Advise please

[adidas88]

Originally Posted by NakaSky

For a moment..i thought u are talking about me. I do have a daughter in bangkok. How old is the child by the way?? hehee..

u never know, bro nakasky ... the world is becoming smaller and closer everyday ...

[NakaSky]

Originally Posted by adidas88

u never know, bro nakasky ... the world is becoming smaller and closer everyday ...

Haha,u got my nick correctly!!

I did not stop locating "her" for my case. I did not know I had a child with "her" anyway. Until she told me recently.

U know how thai gals love to twist their stories when they relate it to someone.

I did not read up about Bro Charmaine's story though. Hopefully we are not talking about the same person.

[Tony Stark]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

We've talked about getting married (I was only half serious of course. I do like her but I'll never accept her child as my own) and she seems intent on coming to Singapore to settle down but has rejected the notion of work. Are all Thais like that? Not even part-time? Her rationale is that she has seen too many families break down because of double-income earners not having enough time for the family, but there are also serious practical concerns regarding how a family is supposed to survive on one single pay check a month. It doesn't make much sense in this country.

I still think she likes me, but can't help but think that the only reason she chose me is because I represent a better future to her than her current boyfriend. Love has taken a back seat to practical considerations. Yes I do feel fulfilled from an ego-trip point-of-view, but I would have preferred her to choose me because she loves me.

If you love her enough you'll accept her daughter as your own. And you're only half serious about the marriage? What can I say. You must know what you want first. It's either you go all the way or call it quits. Knowing when to cut losses is not a failure but to win a future battle.

1. Sun Tzu said: In the operations of war,
where there are in the field a thousand swift chariots,
as many heavy chariots, and a hundred thousand
mail-clad soldiers, with provisions enough to carry them
a thousand li, the expenditure at home and at the front,
including entertainment of guests, small items such as
glue and paint, and sums spent on chariots and armor,
will reach the total of a thousand ounces of silver per day.
Such is the cost of raising an army of 100,000 men.

2. When you engage in actual fighting, if victory
is long in coming, then men's weapons will grow dull and
their ardor will be damped. If you lay siege to a town,
you will exhaust your strength.

3. Again, if the campaign is protracted, the resources
of the State will not be equal to the strain.

4. Now, when your weapons are dulled, your ardor damped,
your strength exhausted and your treasure spent,
other chieftains will spring up to take advantage
of your extremity. Then no man, however wise,
will be able to avert the consequences that must ensue.

5. Thus, though we have heard of stupid haste in war,
cleverness has never been seen associated with long delays.

6. There is no instance of a country having benefited
from prolonged warfare.

It's your private matter. You decide yourself.

[adidas88]

Originally Posted by NakaSky

Haha,u got my nick correctly!!

once bitten twice shy .. how can make same mistake twice ??

Originally Posted by NakaSky

I did not stop locating "her" for my case. I did not know I had a child with "her" anyway. Until she told me recently.
U know how thai gals love to twist their stories when they relate it to someone.

u sure that kid is urs and not someone else ??
and she told u recently ... and u believe her ???

[NakaSky]

Originally Posted by adidas88

u sure that kid is urs and not someone else ??
and she told u recently ... and u believe her ???

My turn to share my adventures here in the forum then.

Met this girl in bangkok in dec 05. Had ONS with her at her place. ( Drunk and without helmet )

Never met her again after that incident though. Did contacted her once a year later when I was in bangkok though.

Start of this year ,she told me about this kid.

Of course,after cheonging bangkok for so many years,all kinds of stuff also hear before..I just said ok.

She send me photos of the kid. For somehow the kid resembles me when I was a kid. Even my friends say she look like me...

She never asked me for any financial assistance for taking care of the kid YET. She comes from a fairly well to do family ,so since the news till now, she never ask for $$.

Dec 05 = ONS
Sept 06 = Birth

Quite tally for the period though.

