woes of a tirak

[Hakoshu]

Haha, in tat case i will have more confidence... But i'm really interesting wrking in LOS...... Not gigolo hor(Cos no OKT)

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

Maybe few years later we have SB Indon, SB Vietnam and SB Malaysia. Siao Siao, expand into Asean countries huh!

[Bangkok Master]

Originally Posted by ruhua

If give birth to a son better ship back to Singapore if not the son can lim whiskey together with me.

If ask my son to lim whiskey with you, later become prince of MPs from student become sexton.....hahaha

[ruhua]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

If ask my son to lim whiskey with you, later become prince of MPs from student become sexton.....hahaha

Hahahaha. Don't worry I'll take good care of your son until I have my own. Then they can become cheong buddies. How? Got any good 'reproductive machines' to recommend?

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by free

Setting aside the issue of existing WL/FL, ex-WL/FL or whatever, this is a role that is synonymous with most TGs, and if you ask me, it applies SG in those old days as well. The question is how much is the burden. Is it bearable? or is it way out?

A lot depends on the tirak. Is she able to differentiate between their needs and wants? I believe that as both draw closer and really start to plan the future together, these issues must become part of the discussions. If not, something is not quite right. Surely she must be interested in whether her man can take the strain if she truly loves him? Is she even trying to seek a balance here? Or does the TG just throws the problem to her man (and if he can't take it, then the next man)? If that is the common thing for TGs to do (dun care whether her man can take it or not), then I think I am really chok dee - at least up till now.

I think many heard befor of this chinese saying. If you marry a poor girl, you have to work harder for 20 years. If you marry a rich girl, you do not need to work the extra 20 years.

In sg, many girls are more educated and many hold good jobs. With singapore's lifestyle, it ain't hard to see the couple both working to maintain the household. In thailand, with the WL's education status, its harder for them to find a decent job that pays well. In the 1st place, thats why they are in the flesh trade.

So the man eventually have to decide which route he wants to choose, work harder for 20 years or work less. So if you decide to marry a girl who work in the flesh trade before, one will have to decide in future there is a high possibility he one person earn, many people eat.

SC

[free]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

So the man eventually have to decide which route he wants to choose, work harder for 20 years or work less. So if you decide to marry a girl who work in the flesh trade before, one will have to decide in future there is a high possibility he one person earn, many people eat.

SC

Agree wholeheartedly, That is why I think bros who have tiraks who were ex-whatever they were must observe very carefully (if not be brutal with oneself) whether the family has accepted a lower standard of living where money doesn't "float" in easily like in the past, whether they are greng jai enough to realise their daughter got her own life and future she as to lead. Sure I believe many parents will continue to be blood suckers and keep asking for more, but I also know of others who appreciated what they already had and everyone chip in to make the best of things. And if they have already done that for close to a year or so, I think they can make it.

I don;t have much experience, and I cannot speak for everyone. For myself, having stood in the midst of old houses, and seeing the sporadic "mansions" around, I know how it feels to be envious if one stays in the old but still liveable houses, and yet wish to be in possesion of one of those "nice" ones. Utimately, the conscience and core values of that person standing there has to come into play. If that person can stand up tall, proud that he is doing his honest best and to be poor is nothing to be shy about, he can still be greng jai. Having met both types (neighbours), I can certainly tell the difference.

Interestingly one guy is contented with his lot, works hard (even tries to do his wife's work), cares for his family while the other guy lets his wife do most of the work while he smokes & lazes around and is half-dunk much of the time, always complaining why must life for so hard for him. Very distinct differences, I must say. Where does the tirak's family fall into? It is a significant point to consider?

Most importantly, the TG herself plays the biggest part. Is her love for her family the blind type or the open-eyes type? Will she carry on selling herself or squeezing the one she loves till they breakup to provide luxuries whenthey are not needed or will she realise she has done her part to provide the fundamentals/capital and they have to take care of their "operating expenses" and live within their means? And that she has to take care of her husband & their own future? Not that there will be no more help for the family, but it will have to be weigh against what is affordable by the 2 of them.

With the former, there is little hope for her tirak unless his pocket is deep. Woe be to the ordinary guy if his tirak is in this category. But for the latter, believe that there is hope yet.

