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  #9706  
Old 16-02-2019, 08:34 AM
mainly mainly is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbirdbird View Post
Little Johnny and two of his friends were sitting on a front porch one day after school.

Billy looked down the street and saw a bright red Corvette.

"Some day I'm gonna be a lawyer so I can buy me one of those Corvettes," he said.

Robbie looked over at the driveway next to the Corvette and saw a brand new Ferrari.

"I'm gonna be a doctor," he said, "so I can get me a fast Ferrari."

Little Johnny looked over at the other two and replied, "I'm gonna learn how to suck dick when I grow up."

The other two jaws dropped.

"That's what my sister does, and she owns both of those cars," explained Little Johnny
Bro bigbigbird, thank you so much.
  #9707  
Old 16-02-2019, 09:43 AM
trunkquoc trunkquoc is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbirdbird View Post
Little Johnny and two of his friends were sitting on a front porch one day after school.

Billy looked down the street and saw a bright red Corvette.

"Some day I'm gonna be a lawyer so I can buy me one of those Corvettes," he said.

Robbie looked over at the driveway next to the Corvette and saw a brand new Ferrari.

"I'm gonna be a doctor," he said, "so I can get me a fast Ferrari."

Little Johnny looked over at the other two and replied, "I'm gonna learn how to suck dick when I grow up."

The other two jaws dropped.

"That's what my sister does, and she owns both of those cars," explained Little Johnny
Thanks for goid jokes, bro bigbirdbird.
  #9708  
Old 16-02-2019, 10:45 AM
brundt brundt is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Very good thread, thanks everyone!
  #9709  
Old 16-02-2019, 05:30 PM
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etsys etsys is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]



One for the road .
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  #9710  
Old 17-02-2019, 10:55 AM
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Hurricane88 Hurricane88 is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a shrink and told him: “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?”
“Eighty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I'll sleep on it,” I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.
“Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00.
A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck!”
“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”
“He told me to cut the damn legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.”
It's always better to get a second opinion.
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  #9711  
Old 17-02-2019, 01:53 PM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane88 View Post
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a shrink and told him: “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?”
“Eighty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I'll sleep on it,” I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.
“Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00.
A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck!”
“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”
“He told me to cut the damn legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.”
It's always better to get a second opinion.
Bro - thank you for nice joke.
  #9712  
Old 17-02-2019, 01:56 PM
kirkby kirkby is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by etsys View Post


One for the road .
Very funny joke and thanks.
  #9713  
Old 17-02-2019, 02:00 PM
saver saver is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbirdbird View Post
Her First Period





Around lunchtime Sheryl left school and headed for home, crying because her first period had started, and she had no idea what it was.

The girl's teacher was reluctant to get involved, so she suggested Sheryl talk to her mom.

She was walking home when she ran into little Johnny.

"Why are you crying? Asked little Johnny.

"I'm crying because I'm bleeding," she replied.

"Give me a look," said little Johnny.

She lifted her skirt and showed him.

"Fuckin' hell!" said little Johnny. "No wonder you're bleeding, some bastard's cut off your cock!"
Cheers bro bigbigbird and hope to read more jokes here.
  #9714  
Old 17-02-2019, 05:56 PM
cockareel cockareel is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by etsys View Post


One for the road .
Thanks, very good joke!
  #9715  
Old 17-02-2019, 06:12 PM
Brazil1950 Brazil1950 is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane88 View Post
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a shrink and told him: “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.”
Thanks for sharing good joke bro
  #9716  
Old 17-02-2019, 06:19 PM
manimani manimani is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbirdbird View Post
Two Dogs


Little Johnny and his dad are walking in the park when they pass two dogs having sex.

"Daddy, what are those dogs doing?" asks Little Johnny.

His dad explains, "Well, son, the one on top hurt his foot, and his friend is carrying him home."

Little Johnny looks back at the dogs and remarks, "Geez, ain't that just like a friend? You try to help him out and he screws you every time!"
Thanks bro bigbirdbird, glad that you keep sharing nice jokes
  #9717  
Old 18-02-2019, 07:17 AM
MPLover MPLover is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by etsys View Post


One for the road .
this one is good, great share.
  #9718  
Old 18-02-2019, 08:46 AM
Ongbakak Ongbakak is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane88 View Post
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a shrink and told him: “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?”
“Eighty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I'll sleep on it,” I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.
“Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00.
A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck!”
“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”
“He told me to cut the damn legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.”
It's always better to get a second opinion.
Nice one bro, thanks!!
  #9719  
Old 18-02-2019, 12:51 PM
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Hurricane88 Hurricane88 is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Wife jokes

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  #9720  
Old 18-02-2019, 12:51 PM
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Hurricane88 Hurricane88 is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Baldy jokes

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