Q & A: Taking a 2nd wife...

[Floss]

TS,

There are so many questions:
- Do you have kids?
- Why did your old flame suddenly "came back" to you?
- Are you finacially capable to support "2 families"?
- Do you know how disadvantage guys are in Singapore thanks to Women's Charter?

Not to sound rude, but how old are you?

[Hydra]

Have you told your wife about your intentions ? What was her reactions ?

If you have children already, then better not. Since the other lady cannot be a legal second wife, why not just be a mistress or some sorts. Easier for everyone and less problems.

[brokuan0]

Originally Posted by goodpartner

I've no experience in this but it does sound interesting to me
So we're not talking about any legality issues here, just tri-habitating with consents.

Well to me you have half the battle won (old gf agreed).

Since they know each other, if I read you correctly, maybe try convincing your old gf to talk to your wife without your presence? Tell your old gf to "indemnify" you as if the idea cums from her and not you, and that she has bumped into you by chance and developed that feeling for you, and has not discussed with you. Paint a sob story like she's getting old and lonely without plan to look for another man, blah blah... see how she can benefit your wife with her in the house (e.g. can serve her, or bear you child if your wife can't, etc.).

Basically, let the women talk. If it fails, you can still claim innocent
That is what I'll do if I'm in your "lucky" position

Thank you for the suggestion, really appreciate that. Guess its best to let the women talk it out. How do i get them to start the topic?

I appeciate suggestions/inputs from seniors so that any brothers out there who hope to take a 2nd wife could also too.

Lets change the mindset of having only one wife.

Objectives:-
I am looking for ideas on how to approach my wife on taking a 2nd wife.

Limitations:-
asset divison? we will discuss that later on when we cross the bridge..

[yangguo]

Originally Posted by brokuan0

Hi guys,

Anyone has approach the wife & ask whether can take another?

Bro TS, the answer is obvious. Just put yourself into her shoe.

If she comes to you and tell you:

"Dear, I have a boyfriend and you also know him, do you mind if he becomes my 2nd husband?"

[brokuan0]

Originally Posted by Floss

TS,

There are so many questions:
- Do you have kids?
- Why did your old flame suddenly "came back" to you?
- Are you finacially capable to support "2 families"?
- Do you know how disadvantage guys are in Singapore thanks to Women's Charter?

Not to sound rude, but how old are you?

u sound pessimistic but will reply just to ans yr queries

I am 30 this year & have 2 kids.
This old girlfriend were friends of both of us & we were once together in between the dating periods of my wife during courtship. Lets discuss future/objectives as its useless going into history details.

I do not intend to regard women's charter as a barrier to my objective. I believe things can be worked out & accomdated upon.

Love to hear more suggestions & sucess stories. Thank you.

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by brokuan0

Guess its best to let the women talk it out. How do i get them to start the topic?

Didn't you say they know each other?
Well, if they've not met for a long while, just ask your GF to date her out for a catch-up. Really depends on the situation... your current r/s with your wife, her mentality about such things, her/your family's objections, etc.

30yo is very young! If both your wife and GF are in the twenties, it's going to be a big challenge man! Initially I tot can just cite aging as an excuse to keep another companion - you know your wife best - just like in any negotiation, you need to understand the objections and plan how to sell your idea.

I admire your courage to take this up despite all the naysayings here. Do keep us posted on the progress and good luck!

[cinos74]

Since ya gf dun mind being no2...
Why not keep everything going as a mistress/FB? why must have title meh.
You can handle 2wives boh..

Look at Stanley ho. One CNY dinner got to run here n there . What abt birthdays.. Valentine day... X mas..

[ATAP]

Originally Posted by cinos74

Since ya gf dun mind being no2...
Why not keep everything going as a mistress/FB? why must have title meh.
You can handle 2wives boh..

Look at Stanley ho. One CNY dinner got to run here n there . What abt birthdays.. Valentine day... X mas..

Having the second lover as a hidden mistress, you will felt very sorry for her as you need to find chances to attend to her in order to hide from your wife. During Valentine Day, Christmas Day or if your mistress fall sick, what excuse can you give your wife to attend her and kept it secret? Unless your wife know you got this mistress then different story. But then, the relationship between you and your wife will turn sour.

What TS want is to celebrate Valentine and Christmas Days together.

