Girls will always be girls, guys will always be guys.... the 'battle' will continue and the differences will never reconcile somehow
A friend once told me:"Love is not about looking at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction...." I personally think it's good advice and will stick by it when I've found my soulmate....
Hope those who've already got soulmates and those who're looking for one, will find the happines that they're searching for....
Girls will always be girls, guys will always be guys.... the 'battle' will continue and the differences will never reconcile somehow
A friend once told me:"Love is not about looking at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction...." I personally think it's good advice and will stick by it when I've found my soulmate....
Hope those who've already got soulmates and those who're looking for one, will find the happines that they're searching for....
Have a pleasant evening
WELL said~ *Clap Clap Clap*~....
InORder to have the "SAME DIrecTiOn".... U wiLL hv to THROW in "UNDERstandING"...tat iS wat I BELIEVE ...
GOOd LUck!!!
CheER~
BitCH BLue AUnt|E
__________________
ONce A BItCH ALwayS A BitCH!~"
NOTE: ReTIreD BitCh.....no longer a gal..but LAO Char BOR now...hahaha
which comes back to the same problem mah... we guys cannot understand women....
"UNDerstanding" --> dun CUM..by "a day" or "a week" or "a year".... IT take TIMESssssssS....not onLI IT is HARD to UNDERstand a WOMAN but same GOeS to MAN.....
Of COurSE thRU UNDErstanDing if U think TAT SHE/HE is not the ONE u WANNA..then DUMP... and MOVE ON.. i NOE it is kind of easY to SAY then DONE.....weLL tat IS HOW r/s "workS"....TAKE IT or "born a virgin, DIE a VIRGIN"...
CHeeR~
BItCHy BLue AUnt|e
__________________
ONce A BItCH ALwayS A BitCH!~"
NOTE: ReTIreD BitCh.....no longer a gal..but LAO Char BOR now...hahaha
Contact her within these 1 or 2 days only if you want to give it one more shot at it. (Give it a serious thought about it first). If it had been 2 days since you break the news to her, she might had done some soul searching and a good analysis of the whole relationship by now. Talk to her and ask her if she wants you in her life or not.
She has to change on her fickleness and control her temper. Likewise ask her what sort of changes she will like to see in you. There is always two side of a coin. You got to define your own limit of tolerance just in case she says she wants you to be more tolerant of her temper. Re-defining one person’s character is a very difficult. Like they say a leopard can’t change its spot. With patience and efforts one can change slowly, improve bit by bit. It takes time. Are you willing to be by her side and change her slowly or you may not want to wait that long? Most importantly, she has to assess on whether this relationship is worth her effort. Perhaps she may want to move on with her life and maybe later in life meet someone who can accept her as she is. In this world there are all sort of ppl made for others.
However, if you think that you do not want to drag any further, leave it as it is. I dun know of any good way to end a relationship but do wish her best in whatever she does in future. If you are still not able to have a peace of mind, do check out with her friend if you want to know about how she is coping. Probably that is nothing much you can do about it but be concern about her (dun need to let her know else may complicate things) going thr this patch. Afterall, she was your GF once.
Should you be talking to her, dun engage verbal battles with her. Your stand once decided must be firm no matter how she reacts (cry or etc…)
Hereby, also wish you all the best for your future endeavors, be it in work, love and life.
Any problem, feel free to come back here. Guess Bro and Sis will be willing to help.
Problems in life are experienced to make one stronger and being able to better appreciate life.
actually I'm trying to save the relationship between us.
I don't mind tolerating her behaviour again since I've been doing so for the past 2 years. But one day, if it happens that my work has some problems, she's giving me stress, kids not doing well in sch... etc, all things went bad, I might just pop and the mess might be greater.
I guess I should try to think things thru for the time being and leave some space between me and her.
Guess I might have to go to her place to talk everything straight.
I think it might ended up as I'll be listening to what she's got to say for hours while I only have a couple of sentences...
I still appreciate it when she calls me up to see how am I doing in work but it might be too much till I find it to be irritating at times.
Though ur 2 cents can't buy me a good styrofoam cup of kopi, thanks man.
I hope my 70 cents worth can get you a cup.
Gfs who can think with their brain and not mouth are hard to find. Actually, true love means doing things for the other half , out of genuine goodwill, rather than for the purpose accumulating masses of incriminating data to haul to court... in the event of an unfortunate and unforeseen divorce case. OMG.
Accidents, unintentional wrongdoings and unintended hurt can be forgiven and forgotten. However, the same cannot be said of some girls, who are literally fanatical enough to worship their distorted faith that all men owe them a living.
Thats my 70 cents' worth. I suppose, at one time or another, all of us had some kind of unpleasant experience with these .... unpredictable women.
actually I'm trying to save the relationship between us.
