Wife & Sex - going through the motion

[chums]

Originally Posted by gent

Work is just excuses to reject. Even if she no need to work and stay at home, I doubt they will agree to guys request. I have heard all sort of excuses until I dont even want to try.. give up.

Yup agreed. Work was never an excuse during the courtship days, why should that be the case now?
It's the novelty that is missing.

[Hotcoffee]

Originally Posted by gent

Work is just excuses to reject. Even if she no need to work and stay at home, I doubt they will agree to guys request. I have heard all sort of excuses until I dont even want to try.. give up.

I strongly agree with you. My wife even weekend or on leave also no mood to ML.

I also give up liao. Talk too much she will question back 'is sex everything? is sex important?' Her energy all spend at work. The fuck every night sleep at 10pm.

[bernardlee]

How true is that! Agreed 100 percent. Someone should have told me all these before I signed the marriage cert. Regret / cry also no use.

货不对版！女人是善变.

Originally Posted by analog

Hey Bro:

At least you're getting some!!!
Many are getting nothing.

Women are really evil in this sense....
Their entire job, obligation, is to have sex with their husband. That is what a marriage license is, a document consenting to have sex with this man.

Sigh....life.

Note to all young guys, I know, i know...your GF today is a slut, she complains you can't fuck enough or often enough, she sucks your cock, takes it up the ass everything, you're in bliss. You buy a ring, you get engaged....life is great. After you get engaged sex gets even better, you are in heaven all is great, You get married, and your screwing her in every room in your new flat every day of the week, TWICE a day, its all good. She gets pregnant, you're both happy, after all, you're married. Its all good, sex continues through the pregnancy, then the baby is born, happy, happy, happy.......and it never comes back. You wait, you're a patient, modern sensitive guy, she has to heal you say to your self, 2 months, 4 months, 6 months a year.....when is she going to heal? Why she not interested any more etc....

Then she decides she wants another baby, she rapes you for a few months until she gets pregnant again, then she shuts off. Not like first time when you fucked all through the pregnancy. This time she doesn't let you touch her....and the cycle repeats.

And this is how life is with a Singaporean wife my friends. And young boys who are still in the GF/BF stage, save your advice. You have no idea how that little slut you have for a GF right now will change once you marry her and she has a kid. You simply have NO IDEA!

I went to a marriage course when I was a teenager, church related thing, married priest (yes, there are such things) and he said this:
"Couples marry with the man thinking his wife will never change and the woman thinking she will change her future husband. They're both wrong."

How true that has turned out to be.

I'm hoping once the kids get a bit older she comes back. By she I mean the woman I married because the woman I am with now is not who I married. But there is nothing any of us can do about it. Its enough to drive a man to drink....and many do.

Cheers,
jim

[bernardlee]

Originally Posted by Rickey

According to wat i understand...one of the reasons is tat they always say they are tired after the whole day's activities n need to hv enough sleep to be able to work the next day..o/w they will be like zombies in their offices...so they will tell their MAN, "pls don disturb me..let me hv my sleep" ..sex is the least of their needs or priorities...to them to be able to work is more impt than having sex...tis is the result of the stress of daily living here in sg...so the solution may be to employ maids to do the housework for them, so they can be relieved of the household chores n may become more relax n approachable to sex...but thankfully there are still gals like sluttymistress who knows tat sex is enjoyable n is meant to be enjoyed at every available opportunity...can any other sis confirm tis ??

At one point, I actually consider hiring a maid. But later decided to do all the housework myself. Also no use. No sex!!!

I found that once a woman has children, her focus will be on the children.

If I ask for sex, she will said I am a pervert.

What am I going to do?

This is serious. I do not intend to be a monk for the rest of my life.

[obeyyodude]

woah, after reading all the posts i feel scared, been with my gf for 2 years plus already also no sex, only got kiss, and we both mid twenties also...sia lah, if married still celibate i won't know what to do...

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by gent

Work is just excuses to reject. Even if she no need to work and stay at home, I doubt they will agree to guys request. I have heard all sort of excuses until I dont even want to try.. give up.

Originally Posted by chums

Yup agreed. Work was never an excuse during the courtship days, why should that be the case now?
It's the novelty that is missing.

Originally Posted by Hotcoffee

I strongly agree with you. My wife even weekend or on leave also no mood to ML.

I also give up liao. Talk too much she will question back 'is sex everything? is sex important?' Her energy all spend at work. The fuck every night sleep at 10pm.

Oh my Gosh, why all these women are all like tat 1 !! ...empathise wif all the many, many bros affected both here in tis forum n outside...they are really asking for trouble themselves..definitely can't blame the men when they go find FLs, WLs or other women outside if they behave tis way at home to their HBs...dun they treasure their husbands or at least their marriage ??..they will only come crying when they finally find out their husband's betrayal n reeking for revenge n divorce..isn't it a bit too late then..sigh.

Originally Posted by bernardlee

How true is that! Agreed 100 percent. Someone should have told me all these before I signed the marriage cert. Regret / cry also no use.

货不对版！女人是善变.

Originally Posted by bernardlee

At one point, I actually consider hiring a maid. But later decided to do all the housework myself. Also no use. No sex!!!

I found that once a woman has children, her focus will be on the children.

If I ask for sex, she will said I am a pervert.

What am I going to do?
This is serious. I do not intend to be a monk for the rest of my life.

Well said, bro..n i empathise wif u tat its too late for you in a way...but its not jus abt work, they are tired by housework n handling family matters which takes up a lot of time, energy n concentration to a come to a decision.. but generally, having a maid shd be very helpful to free them of stress of daily living during work n back home n make them more willing to hv sex...