[suteerak1099]

yes indeed, very valid pointers n advise. i have to agree and say that those r also issues that have been brewing my dilema in thoughts. there's always a fear of making the wrong move, n being taken for granted as a walking ATM, not only for the TG, bt also for the family.. or worse.. the entire village.

comparison between SgG vs TG:

i'd have to say.. there's generally some significant differences in some perspectives. GENERALLY, our SgG though literate n financially sound, still have the tendency of bearing the mentality that the breadwinner has gotta be the man of the house, yet having double standards that the man must share the load of housechores, support in monetary terms for her family. of cos not saying that we guys dun lift a finger in domestic matters - ie: plumbing/fixing things etc still counts (bt gals dun normally see the credibility in it) ... some dunno how to satisfy the man in bed (which indirectly contributes to more patrons in the streets in GL too), let alone bear kids for the man. if fortunate enuff, have kids... the kid would most likely be brought up by an foreign maid or some nanny neighbour. dont be too suprised, cos this is fast becoming a norm and will be carved as part of our SG culture of child upbringing.

TG though less literate/illiterate, when married (some) with integrity & true love - takes on the responsibilities of domestic chores, nursing/tending to kids etc. demands for some errands to be done in & for the house still is inevitable. more financial burden if reliant on the man as sole breadwinner, but if expenditure is reasonable...the family unit in general would be less problematic.

of cos nt everyday is sunday, there're times where things less fortunate take place. squabbles of financial issues would still surface. bt comparing the 2 different countries, background & culture...

most family units in sg r less happy. husband & wife both have issues of financial matters(tyring to make ends meet - let alone dreams of living the hi-life)...both have same set of issues to say to each other etc. all efforts invested.. is just sufficient in leading the plain n simple life. anything more, would probably drain the living daylight outta the couple.

while in the thai context, man fulfill his duties in feeding the family &/or extended family, while woman fulfills her duty in the house. normal daily living standards r met, with little or not much to worry about. only asking for more, such as extravagance/hi-life will then form a problem/rift that kicks off the squabbles. then of cos, it is up to the couple to plan feasible means of realizing the dreams of living the hi-life. just gotta explain to her "jia gin long pua wa" (eat too fast will break the bowl).

life aint a game, but playing Sims helps to unveal some of the harsh facts in life, issues that r quite real n takes planning n actions to make dreams come true.

nevertheless, there's still alot for me to consider n plan about. dunno wat her plans are after her ORD. bt praying damn hard.. that her family wont squander her hard earned $, but spend rationally...last bt certainly not the least, that she'd never have/need to return to this line again.

[peterfish]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

comparison between SgG vs TG:

i'd have to say.. there's generally some significant differences in some perspectives. GENERALLY, our SgG though literate n financially sound, still have the tendency of bearing the mentality that the breadwinner has gotta be the man of the house, yet having double standards that the man must share the load of housechores, support in monetary terms for her family. of cos not saying that we guys dun lift a finger in domestic matters - ie: plumbing/fixing things etc still counts (bt gals dun normally see the credibility in it) ... some dunno how to satisfy the man in bed (which indirectly contributes to more patrons in the streets in GL too), let alone bear kids for the man. if fortunate enuff, have kids... the kid would most likely be brought up by an foreign maid or some nanny neighbour. dont be too suprised, cos this is fast becoming a norm and will be carved as part of our SG culture of child upbringing.

TG though less literate/illiterate, when married (some) with integrity & true love - takes on the responsibilities of domestic chores, nursing/tending to kids etc. demands for some errands to be done in & for the house still is inevitable. more financial burden if reliant on the man as sole breadwinner, but if expenditure is reasonable...the family unit in general would be less problematic.

.

After reading your comments on this topic, I would like to add a few points. There is this chinese saying: One type of rice feeds hundred types of men. In Singapore, most of us are at least secondary level or even A-level or poly educated. We are taught to be individualism and to be goal orientated. Thus we are brough up in a rat race envirnoment whereby only the winners will survive and the losers will fall by the sidelines and live a sub-standard life. In this context, we would tend to look for women who are at least our equal to help to lighten the burden that this ultra-competitive SG envirnoment imposes on us. However when two individualism ppls are brought together, friction will be inevitable and problems like money, family and love will arise. That is because we tends to see things from our points of views (from where we stand).

On the other hands, TGs or should I say the Thai puyings that most bros here have met are usually either WL or FL or lowly educated. In this sense, these women do not have much education to further advance themselves in their and move on to the next level of society. That is why they become FL or WL. Of course we have always heard abt Thai Uni Grad becoming FL to support the family's wants (please read carefully, it is WANTS, not NEEDS.-This is another issue althogether). For those lowly educated Thai Women, they see marriage to a man who can support them as a way to break out of proverty and to help their families. Thus they are more deciated to the family unit as that is what they can clinge on to. For SG women, they don't see it that way. They have the skill to survive on their own, independent of the family unit.

In conclusion, it is not fair to compare SG and TG with different educational levels and backgrounds. It is like comparing apples with oranges. In fact, a Thai puying who is highly educated would be no different from a highly educated SG woman.

