Advise please

[ahyong]

Originally Posted by Playman

Uncle Yong.....it been a long time since I see you over here......! Nice to see again!

hello nice to see u too

Originally Posted by CeiResident

U put me aeroplane so many times, so sad na. Was waiting for u at seacon square MK yesterday.

bro i am busy and i never put areoplane ok? as i have not confirm with u na. Told u to call and wake me up u nv

Originally Posted by yinyang

Bro CR, once awhile you pop in and start on your lovey dovey (or sentimental) pieces. So are you in or out of love? Just taking a dig, no offence

Bro our Tirak of SEA is out of love again, Bro Cei cheer up ok? i always by your side

[yinyang]

Your heart got many rooms (as 1 tg said).. Take heart, your tiraks all kit tueng you mak2.

AY, better side than rear..

Originally Posted by ahyong

..our Tirak of SEA is out of love again, Bro Cei cheer up ok? i always by your side

Originally Posted by CeiResident

Coz i miss u bro....

[CeiResident]

During World War II, an army platoon was getting ready to invade an enemy country, and the platoon head was motivating the troops... pumping them up with a speech and finishing off with this question, "So men, we're invading tomorrow morning. Are you ready to die for your country?"

The troops held up their guns and in one voice yelled, "Yes, Sir!"

In a corner however, one soldier from the group remained silent. His act was caught by the platoon head, who furiously stormed over and asked, "Soldier, why are you remaining quiet like a dumbass... do you lack the guts to sacrifice for your own country?"

The soldier cooly replied, "Not at all, I have no problem with my guts. Just that... it's ineffective for me to sacrifice, because
there'll be one less person fighting for our country. I'd rather make the enemy sacrifice for HIS own country."

As legend goes, this one soldier eventually went to become a high-ranking general till his retirement.

So..... how does this story relate to becoming good with women and dating?

It's this - while other guys are focused on what was 'thought' to be effective, you focus on the REAL thing that is truly effective.

To explain... In S'pore, when a typical guy tries to court a girl, he would say head-strong things like - "I'll do anything for her... I'll swim to the bottom of the ocean for her."

And in a horrible scenario where a woman turns him down, he'll be in a sorry state of, "I'll wait for her... no matter how long."

While such sacrifice is heroic, it is INEFFECTIVE.

Honest truth - If a guy HASN'T first gotten the girl attracted to him in anyway, he can sacrifice all he want or wait till earth expires... but she still WON'T want to be with him.

There are 2 main points to that -

1) Doing ineffective things for a woman with all your heart and soul... DOESN'T make it effective

2) "Causing attraction" must come first... it's the sole 'effective thing' that brings you dating success

Like the soldier in the story, you have to see the whole thing about women differently. Instead of you "doing anything for her", shift your focus to - Attract her so heavily that she'll do anything FOR YOU.

Right now, we'll talk about that - causing attraction.

One of the ways to cause attraction in gals is to create 'anticipation' or 'suspense build-up' in her.

See, the biggest mistake most guys make is - they are TOO EAGER with women.

- When they receive an sms from a gal, they are too eager to reply (usually immediately)
- They are too eager to show (or confess) their liking to women
- They are too eager to impress women by doing things that they like

Frankly, women will put a guy in situations just to see whether he'll become eager... and when he does, the women tend to feel unattracted to him.

Example: When a woman tells a guy she won't be available to go out with him on a particular day. He eagerly asks if there is
another day she can make it.

Tip: Be willing to HOLD-BACK eagerness. Be willing to leave women guessing or wondering.

Anticipation builds attraction. Eagerness kills it.

When you receive an sms from a gal, don't immediately reply. Stretch out your replies. Vary them by sometimes replying in ten
minutes, sometimes an hour.

When she asks you questions like "What is your star sign?", don't be so eager to give a straightforward answer like "Virgo". Be willing to tease and have her guess (suspend her a bit). Playfully tell her, "Make a guess. You have two tries but I'll give you a clue, it's not Scorpio."

And when you want to get her out on a day but she says she can't make it, don't straightaway eagerly ask her which other day she can (that is a sign of desperation).

Instead tell her to enjoy whatever she'll be doing that day and talk about something else.

You want to create the feeling in her where she tells herself, "Oh oh, did I just screw this up by telling him I can't make it?"

Understand this - when you build suspense and have a gal wonder if she screwed up something, her attraction for you goes UP.

My last post before i am away on ICT in queensland..... See u in krungthep buddies.

[CeiResident]

Originally Posted by yinyang

Your heart got many rooms (as 1 tg said).. Take heart, your tiraks all kit tueng you mak2.

AY, better side than rear..

Bro my ICT ends on the day u are flying off to LOS, hey hang on till 24th, i'd be there in early morning na.... Lets make some offerings together in the site of former santika. That place brings back great memories.

[CeiResident]

Women in my life came and go like passengers to a taxi driver after she was gone. I had good passengers, and of course really bad ones. There were also some who hurt real bad. Non of them stayed for long.