I don't mind tolerating her behaviour again since I've been doing so for the past 2 years. But one day, if it happens that my work has some problems, she's giving me stress, kids not doing well in sch... etc, all things went bad, I might just pop and the mess might be greater.
Add in your dream gal appear during that time to stand by you and it will be exactly the worst senario i had painted for you.
I guess I should try to think things thru for the time being and leave some space between me and her.
Seriously, you must think about it. Take a good long time to think about it is definitely alright for a life time commitment.
Guess I might have to go to her place to talk everything straight.
Cheers for you for your courage.
I think it might ended up as I'll be listening to what she's got to say for hours while I only have a couple of sentences...
Tell her to come straight to the point. Dun nag, it doesn't helps
I still appreciate it when she calls me up to see how am I doing in work but it might be too much till I find it to be irritating at times.
Calling to show concern and calling to check on you is two different things. Probably only yourself will be able to judge it.
Walking out of a relationship is never easy. The deeper you love the harder it gets. The harder it hurts, the earlier you will visualise everything.
To salvage the relationship and let it continue to run takes a lot of time and patience. Talk to her on how you want her to improve and vice versa for you to improve for her as well.The choice is yours but do try to set some guide lines and DOs and DUNs between the 2 of you that will help you both to have a happier and better life together.
actually I'm trying to save the relationship between us.
I don't mind tolerating her behaviour again since I've been doing so for the past 2 years. But one day, if it happens that my work has some problems, she's giving me stress, kids not doing well in sch... etc, all things went bad, I might just pop and the mess might be greater.
I guess I should try to think things thru for the time being and leave some space between me and her.
Guess I might have to go to her place to talk everything straight.
I think it might ended up as I'll be listening to what she's got to say for hours while I only have a couple of sentences...
I still appreciate it when she calls me up to see how am I doing in work but it might be too much till I find it to be irritating at times.
Any example of my motto "not to get involve or advise on anyone's relationship" which this time, I myself didn't fully follow.
From the start, bros including myself were advising to cut off the relationsihp since has this and that problems, thinking this is what Monkeybiz wants to do, etc, etc...
Now, we have been made fools in this monkey business as he has all along know what he wants....
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Re: Gers Are Still Gers
Quote:
Originally Posted by vesfreq
Though ur 2 cents can't buy me a good styrofoam cup of kopi, thanks man.
I hope my 70 cents worth can get you a cup.
Gfs who can think with their brain and not mouth are hard to find. Actually, true love means doing things for the other half , out of genuine goodwill, rather than for the purpose accumulating masses of incriminating data to haul to court... in the event of an unfortunate and unforeseen divorce case. OMG.
Accidents, unintentional wrongdoings and unintended hurt can be forgiven and forgotten. However, the same cannot be said of some girls, who are literally fanatical enough to worship their distorted faith that all men owe them a living.
Thats my 70 cents' worth. I suppose, at one time or another, all of us had some kind of unpleasant experience with these .... unpredictable women.
Thanks for the cuppa. Things happen in this society sometimes gives us no choice but to go along with the drift, now I only wish for more peace to enjoy the serenity side of life.
actually I'm trying to save the relationship between us.
I don't mind tolerating her behaviour again since I've been doing so for the past 2 years. But one day, if it happens that my work has some problems, she's giving me stress, kids not doing well in sch... etc, all things went bad, I might just pop and the mess might be greater.
I guess I should try to think things thru for the time being and leave some space between me and her.
Guess I might have to go to her place to talk everything straight.
I think it might ended up as I'll be listening to what she's got to say for hours while I only have a couple of sentences...
I still appreciate it when she calls me up to see how am I doing in work but it might be too much till I find it to be irritating at times.
After reading all your post, I felt that you are more like at a cross road junction, lost and bewilder of your next move. Leaving her is painful; after all, it had been years, you are more or less use to having her around babbling nonstop on some wired stuffs that you never really paid attention to. Now comes to the point where you pour your heart out to her and resulting current consequences, you feel the pain as well. I believe after all these years with her, there is still that little tingle that you felt for her. Especially these few days of peace had magnified the emptiness and forlorn feelings in you. As you think back about the relationship, you might just question yourself: “Is she really that bad???” I bet the answer is no, if not both of you wouldn’t had come this far. Perhaps you had also remember all the little nice things she did for you, the sacrifices she made for you, you might just find yourself with a heart felt smile on your face. Think about it, she might not be that bad afterall. Be fair to her, she had indeed spent her glorious with you, by your side, in you arms.
Walking out of a relationship is never easy. The deeper you love the harder it gets. The harder it hurts, the earlier you will visualise everything.
To salvage the relationship and let it continue to run takes a lot of time and patience. Talk to her on how you want her to improve and vice versa for you to improve for her as well.The choice is yours but do try to set some guide lines and DOs and DUNs between the 2 of you that will help you both to have a happier and better life together.
