Would you marry a divorcee?

[icecum]

Dear TS ask yourself :

Do u mind her past ?
Do u mind she's Divorce?
Do u really love her?
Do u really want to have a family with her?
Is this what u want for your Future?

If all the ans it YES then go for it......

If out of 5 Q 3 no then u should know what the ans in ur heart liao.....

Don't Forget there might be even more Q in your own heart, and the only Ans you have it in your own heart ok.....

[Alan Ong]

It is not easy because she bring along her own baggages like ex-hubby, children, hurts, etc. Must be prepared to accept her as a package.

[NewMike1304k]

What everyone says is true. Love is not blind and it should not be. We have to consider a lot of things and then weigh whether all the pro outweight the cons or vice versa. Admittedly, marrying a divorcee, especially if she has her own children from a pervious marriage will be an even bigger headache. Imagine when you have your own children, will you be able to be fair to all? And as mentioned before by other bros, she has her own baggage and I am sure you have your own. Can you put them aside and start off with your new life? Sometimes even if you want to, old baggage comes back to haunt all of us.

I wish you good luck.

[Ben77]

Yes, if i really love her though i know there will be a lot of positive/negative factors to consider.

[Max77]

It's not so much about the horse, it depend a lot on the rider. If u can't tame a potentially good horse, could it be that u r not a good rider (yet)?

When u r hungry u eat, when u r tired u rest. When it's time to get married, u will know too. Don't let other influence ur tot so much, afterall u hav oni urself to blame when things were to go wrong in the end (touch wood),

Once u learn how to identify good wife material, 'names' that was given to her is of no important.

For the rest of it, u just need to learn to let go...hope it helps

[_AXL_]

divorcee does not mean bad... sometimes, one must experience failure before knowing how to make a relationship work out. however, some people just dont learn even when they fail many times over.

it is dependent on the person in question, actually. bro TS, if she is right for u, so what if she is a divorcee, even with children??? that is your own obstacle to cross and u have to make that decision yourself. however, in an asian culture, the older generation would disapprove and u have to cross that barrier as well.

i have actually said nothing new here. however, i would like to warn of women who want a divorce but have not gone thru that. many r looking for another "harbour" to dock before they give up their husbands. this would be a messy thing for the new "harbour" as it is human nature to blame it on someone else. the husband might blame u and the woman might also pin the "blame" on u by saying that u treat her better!!! this would be very troublesome. it would be better to commit to these women only after they have sort out their mess on their own.

oh, and divorcees with children might not be looking at suitors with the same requirements as when they were single. she would be looking for a father to her children, good financial stability, etc. as a woman, it is in her nature to take a back seat to her children when it comes to deciding her next marriage target. thus, it would be good to talk it over with a divorcee before u decide whether to commit.

good luck.

[vkoolboi]

Try co-habitating with her first. If you are comfortable (both her and her children, if she has children), then go ahead and marry her.

[hugs]

soon i will under this class of citizens
good to read up what i shd be doing with my future from here

[Xgenre]

This kind of question, where got simple answers like Yes or No and where got standard answers when every situation is different? I think TS just wants to start a discussion and get as many varied opinions as possible. For me, I will not discount this possibility but if she comes with kids... I will seriously be more hesitant.

Because a woman with kids means that her ex-hubby will forever be a part of our lives. No matter what happens, he's always their father and has the right to visit them. I love the mum, I must also love her family. Maybe I'm wrong but I always have the view that divorced parents will try to exert as much influence on their kids as possible. Don't wish to be caught in the middle of an emotional battle for the kids. I don't wish to be seen as the guy who is trying to replace their father in their hearts...

[hugs]

what abt getting full custody for the kids n they are already teens ? will that be easier for any man ? and she works so almost like a double income thingy just like any other normal family except kids not originated from u
(btw the '"she works'" here is referring to me lah) i am going to divorce soon . just wanted to hear what guys' thots are if u dont mind sharing with me

[Xgenre]

Originally Posted by hugs

what abt getting full custody for the kids n they are already teens ? will that be easier for any man ? and she works so almost like a double income thingy just like any other normal family except kids not originated from u
(btw the '"she works'" here is referring to me lah) i am going to divorce soon . just wanted to hear what guys' thots are if u dont mind sharing with me

Sister, so what if you have full custody? The father will still get visitation rights correct? The father will forever be a part of your teenagers's lives. You can't take that away from him as they are still his kids. As a guy, I got to deal with your kids and your ex-hubby for the rest of my life. Depending on how your kids's and ex-hubby's characters are, i may be in for a lot of emotional stress that i can't remove. If your ex-hubby bad-mouth me, I can't bad-mouth him back as they will be closer to him so high chance I'm always on the losing side. It's also going to be hard for your kids as they had grown up seeing father and mother as an item for their entire lives. Now for them to see their mother being in love with another man... may be quite hard to accept and adapt.

[hugs]

my former man has left us for 3.5 yrs now . kids have long forgotten he existed . he wasnt much of a father since they were toddlers . actually they are the one rushing me to get the divorce n move on . teens in this generation are more exposed than my generation . i am the one not sure where to go from here . kids think i wasted enough n i shd start living for msyelf . i dont know how to do that at this age n not exactly single .

[NewandLost]

braddah, if you like buying used cars on loan then go for it. the loan means you are tied to her ex husband and the baggage of supporting kids that are not even your own. those two people fucked up thier first marriage so you are like garbage man handling some trash or junk nobody else would want unless they think their is gold hidden in the trash. if you want the work of digging it out and searching for it then go for it. my take braddah is why buy used when you can get new? braddah, wake up!

[hugs]

thanks for that post , new&lost . hopefully u r happily married n same time happily bonking WL here . may all women , be her a WL or ur wife , service u n be living with only one goal ---> for ur big head n small one .

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Man! For the sake of discussion, think we need not be too quick & even too harsh to judge them as used cars or garbage collectors.

I believe every divorced couple when they were tying their knots and exchanging vows, saying "I DO" not "I TOOT", they did expect that they would be happy in their marriage, somehow, somewhere, things just didn't work out along the road...

Although personally I won't tread on this path (as per my previous post in this thread) but If any of my friends really fall in love and marrying one, I wish them well and happily everafter.