Like a taxi driver, I didn't get myself too too attached to my passengers because I know they will be gone after they've reached their destination. How can you label these as relationships? I didn't and I couldn't because relationships to me, isn't like that.


Relationships shouldn't be built on love alone. We all have other things to offer other than love. Love alone isn't enough but without love, there is no foundation for a relationship at all.


Everybody wants to be in love. I want to be in love. Only some lucky ones found their true love. Most of us wait for love to happen. Some had to wait for a lifetime. Few went searching for it like me. I'll rather do something while waiting rather than sit around and do nothing.


Perhaps I wasn't capable of loving. Perhaps something somewhere went wrong. Perhaps love left long ago. It didn't deter me from trying.


Just like not taking a breath after a 100m dash. Breathless and then another dash. How can anyone take my breath away when I am breathless? I could hardly breathe. I know. I need to catch my breath before letting someone else take it away again..


I quit being in love with relationships. Love the person and not what the person have to offer. Finally, I could breathe again.

[yinyang]

Originally Posted by CeiResident

...hang on till 24th, i'd be there in early morning na.... Lets make some offerings together in the site of former santika. That place brings back great memories.

Bro CR, I lost a samster friend there (plus his sg pal) who I was blessed to get acquainted with a few years back in bkk. Our paths crossed when we stayed at same hotel in pratunam, and had few evenings out. My thai lady friend (married, resident in Japan, but visiting bkk then) even complimented via me (true to tg or asian culture) he was a good looker.

I have not openly revealed this here in this forum to now, simply out of respect for him (he was a private person). Not a eulogy, but will remember him in my heart as such a nice and unassuming bloke.

Wish you a pleasant stay in LOS. Take a rain check on 24, as I have a eventful day with few errands to run (more like concierge for my thai side dish?)

[Si Geena]

Since all the Thai kakis gather here, I'm just tossing this out for thoughts.

I'm intending to start a small biz with the gf in Singapore. It's a small biz dealing with F&B, but basically tapping on her ability to cook for this joint.

Anyone has any ideas what is the "by right" procedure of work permit?

Thank you.

[CeiResident]

Originally Posted by Si Geena

Since all the Thai kakis gather here, I'm just tossing this out for thoughts.

I'm intending to start a small biz with the gf in Singapore. It's a small biz dealing with F&B, but basically tapping on her ability to cook for this joint.

Anyone has any ideas what is the "by right" procedure of work permit?

Thank you.

Selling some tum?

[CeiResident]

Dedicated to Bro Junichi and Bro Singrakthai....

[Charmaine]

Originally Posted by williamangkh

Hi Bro Charmaine...great to hear everything is working fine for you.

Take care, bro!

Sometimes, life throws you such unexpected surprises that the only thing you can do is to giggle yourself silly and admit that you're just but a pawn in this warped old world we live in.

It's been a while since I updated the classic sadfuck thread to tell the world about my story with a Thai girl. It's about time to.

After I proposed to her and she sad yes, everything went smoothly as planned and a lot of things transpired since then. She quit her job in the G-Club immediately. On her last night in the club, she partied the night away with her friend in the club and my phone never stopped ringing from 1am - all her hot friends from the club took turns to call and offer their most sincere of wishes - it was even decided who would attend the wedding and who would sit where. I felt like the luckiest man in the world. In a symbolic gesture, her friends from the entire team (G-Club regulars would know what I'm talking about; girls are split into teams, each headed by a mamasan), together with her mamasan, refused to take in, or sit, with any customers that last night. They simply partied the night away using their own money for booze and food. I was literally with them the whole night, only on the phone, of course, but it felt like I was physically present the whole time.

The next 2 months were challenges - she's now left with no income and no job. I did my finances and offered her 15,000 baht of financial support a month, together with the payment of her phone bills (since she had to call and text Singapore so much). She did her own calculations (she knew my finances full well) and flatly refused to receive so much, only offering to take in 10,000 baht to help pay her monthly rent and utility bills, with the remainder used to send back to her family in the provinces. Her sister would help support her daily living expenses (she was more than willing to since she already knew me very well then and was excited about her baby sister finally getting married). I had bought a place here in Singapore even before I met her, so the plan was for her to find a decent low-paying job (probably in the region of 10,000 baht just to supplement whatever I've been giving her), work it through until the house finishes, and then she would move over here and get married. She was hard at work immediately after quitting the club looking for a job and we contacted each other everyday to update on the situation.

A couple of months ago, she came to Singapore with her sister to tour (although they've already been here before a couple of times as tourists) and meet up with my parents for the first time. She hardly looked out of place here as she took a while to accommodate herself but our only focus was how she could live with the different environments presented to her when she came here for good. My parents loved her; she told me before she went back to Bangkok that she loved Singapore more than ever and couldn't wait to come for good.

Then it all fell apart. Well, sort of.

She found a really, really good job.