Wish you luck and happiness!!
Like a loving father, know when to pull the cane out and when to give the reward.
actually I have no idea on what I'm doing but I'm only acting purely on instincts...
Finally talked to her parents of our problems about this little problem over dinner as well, they too know of her temper and said that it's up to me now.
Anyway, I mentioned to her that it's rather stressed up at work lately since I'm working hard to preserve my job at this terrible time of the year, so I will appreciate it more if she could just come straight to the point instead of giving me 'riddles'.
things are getting back into the trust stage between me and her again. I just hope that she could change her nagging and fickle minded decisions for good... or perhaps try to talk less and be patient with me at least.
maybe I should spend more time with her talking about my work sometimes, since I don't think I can handle my work stress alone and I just wanted her to be more understanding of my current situation.
I don't really wanna dump her but to be with her at least till our kids grow up to be independent.
actually I don't really have a dream girl thou, but there's some part of her that fits into the category I want.
thaivisitor>> erm.. u guys didn't make a fool out of urself... i ensure you... it just happened that I managed to do some thorough thinking in different perspectives thanks to you guys. :P
I don't know about the rest of the bro samster here, but I feel you did not open up and level with us straight. As far as I am concern, you gave the impression that you are NOT married yet, and is having problems with your GIRLFRIEND, not wife.
In your first post, you wrote, relationship, not marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeybiz
honestly, I'm in a middle of a fucked up relationship and the focus is always on her. But whatever I do, she always saves up shit to complain...
In your 2nd post, you wrote girl, not wife.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeybiz
I've tried to talk to my girl about how I felt and such, it backfired and it ended that I got myself screwed big time.
In your 4th post, the way you describe gives the idea of a BGR where it takes time to understand. This is DEFINITELY not the talk of a man and wife matter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeybiz
anyway, thaivisitor, you've got a point. but to be fair to her, I guess it takes time for her at least to learn how to appreciate my relationship with her.
Again you mentioned relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeybiz
not that i can't wait to ditch her, but rather that i can't give up that relationship yet. had a hard time thinking about it.
This is DEFINITELY NOT a conversation a person have with his wife!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeybiz
erm... it didn't turned out as I expected.
I told her something like "There might be times when I won't be around, so if you met a nice guy, most likely you'll go with him right?".
Here you gave the impression that you are not staying together.
Quote:
It ended up she haven't called me since then.
I guess I might have to call up her close friend to see how she's feeling
Even here you gave the idea of your "future" with her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeybiz
actually I'm trying to save the relationship between us.
I don't mind tolerating her behaviour again since I've been doing so for the past 2 years. But one day, if it happens that my work has some problems, she's giving me stress, kids not doing well in sch... etc, all things went bad, I might just pop and the mess might be greater.
Finally you drop the bomb on us
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeybiz
I don't really wanna dump her but to be with her at least till our kids grow up to be independent.
I don't know the other bros thought when they replied and advise you but I, for the shit of it, have all along thought that you were still unmarried in a relationship so advise you so that you don't get into a bad marriage.
But WTF, you were not forthcoming with the true facts and led us into a web of deceit created by you, for WTF reason, I don't know.
If I and I believe all bros and sis here, knows that you were married WITH KIDS, our advise would have very VERY DIFFERENT. I sympathize with you, had I known, I would have sympathize with your kids, not you or your wife.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeybiz
thaivisitor>> erm.. u guys didn't make a fool out of urself... i ensure you... it just happened that I managed to do some thorough thinking in different perspectives thanks to you guys.
Sure WE didn't make fools of ourselves, YOU made the fools out of us.
I don't know about the rest of the bro samster here, but I feel you did not open up and level with us straight. As far as I am concern, you gave the impression that you are NOT married yet, and is having problems with your GIRLFRIEND, not wife.
Sure WE didn't make fools of ourselves, YOU made the fools out of us.
My 2 cents worth
Bro Monkeybiz, you are not very straight in all your post. This is a forum, hence we do not really mince your words, and you spun the web of misconception and lead us walking right to the center. Frankly, this gesture of yours is pretty unwelcome. Throughout the whole session, you lead us to believe that this is just an BGR issue but upon mentioning of kids, I guess now we all get the right picture while all these while we were sent chasing shadow. From then till now, we do not see any attempt to explain or clarify the matter, your insincerity in choice of words are not appreciated.
I don't really wanna dump her but to be with her at least till our kids grow up to be independent.
If you are already married with kids, there is nothing much to say.
You probabaly had a thorought understanding of her character before you tied the knot with her. Live with it. If problems persists, suggest you go for marriage conseuling (try MCDS)
11-08-2004, 09:35 PM
