woes of a tirak

[free]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

But one thing which I always to say is this. When the going gets tough and you know the cold harsh truth, will you be able to summon enough courage to leave or will you persist on?

SC

I dun disagree with you. Just want to add a perspective not often indicated here. I am not implying you mean only one side of the coin, but since u did not present it, I shall.

When the going gets tough:
Here, it does not always mean the guy has been cheated enough times, woke up and abandaon the r/s. It can also be a case of a normal BRG, but between ppl of 2 nationalities, and that the cultural and personality differences of the 2 persons may have become an issue and one or both parties decided that it is not fruitful to pursue the r/s as tiraks anymore, and may choose to keep the good memories shared and remain as friends. This has been my experience mostly as the "cheaters" I would have normally filtered them out very early into the r/s before there is any chance of getting hurt.

Even then, for a normal BGR, it will take a lot of pain and courage to call a breakup, perhaps more, cos both sides know the cold hard truth is that the other is a good person, but incompatible. In thai, it is typically termed as "คบกันไม่ได้" (kóp gan mâi dâai)

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

i on the other hand would rather stick to my own principles.. n i think its a fair deal for 1 n all to ponder about.

Sticking to principles is a good thing but sometimes flexibility must be applied at times. Sticking to principles might be a catalyst for downfall too. Don't you think so?

SC

[free]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

Sorry, I am a firm believer of the bread and water. Love can live on plain air, but we can't. The only love I believe in is parental/family love. Other than that, no. We think of these kind of love/acceptance/understanding probably because we watched too much movies, dramas. Scriptwriters must have very good imagination to think of good plots, stories to capture the audience's attention. But many a times, things that happen on the screen, don't happen in real life.

SC

SC, there is indeed another form of love - Love in its Highest form that you have not considered. IT has a name and starts with the letter "A. It is not common to see it practiced. It transcends parents and family and is essentially unconditional love for another human being, male or female, related by blood or otherwise. It is a love that can only come out of making a choice. Because it is unconditional, it can be lavished on another unilaterally or mutually, if the other responds. Perhaps one can call it a love that surpasses "normal" human understanding, but it does exist.

I know, cos it was what helped me to endure a sad event in my life for > 10 years, simply cos my love for her was unconditional - I loved her inspite of.... Alas in the end, I was not strong enough to endure any longer.

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by free

Even then, for a normal BGR, it will take a lot of pain and courage to call a breakup, perhaps more, cos both sides know the cold hard truth is that the other is a good person, but incompatible. In thai, it is typically termed as "คบกันไม่ได้" (kóp gan mâi dâai)

But in a "special" BGR which is most often quoted in this forum, are these tiraks courageous enough to leave even though they know kóp gan mâi dâai?

I quote what another friend, who has gone through such special BGR, said this to me.

Love someone doesn't mean have to be together. Setting them free is also loving them. Set them free, set them free.


SC

[Bangkok Master]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

But in a "special" BGR which is most often quoted in this forum, are these tiraks courageous enough to leave even though they know kóp gan mâi dâai?

Dun worry when they encounter the situation like me in LOS, they will automatically have courage to "leur gan nair nair".......

As what you say, setting them free is as good as setting yourself free!

[free]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

But in a "special" BGR which is most often quoted in this forum, are these tiraks courageous enough to leave even though they know kóp gan mâi dâai?

I quote what another friend, who has gone through such special BGR, said this to me.

Love someone doesn't mean have to be together. Setting them free is also loving them. Set them free, set them free.


SC

I second you on this too. To not leave when the time has come, is to deny oneself of a better chance in the futgure and maybe even miss the boat when she comes along. The idea is not to hangon and stay despite knowing it will not work out, but to be brave enough to start again and still dare to open one's heart to another. I always tell ppl that the new person did not cause the pain left behind by the previous and so should be held accountable.
He/she should be able given a brand new start and not come in already guilty of an offence he/she did not commit.

I faced this with my tirak earlier until I told her I cannot carry on with her if she is going to believe her sister that I will cheat her simply because the sis was cheated by a SGrean before. She managed to get rid of that mindset and only then can we carry on. Now she trust me more than I trust myself.

Also sometimes in a Normal BGR, 2 persons can be in love but still not be compatible, cos they are moving at different pace, have different expectations/needs, etc. When that happens, it is best to set each other free. That was why Dancer and I finally decided to break up after trying to comeback 3 times. I wanted it fast. she needs it slow. She asked me to give my tirak a chance. I did and the rest is history. I know she regreted it but it is too late now.