I will wait till the kid is around 5yr old then I will go for DNA Test. It's pretty inconvenient to do so now.

If it's mine, i will rightfully offer my part as a parent and provide for the kid.

If it's not mine , I will still perhaps once in a while do my part as a "godfather". Since it's fate that brought me and the kid together.

As for the mother , I have no feelings for her. Just ONS as u could see. I probably will not get married. As I have another thai gf in bangkok.

[NobleEagle]

Originally Posted by adidas88

u sure that kid is urs and not someone else ??
and she told u recently ... and u believe her ???

tats hw many of them has monthly allowance from overseas but one things for sure, they are prepared to go ahead raise the child singlehandedly with or without a father, to them its considered really bad karma for abortion, tats why they has so many mixed blood in thailand...

[Playman]

Originally Posted by NobleEagle

tats hw many of them has monthly allowance from overseas but one things for sure, they are prepared to go ahead raise the child singlehandedly with or without a father, to them its considered really bad karma for abortion, tats why they has so many mixed blood in thailand...

I have many (kids) over the years.....but I don't who is who as I never believe them......but all claim to be mine...even one looks like ang moh....in Bkk!

I never did raw only with my ex-gf in BKK and the rest.....with dom dom...but all says it is mine! Because their kids like me.....and like to play with me!

[adidas88]

Originally Posted by NakaSky

If it's mine, i will rightfully offer my part as a parent and provide for the kid.

correct me if i'm wrong .. u r going to offer financial help for the kid but not the responsibility of a parent, right ??

[NobleEagle]

Originally Posted by NakaSky

If it's mine, i will rightfully offer my part as a parent and provide for the kid.

If it's not mine , I will still perhaps once in a while do my part as a "godfather". Since it's fate that brought me and the kid together.

As for the mother , I have no feelings for her. Just ONS as u could see. I probably will not get married. As I have another thai gf in bangkok.

well done bro, really respect you for doing tat, its true tat sometimes its very sensitive topic when it comes to whether or not the kid is truly your esp. if she is really telling the truth and she has the hearts for you, raising a kid is no mean feat esp. for a single girl in Thailand and not many will go tis far jus to try to get money from you unless ur really rich

i have seen many single mom where their guys jus fuk care n left without a word and can tell the disappointment in their eyes when they talk abt it, i even helped to look after few of these kids in my ex-girl's hse when they are working during daytime n some in KTVs after work for those tat dun have their parents to look after, tell you man its definitely not easy for them, even temples provide food, child care n education for them while their parent works in the daytime at minimum cost not even free

one parents doing a coffeeshop has real anger in their eyes when they told me their daughter's guy tat ran away is a Singaporean, i was trying to find a hole to hide when i heard tat while at the same time trying hard to assure them tat NOT all Singaporeans are bad, esp. when after i already told them im a Singaporean too, so afraid tat they put anything in my food.

[NobleEagle]

Originally Posted by Playman

I have many (kids) over the years.....but I don't who is who as I never believe them......but all claim to be mine...even one looks like ang moh....in Bkk!

I never did raw only with my ex-gf in BKK and the rest.....with dom dom...but all says it is mine! Because their kids like me.....and like to play with me!

haha cus maybe u like David Beckham mah so all the kids like you

not sure abt BKK cus i find BKK people are much more commercialized cus they are in contact with many foreigners whereas poeple in outskirts or rural area are much more down to earth and jai dee esp. people from the north like Ayutthaya, Pitsanulok, Laos, very traditional in their thinking, very "sua ku"

[NakaSky]

Originally Posted by NobleEagle

tats hw many of them has monthly allowance from overseas but one things for sure, they are prepared to go ahead raise the child singlehandedly with or without a father, to them its considered really bad karma for abortion, tats why they has so many mixed blood in thailand...

Easy way to go around if someone told u that she has your child.

Tell her to fork out 1/2 of the DNA test costs prior to results. Meaning u pay 1/2 of the cost , she pay half of the cost.

