Advise please

[CeiResident]

Whatever it is, dun portray a "golden tortoise" image to your future in laws. Bro adidas is right, dun look to despo or rash during the first meeting. Thai culture is very diff, u need to give drowry, gold and throw a traditional wedding feast in their tambon when it comes to marriage. Always rememeber when u marry a thai ger, u virtually marry their whole family. U will understand when i am trying to say if u pass thru the honeymoon stage of your phrase.. Many couple survive their first few years. but the road is long u must really pace.... Its never easy marrying a thai as family is their upmost concern in life.

Originally Posted by adidas88

bro .. just be urself .... u dun have to make up a show for them ..
be sincere, caring and courtesy ....

my advise is not to pop the question in this first meeting ..
in thai culture ... family is most important ...
so if her family like u .... everything will be okay ...

go with the flow .. dun rush into anything or promise anyone ...
u'll be fine ..

[CeiResident]

Bro charmaine,

Sometimes, life really is just a whole reel of irony, 1 leading to another.
we came as individuals, and will eventually perish as individuals.

Sometimes, we place alot of emphasis on matters that arent tangible. Sometimes, we place alot of emphasis on finite matters that can never outlast time.

Given the most blissful of unions between a man & woman, who're inseperable in their daily lives, there will come a day that their legs will lay straight. whether or not he/she is the 1 i/we love most, it was a choice made, when the couple decides to take that leap of faith, when they exchanged marriage vows, exchange wedding bands. U get what i am trying to hint?

[CeiResident]

Cool bro, i always seek solace in successful union alto i have sunken... It gives me pleasure that things works out well for u guys so as to make flamers like singrakthai and SC think twice.

Originally Posted by Si Geena

My first meeting with the parents... I got the mom a set of Deng Li Jun CDs. Didn't get the father anything. I basically ask my gf what she thought would be appropriate. In fact, she said, there's nothing I need to bring at all.

You should ask your girl first. She would know what gifts are suitable. I did ever ask "how about bah kwa?" The answer was that no, it's not going to be appreciated. Too much burnt parts.

[CeiResident]

So which one do you think you are?

1. Words of Affirmation

Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.

Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

2. Quality Time
Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

An important aspect of quality conversation is self-revelation. In order for you to communicate with your mate, you must also be in tune with your inner emotions. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate.

Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.
Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.

3. Receiving Gifts

Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.

If you want to become an effective gift giver, many mates will have to learn to change their attitude about money. If you are naturally a spender, you will have no trouble buying gifts for your mate. However, a person who is used to investing and saving their money may have a tough time adjusting to the concept of spending money as an expression of love. These people must understand that you are investing the money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship with your mate.

The gift of self is an important symbol of love. Sometimes all your mate desires is for someone to be there for them, going through the same trials and experiencing the same things. Your body can become a very powerful physical symbol of love.

These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

4. Acts of Service

Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.

Very often, both pairs in a couple will speak to the Acts of Service Language. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. Even though couples are helping each other around the house, couples will still fight because the are unknowingly communicating with each other in two different dialects. For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking to dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.

It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.

Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes. Acts of service require both mates to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that aren’t usually expected from their gender. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship.

5. Physical Touch
Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.

Sexual intercourse makes many mates feel secure and loved in a marriage. However, it is only one dialect of physical touch. Many parts of the body are extremely sensitive to stimulation. It is important to discover how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to these touches.

It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or lovemaking, or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.

All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.

It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts

[Jun|ch|]

Originally Posted by CeiResident

Cool bro, i always seek solace in successful union alto i have sunken... It gives me pleasure that things works out well for u guys so as to make flamers like singrakthai and SC think twice.

Any idea where they went? It would be fun for 4 of us to sit down and eat Moo ka ta together.

[yanz]

Originally Posted by Jun|ch|

Any idea where they went? It would be fun for 4 of us to sit down and eat Moo ka ta together.

wow, havent been reading the threads for long and dint realise the once famous jun's back.. where are the usual suspects like SRT n SC? remember those days i'll log in daily for the fiery exchanges..