One of her hi-so friends whom she knew from way back in high school introduced her to her business (the specifics of which I will leave out here). She started doing sales for her and is now doing unbelievably well. It's only been 3 months since she started this job, but she's already doing phenomenally well. It's suffice to say that she is now earning in excess of 65,000 baht a month doing what she does - commission-based, of course, with no basic pay to boot, but her diligence and endeavor has made it such that she's now indispensable to the company. Her experience in doing sales (selling whiskey in the club, of course, but sales is sales) really helped and she absolutely soared. I've been back to visit her a couple of times since she started work, and I'm convinced she's loved by her boss, superiors and customers alike. I stopped financially supporting her and on my last trip she paid for most food and expenses items, and her boss paid for the rest (since we hung out together most times).

What a turnaround. Who would have imagined?

She told me that for the first time in her life, she's doing something meaningful and spectacular, and there's no way she's going to stop now.

I'm happy for her, but that only meant one thing. She didn't want to come to Singapore anymore.

We started to fight like kids every time we talked to her on the phone. She became busier than me - while I was still able to squeeze in one or two phone calls in the office no matter how busy I was, she's now stuck in meetings with customers all the time. "I call you back ok?" was the normal response. She still picks up her calls every time, of course, and there is absolutely no reason to suspect anything, but she simply became.. too busy for love). She works till late night (sometimes 9 or 10pm), has dinner with her colleagues then go home dead beat. We fought like crazy - I would start demanding that she call me at least twice a day, once at lunch and once at dinner (my fault, I know) and she would say I'm being ridiculous. When she was a G-Club girl, we arguably talked a lot more in the day, but now I never got to hear from her even at night. I became frustrated that I was the one calling her more often than her calling me, and never seemed to understand that this big break was the best thing that ever happened to her this life, and that she needed her space. I helped her get out of the club, but otherwise had nothing to do with this miraculous turnaround. I kept imagining myself to be this "big knight in shining amour" that got her where she was today, so she has to kowtow and bow to my every whim and fancy, but in truth I did nothing. I forgot that outside of the G-Club, she was just a girl. A girl that I disrespected very badly.

I became possessive and demanding, and she told me numerous times that I wasn't helping by "expecting too much". I snapped - I couldn't take the change. I told her that she either decided to come to Singapore soon, or end this relationship. I said that knowing full well that it was a ridiculous ultimatum, and she would never be able to do half as well as a PR here.

She told me that she enjoyed what she does for the first time in her life, is getting a lot out of it, and she doesn't want me to slow her down. if given a choice between her job and me, she would choose to remain in Bangkok. She said she still wanted to have a future with me, but I was "getting more crazy by the day" and she could no longer handle my tantrums and the demands of her job at the same time.

I told her that we should take a break. She said yes. We haven't contacted since.

The story isn't over, but it very nearly is. i don't know what to feel.

On the one hand, I'm absolutely delighted with her new life. On the other, though, our plans, what we've been discussing everyday for ages, never seems like it's going to materialise. Just before we decided to cool it off, she gave me an extremely intense feeling (she has never said this out in the open) that she wants to remain long-term in Bangkok to seek out this new career path and see how far she can go.

I know she misses me. I miss her too, but there isn't much of a future to be considered if she doesn't want to come to Singapore. Me going to live in Bangkok is out of the question (demand for my profession is almost non-existent in Thailand and I have already bought a house here). At the end of the day, maybe it's best for both parties that it ends this way - I managed to pull a decent girl out of a nightclub and indirectly saved her life. Maybe that's all I sought out to do this whole relationship, and now I am done. Sometimes, it's not necessary that you end up with that person to know that you've done something right with her life. That warm fuzzy feeling in your heart - it's something money can't buy.

[naemlo]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

Sometimes, life throws you such unexpected surprises that the only thing you can do is to giggle yourself silly and admit that you're just but a pawn in this warped old world we live in.

Interesting true life story... You are not the only 1 in this world to have done this. End of the day, life still goes on.

[adidas88]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

Sometimes, life throws you such unexpected surprises that the only thing you can do is to giggle yourself silly and admit that you're just but a pawn in this warped old world we live in.

bro charmaine ... sad to hear that the story ended like this ...
but this is life ... and we need to move on ...
i always believe ... everything happen for a reason ...
u might not know it now .... but u'll realise it in the future ...
cheer up, bro ...

不在互天长地久，只在互曾经拥有。

[Si Geena]

well Bro Charmaine. Keep on walking.

Eh, I'll send you a PM to complain.

[yinyang]

Charmaine, yours is like reading some book or even script for a movie..

On the plus side of coin, it'd have been difficult for her to fit in in singieland.

Pity your fairy tale of proverbial knight in shining armour takes leave here.

[leaseoflife]

Chermaine, I can empathise with your situation, and frankly, I thought there is a silver lining at the end. Granted that two of you may not be together in Singapore, I think you should not give up the relationship just like that. Just as you mentioned, there is that fuzzy feeling in you, so why give up? Give you and your half some time to get used to the routine and see how it goes. If, say after 6 months to 1 year, things are still as heated as before, then at least you know you tried. I may sound a little philosophical here, but seriously, I think there is more to lose if you give up now. And lastly, I think you need to forget the fact that she used to work in G-Club or whatever she has done before, because it will definitely affect your stand in the relationship.

Again, my two cents worth......