After the results are out , if the child is yours , u return her the 1/2 DNA costs that she paid in advance.

In this way , many will deter to "anyhow" say it's your child. Cos it's not cheap and if the child is not yours, she would have incurred unneccessary expenses.

[NakaSky]

Originally Posted by adidas88

correct me if i'm wrong .. u r going to offer financial help for the kid but not the responsibility of a parent, right ??

I will offer financial help as well as the responsibility of being a parent "overseas".

But I will not bear the responsibilities of being a husband to the mother of the child. ( which i believe can be compromised )

In case of remittances , do keep records/receipts of monthly transfers for the child. So that in case one day when the child grow up, the mother said the father never took care of the child, u have proofs of financially aiding the child's education and expenses.

[NakaSky]

Originally Posted by NobleEagle

well done bro, really respect you for doing tat, its true tat sometimes its very sensitive topic when it comes to whether or not the kid is truly your esp. if she is really telling the truth and she has the hearts for you, raising a kid is no mean feat esp. for a single girl in Thailand and not many will go tis far jus to try to get money from you unless ur really rich

Yupx,it's extremely disappointing to hear from someone u bore him a child to go for DNA test. Especially thai people cares alot about face.

I have heard alot from thai gals personally through conversations that they had previous relationships with singaporeans ,bore them a child and they disappeared into thin air.

I feel it's really bastard to do that.

Got guts to fark with no condom , no guts to accept reality.

For my case , even if i never loved the mum before , I would still take up the responsibility if the child is mine.

We are humans. Not animals or beasts.

Raising a child in thailand is not that hard/expensive actually. We are not talking about best education/best comfort type.

A tiny portion of your pay could easily bring the child up for the most basic needs.

Karma will come if u failed to even care for the tiny soul that u brought to the world due to your selfish thoughts.

[adidas88]

Originally Posted by NakaSky

I will offer financial help as well as the responsibility of being a parent "overseas".
But I will not bear the responsibilities of being a husband to the mother of the child. ( which i believe can be compromised )
In case of remittances , do keep records/receipts of monthly transfers for the child. So that in case one day when the child grow up, the mother said the father never took care of the child, u have proofs of financially aiding the child's education and expenses.

Originally Posted by NakaSky

Yupx,it's extremely disappointing to hear from someone u bore him a child to go for DNA test. Especially thai people cares alot about face.
I have heard alot from thai gals personally through conversations that they had previous relationships with singaporeans ,bore them a child and they disappeared into thin air.
I feel it's really bastard to do that.
Got guts to fark with no condom , no guts to accept reality.
For my case , even if i never loved the mum before , I would still take up the responsibility if the child is mine.
We are humans. Not animals or beasts.
Raising a child in thailand is not that hard/expensive actually. We are not talking about best education/best comfort type.
A tiny portion of your pay could easily bring the child up for the most basic needs.
Karma will come if u failed to even care for the tiny soul that u brought to the world due to your selfish thoughts.

kudos to u bro nakasky ...
what u have said is right ...
the innocent victim is the child and we shld not impose more hardship to him/her ....

[Playman]

Originally Posted by NobleEagle

haha cus maybe u like David Beckham mah so all the kids like you

not sure abt BKK cus i find BKK people are much more commercialized cus they are in contact with many foreigners whereas poeple in outskirts or rural area are much more down to earth and jai dee esp. people from the north like Ayutthaya, Pitsanulok, Laos, very traditional in their thinking, very "sua ku"

Me...David Beckham...no lah...just that I like to play with them and the mothers would says it would be nice if I becomes their father......and ask their children which they says ok....I would just smile....I love too but I will be skin alive by HM for having so many kids.....! hahahahah! For the kid thing...if it is my kid....I will bring he/she back with me and stay with me...if the mother agrees.

No matter what he is still my fresh and blood! This is my personal opinion that is why I only have fun and take every precaution to avoid this kind of thing from happening!