good lashing about neglecting her.

What will you do then? Sort it out with her at the risk of sleeping on the sofa? Or simply let her have her fill then retired to bed?

[loh69]

Originally Posted by Decold

my wife lagi worst!!..Had a agrument with her recently. pay for house, household, etc...save like shit for the wedding dinner and her dream honeymoon (SOUTH KOREA!!!), every month only left a pathetic 100-200 plus myself. Still gota help do housework (which i dun mind actually cuz i felt it muz b shared) Yet, she go complain her mom that i sibei nuan and always face the computer instead of her. FUCKK!!!..what the hell?! i weekdays work so sianz come back juz wana have some relaxation. Yet she still need me to entertain her. I every sat make an attempt to go out with her, she still not satisfied. Complained that i luv the computer than luv her. CB, i go out also cow bei said always go out with friends. I stay at home play games also cow bei said i prefer to face computer than her. Lagi tulan, sometimes realli felt does she ever appreciate what i have done for her..

Hahah, same sticky situation as you. Wify never satisfied, sometimes, she threaten to smash my com, so I can accompany her. What the Fuxxxx.
After I accompany her liao, she will tell me my presence is not needed......

C how woman minds flickle.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Reaper

........I personally feel that the problem is this...women want equal rights...but society till wants to protect them becasue the are the "weaker" gender...go figure...this is one belief that I have had numerous arguments about with "feminist"....Some complain that we men dont treat them in a gentlemanly manner and yet wen we do....they say that we can be overbearing or overly concerned.....I say this...I am wat i am.....you fell in love with me becasue of who I am...not wat u can change me into.......

well, yes gers r still gers.. and boys will be boys. mutual respect, concensus...etc. indeed, are ingredients that make things work out. however, put it this way... if it truly were about equal rights & all, then perhaps its time to do away with the woman's charter.

gals having the shorter end of the stick is just a myth. in present day & time, i've witnessed how a shortlived marraige can turn foul (gal using the woman's charter to her advantage). there're cases where the man loses everything. and have to foot the bill to alimony.. still.

about the changes in personality/character... couldnt agree with you more. love is to accomodate & embrace all that the other party is, and not what he/she should be carved into.