[brokuan0]

Originally Posted by goodpartner

Didn't you say they know each other?
Well, if they've not met for a long while, just ask your GF to date her out for a catch-up. Really depends on the situation... your current r/s with your wife, her mentality about such things, her/your family's objections, etc.

30yo is very young! If both your wife and GF are in the twenties, it's going to be a big challenge man! Initially I tot can just cite aging as an excuse to keep another companion - you know your wife best - just like in any negotiation, you need to understand the objections and plan how to sell your idea.

I admire your courage to take this up despite all the naysayings here. Do keep us posted on the progress and good luck!

I have known a few with 2 wives even thou the 2nd is not registered.
From my circle, 1 is sg, 2 malaysians, 2 chinese & 1 taiwanese.
My surveys have shown most were proposed by the head of the household. Eg. The father, mum or the husband himself. The whole process involves quantifying if there is a budget for the 2nd wife expenses, adaption to the existing household & obeying the 1st wife(The most difficult issue).

The family enviroment also plays a part in attaining the objective. These are all natural things to keep us feeling motivated in life.

I have approached my parents about it & green light is obtain.

[tomyamramee]

nothing can be shared...

once you do that, you will have the whole world hate you...

even if you are prepared for this, i recommend you better not get into it...

[newyorker88]

Originally Posted by brokuan0

I have known a few with 2 wives even thou the 2nd is not registered.
From my circle, 1 is sg, 2 malaysians, 2 chinese & 1 taiwanese.
My surveys have shown most were proposed by the head of the household. Eg. The father, mum or the husband himself. The whole process involves quantifying if there is a budget for the 2nd wife expenses, adaption to the existing household & obeying the 1st wife(The most difficult issue).

The family enviroment also plays a part in attaining the objective. These are all natural things to keep us feeling motivated in life.

I have approached my parents about it & green light is obtain.

In the first place, why you need a second wife when you got the first. You also know very well about singapore laws. and woman charter. Lets be truthful about it. You even mention about getting her to obey your current wife, which is difficult.

No woman would want to share her husband with other woman. You also mention that you got 2 kids. It will be painful for your kids to see your wife heartbroken or distressed over the 2nd.

And I am surprised at your greenlight given by your parents. Unless there is a problem that you face with your current wife, and you are not willing to divorce for the sake of children. Perhaps a better solution is to locate her to another house. Come back to this house as a father to this family of yours. As for the 2nd wife, if you got kids in the future, remember that they need a marriage cert for many things including birth cert.

I hope you can think and plan carefully before making the next move.

[Floss]

Originally Posted by brokuan0

I have known a few with 2 wives even thou the 2nd is not registered.
From my circle, 1 is sg, 2 malaysians, 2 chinese & 1 taiwanese.
My surveys have shown most were proposed by the head of the household. Eg. The father, mum or the husband himself. The whole process involves quantifying if there is a budget for the 2nd wife expenses, adaption to the existing household & obeying the 1st wife(The most difficult issue).

The family enviroment also plays a part in attaining the objective. These are all natural things to keep us feeling motivated in life.

I have approached my parents about it & green light is obtain.

Your parents have agreed?!?!

You really champion sia. Wish you all the best and do keep us updated.

[orneryjoe]

TS....

If you are a Muslim, then it is possible.

If not, then you would be committing the offence of bigamy. If your wife complains, you could be jailed.

[owl888]

Originally Posted by brokuan0

I have known a few with 2 wives even thou the 2nd is not registered.
From my circle, 1 is sg, 2 malaysians, 2 chinese & 1 taiwanese.
My surveys have shown most were proposed by the head of the household. Eg. The father, mum or the husband himself. The whole process involves quantifying if there is a budget for the 2nd wife expenses, adaption to the existing household & obeying the 1st wife(The most difficult issue).

The family enviroment also plays a part in attaining the objective. These are all natural things to keep us feeling motivated in life.

I have approached my parents about it & green light is obtain.

Ya, if u got ur 2nd wife. Scarly, one day u met with another ex-lover wanted to b your 3rd wife, then how??? This is never ending rite?

So better keep all happy status quo. No pt getting yourself into complications.

[andyyy]

possible to convert to islam and legally go by syariah law in Singapore to marry more wives?