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  #61  
Old 21-01-2013, 12:40 AM
gotnotime gotnotime is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

Quote:
Originally Posted by SammyNewbie View Post
I like to fall back on real live events to do that, relying on my linguistical flair and descriptive technique to do it when the wind does not blow.

I think it lacks... that urgency and horniness you normally have when you are having sex. Try to think back about what sort of urgent sex you were fantasizing about while you DIY or get it on.

What unusual places did you think of doing it on at home. On a desk? On the couch? In the shower? Where were you doing it in your fantasies? Think about those and describe the urgent feelings.

Also, not enough details. Is she already naked? Are u so horny that u slipped your hands up her shirt already but haven't removed it? Have you pulled it off? What's she wearing? A skirt? Shorts? What about what's underneath? Is it gone already?

Where's she sitting? Beside you? On top of you? Are you leaning towards her how and pushing her halfway down to a missionary position?
Quote:
Originally Posted by BMW69 View Post
You're talking about the girl from your other story now I assume? And sammynewbie is right.
Indeed, that's what is lacking, but I already gotnotime to edit coz I need to return to camp.

And yes, it's about her. I really miss her..
  #62  
Old 21-01-2013, 12:46 AM
BMW69 BMW69 is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

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Originally Posted by gotnotime View Post
Indeed, that's what is lacking, but I already gotnotime to edit coz I need to return to camp.

And yes, it's about her. I really miss her..
Bro, next weekend the three of us go eat sushi la. that'll cheer you up. With you and your tamago, you seem like a sushi person
  #63  
Old 21-01-2013, 12:51 AM
gotnotime gotnotime is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

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Originally Posted by BMW69 View Post
Bro, next weekend the three of us go eat sushi la. that'll cheer you up. With you and your tamago, you seem like a sushi person
I'm fine with anything, pm me when it's closer to the weekend aye.
Gonna rest up before returning to camp, goodnight everyone.
  #64  
Old 21-01-2013, 12:54 AM
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Re: Fucking rival

I think your mood is affecting your writing. I have that happen to me alot too.

You should take a break for as long as you want until you are ready. The negative emotions and pain are preventing you from writing properly. Anyway, as much as you'd disappoint your readers, I think it's doing them a disservice if you write them crap. Take J.K Rowling as a good example of what I mean

If you choose to continue, you're going to need to rely alot more on the techniques I taught you, and alot of edits to carry you through. Remember the techniques I taught you via PM .

Edit : Haha... Tomago? Three of us? If it's me, I'm fine to meet up. But I'm not sure what the context is XD

Last edited by SammyNewbie; 21-01-2013 at 12:57 AM. Reason: Ninja'ed by a BMW!
  #65  
Old 21-01-2013, 09:08 PM
gotnotime gotnotime is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

Author's notes: Why are Monday blues named as such, and not red, yellow, or green?

There was an oddly nice smell from the very same hole I licked, and it turned me on even more as we stripped down to our birthday suits on her bed. It was my first time seeing her fully naked, and it didn't matter that we were sweating even with the air-con on.

My tongue was getting tired from all that licking, and I stopped for awhile to see how she would react, which made her push my head down to pleasure her even more. It was even more arousing for me when she did that, as my tool stood fully in all its glory, leaking precum. I decided to switch from licking to kissing and light sucking, and she caught me totally off guard when she started scratching my shoulders, asking me for more. It didn't take too long before she started having convulsions, and squirted right into my face. It sure made me happy to know that she came without me taking her first time away, and we lay on the bed, spooning to a song called 'Navigate me' by Cute is what we aim for. (For those who never heard the song, )

Val: That sure felt good.. but something is still hard and strong hor? *Guides my tool to her entrance
Me: You don't say..

With that, I thrusted my smaller head into her gently, aware of the fact that I'm her first guy. I repeated this, teasing her slowly and sensually, until she suddenly grabbed my butt from the back and pushed my shaft in, breaking her hymen instantly. I could literally feel her grit her teeth trying to endure the pain.