[CeiResident]

SC still in singapore lor dunno about SRT maybe in CDC recuperating.. He is using a diff clone nick now.. U aeroplane king la, never jio me go out wan.

Originally Posted by Jun|ch|

Any idea where they went? It would be fun for 4 of us to sit down and eat Moo ka ta together.

[CeiResident]

Welcome back old guard...

Originally Posted by yanz

wow, havent been reading the threads for long and dint realise the once famous jun's back.. where are the usual suspects like SRT n SC? remember those days i'll log in daily for the fiery exchanges..

[Cyberspace Nerd]

Originally Posted by yanz

wow, havent been reading the threads for long and dint realise the once famous jun's back.. where are the usual suspects like SRT n SC? remember those days i'll log in daily for the fiery exchanges..

this Jun has supposedly "got on with his life" , has become a father and "achieved more" than a lot of us here.

Why is he back?

Cos he is a good for nothing who cannot support his wife and children in BKK. Need to ask wife to go back being a AGOGO girl, ABAC one ok, dont pray pray.... since he zoh boh lan....nowadays hanging around 10B internet cafe to surf net, just like old days

[yanz]

Originally Posted by Cyberspace Nerd

this Jun has supposedly "got on with his life" , has become a father and "achieved more" than a lot of us here.

Why is he back?

Cos he is a good for nothing who cannot support his wife and children in BKK. Need to ask wife to go back being a AGOGO girl, ABAC one ok, dont pray pray.... since he zoh boh lan....nowadays hanging around 10B internet cafe to surf net, just like old days

No offence, but let's not speculate. Best to hear it from the man himself. If its true, congrats on being a father!

[CeiResident]

Wonder why your hatred for him is immense?

Originally Posted by Cyberspace Nerd

this Jun has supposedly "got on with his life" , has become a father and "achieved more" than a lot of us here.

Why is he back?

Cos he is a good for nothing who cannot support his wife and children in BKK. Need to ask wife to go back being a AGOGO girl, ABAC one ok, dont pray pray.... since he zoh boh lan....nowadays hanging around 10B internet cafe to surf net, just like old days

[CeiResident]

Confession of the day.. 今日的忏悔.
There are many things in life we have to keep in balance.
Due to many factors, we allow the balancing scale to tilt.
Studies, work, family and friends.
Sometimes even to the extreme.
When was the last time you allow your scale to tilt?
Did you tilt it too much?
How much is too much?
Beats me.
If you're a straight A student and you don't have anyone to go for lunch with, you may like to set aside some time for social activities.
If you're a working personnel and lunch involves a lunchbox in the pantry or in your own office because you don't want to be seen eating alone in public, you may want to include some slack time in office or evaluate your attitude towards others.
In school, passing was my only concern. In work, I leave my office on the dot, sometimes even earlier. This may be why I'm neither a straight A student nor a high flyer in my workplace.
Until recently, I find it an uphill task to maintain a balance between family, friends and of course girlfriend. When single, it's simple. It was only choosing between family and friends. When attached, it's a little bit more tricky.
In the past, I have never viewed balancing as a challenge. Before I was attached, home is the place I headed straight after work everyday. Occasionally it's dinner with friends. Weekends are reserved for social activities. At the end of the night, it is still home.
Now, more dinners outside on weekdays. Time with friends are cut down because I want more time with my significant other half and I am seldom home on weekends. As much as I would like to, but I am unable to spend the same amount of time with a certain group. It boils down to choices and priorities. I felt guilty for not choosing the unchosen.
It's a matter of getting used to. My family is too used to having me around which is why I am suffering from constant nagging at the moment. I have to get used to not being able to spend the same amount of time with my family and friends.
I am sure we know people who suddenly became uncontactable when they found someone to fall in love with. When they start contacting you, you know they are back to single status.
On the other hand, there are people who are attached/married but don't seemed to appear so. Most of their foul mood is contributed by arguements with their other half for not spending enough time together.
That is extreme in my point of view and I have no wish to fall into both categories.
We are not borne with a dominant hand for no reason and even our hearts are not placed right in the centre of our bodies. We are bound to tilt and favour one side more, but too much of something is never really good. That is why keeping a balance is a challenge itself.
If someone from the past come back knocking at your door, will you open your door and come into terms with your past or keep it shut, hoping it will go away?
Responsible people will come to terms with it. Irresponsible ones will choose to ignore because we believe it will search for another open door when you keep yours closed long enough. No wonder we always advise those locked out to search for another open door.
Nobody like being the one outside but we conveniently forget how miserable it was when we were
the ones outside. Cold, lonely and desperate for an answer.