[OceanEleven]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

Thats fine actually but its worrying to see that your desire is not only to just go for that fish. You actually wanted to rear it. Do you know the breed of the fish well?

I think the bottom line is up to the personal opinion, at least he bother to find out and that's the minimum. Not like some fellows just because the gals called a few times a day, send some lovey dovey SMSes and then self declare tirak. On the other hand, if one dont rear, he will never find out and just be another carrot to the cake.......
[QUOTE=siamcutey]
I think we think too much of ourselves many points of time. When the going gets tough and you know the cold harsh truth, will you be able to summon enough courage to leave or will you persist on?
[QUOTE=siamcutey]
These are options, to persists or withdraw. No right or wrong.

Originally Posted by siamcutey

Sadly, I always seen many choosing the latter route. They know the truth, they know everything, but they still want to go on, cos the love in their heart has blinded not only their eyes, but also the heart.

Like you said, since many are lost, what is more for to be lost already.

Originally Posted by siamcutey

Sorry, I am a firm believer of the bread and water. Love can live on plain air, but we can't. The only love I believe in is parental/family love.
SC

Each to their own, sometime it is the fantasy that entice one to pursue. Not all have the chance to pursue his fantansy, so some choose to when the chance is here. Let the nature regins......

[free]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

Dun worry when they encounter the situation like me in LOS, they will automatically have courage to "leur gan nair nair".......

As what you say, setting them free is as good as setting yourself free!

U mean u setting yrself free now?

[Bangkok Master]

Originally Posted by free

U mean u setting yrself free now?

Frankly speaking before that I was the same as you and suteerak and I had always mantain the positive approach to love and I still believe there is true love. But sad to say in the real world, there are far too many realistic commitments to be fufilled. I had taken a risk which far too away from my expectation, I thought by sacrificing everything to come here, I would at least get a happy life with my girl despite everything is tough but I realise it was different from my script.

Some of the bros here know my story and I had given up my gf mainly due to the financial aspects and I can say that no matter how unmaterialistic your tirak or gf is there is always a burden to carry and for me the burden became far too heavy for me to carry on. I had no regrets spending time and $ here as the experience taught me to see things better in future, rather than living for a fantasy or miracle to happen.

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

lol... sounds familiar.. if my memory serves me correctly, its a scene taken from the cartoon movie "lion king"... where the hyenas were joking about the name "Mufasa"...haha.
TV, inspired by hyena ah..? lol

oh n btw, how about sharing a thing or 2 from ur perspectives/experiences..? should prove quite valid info for all aspiring tiraks & TG lovers leh..

Quite difficult leh...

When you first started the thread, you're talking about being the tirak of a WL, but as the thread progresses, it goes deeper and now its about Thai girls in general.

Coming in with my perspective would disrupt the "flow" of the thread so best just sit back and enjoy reading lor....

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

...But sad to say in the real world, there are far too many realistic commitments to be fufilled. I had taken a risk which far too away from my expectation, I thought by sacrificing everything to come here, I would at least get a happy life with my girl despite everything is tough but I realise it was different from my script....

hey BM, respect to u for sharing ur woes. its sad to say that some gals out there will play a gd game of KC, by that i'm generally implying the entire female gender. naturally, when the gal wants something.. she'd use the soft technique or hit the man's soft spot. so...in simple terms, man will fall bcos of 1 woman (or cb if it makes anyone feel better)

its been proven by many sources, be it philosophy or science, woman r creatures w many short term goals/desire, the brain can scatter like spilt beans when presented too many options ie: shopping mall vs topography, psychomoto vs multi-tasking. whilst men r focused beings n can run the long mile to achieve that 1 goal. for that, the diverse characteristics r made for each other. it takes a man to give a woman wat she needs n want.. so there's no way a woman (even a career woman) can tell a man to shut up...simply cos she's clueless.

similiarly, even the most kwailan WL will need the calibrated man to lead the way, show her the future.. direct her thinking if she's clueless/lost. the only reason y i think most fail in this case... is nothing bt lack of commitment or instability in certain crucial decision making scenarios. bt no worries BM, still respect u for wat u did... just wishing u better luck n that u've found better solutions should u be presented the prospects of finding true love again.

chok-dee na krup~!

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

similiarly, even the most kwailan WL will need the calibrated man to lead the way, show her the future.. direct her thinking if she's clueless/lost. the only reason y i think most fail in this case... is nothing bt lack of commitment or instability in certain crucial decision making scenarios.