It was then that I realised something, I didn't use the condoms that I bought!
Needless to say, it was pure ecstasy for me, as I started humping her slowly sideways on the bed. Her very tight and wet snatch felt really pleasurable without any rubber barrier, and I managed to get her to ride me.

However, being the first-timer that I am, I lasted barely 10 mins, as the sight of her perky boobs bouncing with her ride with her tight and wet enclosure brought a different sensation to me. For the first time, I felt my balls tightening and preparing to fire into her, and as she leaned forward to kiss me, I fired my first virgin shot into her. I wasn't sure how much I cummed, but it sure was stimulating see my cum drip out of her when she got off me..
  #66  
Old 21-01-2013, 10:30 PM
BMW69 BMW69 is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

Quote:
Originally Posted by SammyNewbie View Post
Edit : Haha... Tomago? Three of us? If it's me, I'm fine to meet up. But I'm not sure what the context is XD
Hahaha very funny reason for editing. Hmm no la just some food to cheer TS up? Idk just a suggestion.
  #67  
Old 21-01-2013, 10:40 PM
gotnotime gotnotime is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

Quote:
Originally Posted by BMW69 View Post
Hahaha very funny reason for editing. Hmm no la just some food to cheer TS up? Idk just a suggestion.
Hahha I'm okay with anything, seems like work and writing has gotten me back to normal for now..
I propose that we should have something like a writer's guild in sbf, where writers meet every now and then to share tips and concepts for new stories also XD
  #68  
Old 21-01-2013, 10:43 PM
Cherrygen Cherrygen is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

hee, (; on ur bed? + u + u
  #69  
Old 21-01-2013, 10:46 PM
BMW69 BMW69 is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

Quote:
Originally Posted by gotnotime View Post
Hahha I'm okay with anything, seems like work and writing has gotten me back to normal for now..
I propose that we should have something like a writer's guild in sbf, where writers meet every now and then to share tips and concepts for new stories also XD
Hmm haha not good to meet strangers you know online. Perhaps one or 2 that we are more comfortable with or something.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherrygen View Post
hee, (; on ur bed? + u + u
Hehehe want to join us sis? But perhaps it'll be a more PG session than on his bed la. unless you're interested in a 3p?
  #70  
Old 21-01-2013, 10:50 PM
gotnotime gotnotime is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherrygen View Post
hee, (; on ur bed? + u + u
Now now, which bed are we talking about? I've got my bed at home, and my bed in camp XD
Pretty kinky to have fun in army camp aye, gonna experiment writing that in the next few chapters to come :P
  #71  
Old 21-01-2013, 10:52 PM
gotnotime gotnotime is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

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Originally Posted by BMW69 View Post
Hmm haha not good to meet strangers you know online. Perhaps one or 2 that we are more comfortable with or something.

Indeed, met a few people from here and they're pretty nice too..


Hehehe want to join us sis? But perhaps it'll be a more PG session than on his bed la. unless you're interested in a 3p?
Why would it be a PG session on my bed?!
  #72  
Old 21-01-2013, 10:57 PM
BMW69 BMW69 is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

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Originally Posted by gotnotime View Post
Why would it be a PG session on my bed?!
Haha no I meant meet for a makan session. Something more PG than it would be if it's ok your bed.
  #73  
Old 21-01-2013, 11:02 PM
gotnotime gotnotime is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

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Originally Posted by BMW69 View Post
Haha no I meant meet for a makan session. Something more PG than it would be if it's ok your bed.
Oops! Read your ppst wrongly lol, one of my typical 'Shag Cannot Think' moments lol.
  #74  
Old 21-01-2013, 11:03 PM
BMW69 BMW69 is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

Quote:
Originally Posted by gotnotime View Post
Oops! Read your ppst wrongly lol, one of my typical 'Shag Cannot Think' moments lol.
Haha shag must read my story and PCC
  #75  
Old 21-01-2013, 11:06 PM
gotnotime gotnotime is offline
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Re: Fucking rival

Quote:
Originally Posted by BMW69 View Post
Haha shag must read my story and PCC
Mai la mai la. That'd be even more shag lol XD Come to think of it, my commanders back during my recruit days told me that it's a chargeable offence to pcc in camp.
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