Recently, girls from my not so long ago past came back knocking. At first, I did the irresponsible thing by ignoring but I realised by shutting people out don't make me any happier because they are in fact making a din at my doorstep.
Many say whatever happened in the past won't hurt and shouldn't matter now. My question is, "Are you sure?"

Just like someone who didn't know their partner cheated in the past, whatever they don't know won't hurt yet. When time passes with the accumulation of events like knowing the existence of a lovechild somewhere, it will stab harder and deeper.

When we know something not revealed to us by the party invloved, we will start questioning the other party, "Why didn't you tell me? Do you know how it hurts to know it from a third party?" The other party will say, " It's someone/something from the past. It's all in the past and it doesn't matter now."

Have you ever been trapped in a similar scenario? It's all in the past. It didn't matter before, so why did it matter now?

Because it sucks not to know anything that have the potential to hurt us in future.

Sometimes, it's a matter of not acknowledging it. We can keep our doors closed for as long as we like but the past will never go away.

The past, in some way or another mould us to be what we are now. We learnt not to touch a boiling kettle after being scalded. We learnt not to trust people so easily after being cheated. We learnt to recognise danger signs there after. We learn from experience. We learnt from the past. Does it not matter?

[Jun|ch|]

Originally Posted by yanz

wow, havent been reading the threads for long and dint realise the once famous jun's back.. where are the usual suspects like SRT n SC? remember those days i'll log in daily for the fiery exchanges..

Haha,glad to see u again...how's life?

Originally Posted by yanz

No offence, but let's not speculate. Best to hear it from the man himself. If its true, congrats on being a father!

No worries , if comments from the forum were to be taken seriously or ( feel anything at all ) , i think it is rather stupid. Especially from clones

[Jun|ch|]

Originally Posted by CeiResident

SC still in singapore lor dunno about SRT maybe in CDC recuperating.. He is using a diff clone nick now.. U aeroplane king la, never jio me go out wan.

How u know he is using a different nick now? I still waiting for him at the Nana burger stand leh.

I wanted meet u at your workplace, u say u flying back SG. U every night go cheong in bangkok also never jio me. Say plasma kana smashed , also went there see still ok leh.

Originally Posted by CeiResident

Wonder why your hatred for him is immense?

He is jealous that he got no adventures in bangkok like me mah.

[Jun|ch|]

Originally Posted by Cyberspace Nerd

this Jun has supposedly "got on with his life" , has become a father and "achieved more" than a lot of us here.

Why is he back?

Cos he is a good for nothing who cannot support his wife and children in BKK. Need to ask wife to go back being a AGOGO girl, ABAC one ok, dont pray pray.... since he zoh boh lan....nowadays hanging around 10B internet cafe to surf net, just like old days

Wah , who told u all that?

Nowadays still got 10B internet huh? U really guru must teach me how to save $$ in bangkok. Living expenses went up already.

Non Air con bus 7baht up to 10baht.
MRT and BTS also up already.
Eat roadside stalls also up by 5baht.
Even lady drinks and drinks in Nana plaza also up by so much.

The thread without the clones would be meaningless for me to make a comeback to say hi , which someone i know for long time in bangkok told me to come say hi.

Then why are u back too? Because u also good for nothing?