[peterfish]

Originally Posted by free

Interestingly one guy is contented with his lot, works hard (even tries to do his wife's work), cares for his family while the other guy lets his wife do most of the work while he smokes & lazes around and is half-dunk much of the time, always complaining why must life for so hard for him. Very distinct differences, I must say. Where does the tirak's family fall into? It is a significant point to consider?

Most importantly, the TG herself plays the biggest part. Is her love for her family the blind type or the open-eyes type? Will she carry on selling herself or squeezing the one she loves till they breakup to provide luxuries whenthey are not needed or will she realise she has done her part to provide the fundamentals/capital and they have to take care of their "operating expenses" and live within their means? And that she has to take care of her husband & their own future? Not that there will be no more help for the family, but it will have to be weigh against what is affordable by the 2 of them.

With the former, there is little hope for her tirak unless his pocket is deep. Woe be to the ordinary guy if his tirak is in this category. But for the latter, believe that there is hope yet.

Basically the TG has been "brainwashed" since young to place the family in the first spot above all else. This is the teaching of the Buddha. In the lands of smiles where Buddhism is so prevalent and so deeply entrenched, such teachings have become the way of life. To help the family, the easiest way is to sell one's body. Such families are always poor in the first place so education as a mena to break the proverty cycle is not an option for most of them. Furthermore educating a daughter will take many years which the family can't afford to wait. Also even if the daugther is eventually educated, the moment she marries, what she earned will go to the man and his immediate family. So what they do? The parents don't force their daugther. They used the soft approach and "physco" the girl into doing it willingly. The gals will most probably worked for a few years, earned some money for the family to indulge in wants like a motorcycle, a Jeep or some cheap house. When the gal retired, she will most probably marry a poor farmer or a average blue collar Thai guy who know that he is getting an "used" good that many men had used before but one he knows will care for the family.

There are few cases of forced prostitution in Thailand. Most of the gals knew what they will be getting into, the moment they decided to open their legs for anyone who has got money. We need not pity them. In layman term, they were informed of the job description before they signed up for it.

[peterfish]

Originally Posted by peterfish2.0

Dont worry. We will not penalise you or zap you.

I will forgive you even if you scold my mother. The past is the past, why the need to bear grudges.

OMG. Even if he scold you and called you a MF who fucked his own mother, you still can forgive him? If I were your mother, I would have aborted you when I still had the chance.

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by peterfish

OMG. Even if he scold you and called you a MF who fucked his own mother, you still can forgive him? If I were your mother, I would have aborted you when I still had the chance.

You have the following choices
1. To forgive and forget
2. To forgive and not forget
3. Not to forgive but forget
4. Not to forgive and never to forget

BUT if you are taking this opportunity to bring out old scores and history books, then I think you better go and start another thread somewhere else to talk about the past and settle your differences.

SC

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by sex maniac

Mr. siamcutey,

I have already apologised to all parties. Please do not kaypoh and get involved. It will only make matters worse. As long as you don't kaypoh. I'll let you scold my mother also can. Thank you for your cooperation.

I don't care what is between you and him and not interested to kaypoh. Just telling him to bring differences elsewhere and keep to thread topic.

SC

[peterfish]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

You have the following choices
1. To forgive and forget
2. To forgive and not forget
3. Not to forgive but forget
4. Not to forgive and never to forget

BUT if you are taking this opportunity to bring out old scores and history books, then I think you better go and start another thread somewhere else to talk about the past and settle your differences.

SC

I am not taking the opportunity to settle old scores. Also it is easy to say forgive and forget. Look at China and Japan. More than 50 years already. Still the same. That is human nature. I am not a saint so I can't act as one.

[peterfish]

Originally Posted by peterfish2.0

peterfish is still waiting for a public apology from you for scolding his mother.
.

You meant that if someone scolded and hurled abusive vulgarities at your own mother, you feel nothing?

[peterfish]

Originally Posted by peterfish2.0

If you have a personal feud with sexmaniac, I suggest you open a thread somewhere else as siamcutey has suggested and battle it out there with him.

Why havent you done so and continue posting your grievances in an unrelated thread?

L6H66 dark horse in the... 25-04-2005 06:25 PM for me to know, for you to find out. pf2.0
Let me quote your comments which you left in my comment box. It is for me to know why I continuce to post here and for you to find out. By the way, what have you contribute so far? You not happy with PF, then open a new thread and why haven't you done so and continue posting your grievances with PF in an unrelated thread?

[peterfish]

Originally Posted by peterfish2.0

Since you asked me a question here, I will reply you here. send me a pm and I will reply u in pm.

Do you want me to open a thread for you since you dont want to do it?

Whatever. You want to tell me something, just say so. No need to PM here or PM there. You are nothing but a nuisance like your real self. You are on my ignore list.