Originally Posted by obeyyodude

woah, after reading all the posts i feel scared, been with my gf for 2 years plus already also no sex, only got kiss, and we both mid twenties also...sia lah, if married still celibate i won't know what to do...

So to you, bro n all others like you who intend to be married 1 day...choose a gf who is REALLY horny...o/w u hv to be prepared to live a life of SEXLESS marriage tgt for the rest of ur lives...good luck !..my 3 cents worth

[compaq]

i guess this prob quite common hor? i'm married myself, 2 kids. not that bad lah, still get sex once awhile but the feeling quite different lah. like the bro said just going through standard procedures.

haizz...

[5ag1_Boar]

Just some thoughts:

1. A lot of women focus on kids and neglect husband. I find this is an attitude. If they feel sex is important in their marriage, they will make time for it. If they remember their husband is also important, they will make time for him. It's a matter of priorities. Unfortunately, many women only prioritise their children, then work responsibility, then husband. They expect their hubbies to be supportive and let them rest, help with housework, etc... but they forget they also need to be supportive of their hubby and relationship. This of course can apply vice versa, some men also focus on feeding wife and children and career, they forget to sayang their wives and children.

I am always amazed by those women who can balance career, kids, husband and personal needs. Really is Super Woman. They also tend to be high flyers... I'm out their league. LOL!!! But I'm happy enough with someone who puts me, kids and herself on the same high priority.

I know some cases where after divorce, the woman wake up and realise that not only they neglected ex-husband, they also neglected themselves and decide to give themselves some priority. Then they start to dress nicely, diet and/or exercise, put on make up, buy nice clothes, lingerie, arrange babysitting so they can go out with gfs or date new men. Last time, simply cannot let go of their children. In most cases, they realise the irony, although sometimes reluctantly. Unfortunately, for a few, the attitude is still "I want to show him what HE is missing!" *pengz*

2. Sex with same person, the same way will become boring after years. That is a given. As couples, we have to work to spice it up. With my fiancee of a few years, it is starting to feel SOP. Then the other day she blindfolded me and gave me BJ... the sensation is much more enhanced when you cannot see what's going on and your are not allowed to touch (of course I return the favour in kind). We are already taking about soft bondage when our own home is ready. Made we realise that it is not really that hard to enhance our sex lives.

3. Making love is also more fun when we go stay-cation or vacation. Simply having the time and luxury to connect, play and seduce makes the otherwise SOP sex more fun. Nicer bed, wake up later, well rested and better mood. No need to lower volume in case family/neighbour hear us. No work stress lingering in the mind. No rush to get dressed, can just cuddle and nap naked in each other arms.

4. Behave like an affair. Sometimes when I know my fiancee is at home on leave, I will purposely arrange my work or take half day leave just so I can go over and ML with her... as if we're having an affair. It is not as "exciting" as a real affair, but it feels better then SOP. Plus her family not at home, so we can really take our time and be more uninhibited.

2, 3 and 4 can only apply if 1 is not the situation or has been resolved.

I've said this a few times here and there in SBF. Consider marriage counselling even if you are NOT at the verge of divorce. I've personally experienced it... some people will listen to and believe neutral 3rd party "professionals" (i.e. marriage counsellors) more then they do to their life partner. You need someone else to tell your other half that sex is THAT important.

[blacken]

Looks like i'm not the only person facing this problem.
During our 6 years of dating there are no sex between us and the most will be only HJ and i thought after marriage will be a enjoyable sex life for both of us. But i'm wrong we have a routine sex which she lay there and i pump her until i come and after she gave birth we just have sex maybe once in 2 months and i know she's doing it for the sake of doing.
A question to all the bro and sis, Is that wrong if we eat outside just to satisfy our needs? we bonk and we go home..

[ch1818]

Originally Posted by blacken

Looks like i'm not the only person facing this problem.
During our 6 years of dating there are no sex between us and the most will be only HJ and i thought after marriage will be a enjoyable sex life for both of us. But i'm wrong we have a routine sex which she lay there and i pump her until i come and after she gave birth we just have sex maybe once in 2 months and i know she's doing it for the sake of doing.
A question to all the bro and sis, Is that wrong if we eat outside just to satisfy our needs? we bonk and we go home..

No right or wrong, just do whatever you want cos in the end you will have to be responsible for your own act

[ch1818]

Originally Posted by gent

Work is just excuses to reject. Even if she no need to work and stay at home, I doubt they will agree to guys request. I have heard all sort of excuses until I dont even want to try.. give up.

Rise two hands to agreed with you lah....
Full of excuses for them and like you i have given up too.

[bernardlee]

So you guys just hang on to a sexless / or minimal sex marriage?

[joncheong]

This is a typical singapore women problem... They dun want sex means no want sex, they dun give face or care about their hubbies' needs... They tell the man.. You go out eat la, get caught we divorce and you split assets with me and pay maintenance for the rest of your life.... As a hubby... Lan pa pa lan.... Own self pcc lor....

This is not the case of women even from big cities like shanghai or seoul... They still have sex with their hubbies though it's stressful there as well... But they are brought up differently....

I feel damn blessed that i did not marry a singapore woman...

[bernardlee]

How to maintain such a sexless relationship and own self doing pcc all the time.

[cwstevie]

Originally Posted by compaq

i guess this prob quite common hor? i'm married myself, 2 kids. not that bad lah, still get sex once awhile but the feeling quite different lah. like the bro said just going through standard procedures.

haizz...

same for me.... that is if i even get to sleep on the same bed as the wife as the kids demand for her to sleep with them. Sigh