I really think you haven't had a most kwailan WL as your tirak yet.

How do you think about 1 that is as combative as the siam fighting fish? Fighting with girls from her house? Fighting in disco with other customers till the bouncer have to throw her out? Her anger cannot be appeased and she even wanted to kill her boss in GL? Her hobby is to pick up fights and find quarrels. And she is an alcoholic.

If not for me, the day when she fought at the disco, she would now be back in thailand rather than still in geylang working. Fighting in a disco, you think her boss is there to save her? The bouncers already want to call in police.

SC

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

...When you first started the thread, you're talking about being the tirak of a WL, but as the thread progresses, it goes deeper and now its about Thai girls in general.

Coming in with my perspective would disrupt the "flow" of the thread so best just sit back and enjoy reading lor....

c'mon dont be shy, we're all here to share our woes/treats to learn from each other's situations, eventually its gonna help us a little for the long triathlon race. no doubt it started out intended more for sharng of some personal experiences n to define the entrapments, solutions & resolutions to iron out creases. then again.. things started digressing a little, as we're now deiberating more often on the "evil" in the WL's trait.

nevertheless, cross-referencing of the woman/female gender vs the KC traps of the WL/FL etc.. helps to dispell the common misconception of them in this flesh trade. its afterall still an occupation n nothing's making them change who they r.. so with ample time spent n $ invested in 1... he should know by now the predicaments that put them here, n for fate to unite the 2 lost souls.

sad to say, it has to be in the less desired place as per deemed in the eyes of the screwed/selfish society, bt many choose for the sake of 'face'/reputation to deny himself the prospects of bliss & happiness, for the other party (girl) would perhaps be more than appreciative for him who demonstrates love, care & kindness... n devote her lifetime of love n gratitude towards his magnanimousity.

b4 the scales get too lob-sided.. perhaps u could share a little cent or 2 for the benefit of those who've been patiently reading/learning intently like most ardent fans do...?

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

I really think you haven't had a most kwailan WL as your tirak yet....If not for me, the day when she fought at the disco, she would now be back in thailand rather than still in geylang working. Fighting in a disco, you think her boss is there to save her? The bouncers already want to call in police...

bro, thanx for ur testimony.. u've just proven my pt. u've been the life-changing tirak for her.. (at least at the spur of the moment) she was willing to simmer down, bcos u're there to appease matters. had it been some other joker ie: SM.. both the 2 of them would've mounted the loti-chia hand-in-hand, handcuffed like a lawfully wedded couple in "rolex" courtesy of our SPF.

it takes a bigger heart to accomodate such issues. nt saying that u must be the 1 to cause her to mend her ways, bt i think its credible effort on ur part for now. kudos to u bro... kindness be-gets kindness. jai yen yen na...

[free]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

Frankly speaking before that I was the same as you and suteerak and I had always mantain the positive approach to love and I still believe there is true love. But sad to say in the real world, there are far too many realistic commitments to be fufilled. I had taken a risk which far too away from my expectation, I thought by sacrificing everything to come here, I would at least get a happy life with my girl despite everything is tough but I realise it was different from my script.

Some of the bros here know my story and I had given up my gf mainly due to the financial aspects and I can say that no matter how unmaterialistic your tirak or gf is there is always a burden to carry and for me the burden became far too heavy for me to carry on. I had no regrets spending time and $ here as the experience taught me to see things better in future, rather than living for a fantasy or miracle to happen.

I am sorry to hear about yr situation. I hope it will not change your perspective of what Love is. All of us must learn from past experience and give ourselves a chance to do it better the next time around.

What u said above is something that applies to any BGR with any gal, irregardless of which country she is from. In any BGR (or in anything for that matter), there is a price to pay. This is called "Counting the cost". Sometimes the cost is indeed more than we had expected and we may give up because the burden has become too heavy. The cost is not always financial in nature, though that is often part of it.

Not able able to pay the cost is so different from saying that the gal is out to cheat the guy and rip him of all life in the first place. That is what I have been saying all this while. I too have to count my costs and if anything I have done it twice already. Yet my views in the BGR thingy has not change,. cos I did not start with an illusion in the first place, contrary to what some may think. Optimism? Yes, Illusion? No.

I have ups and downs together with my tirak, and when I am on the up, she rides with me. And when I am down, all the more she has been with me - even right now and I appreciate her for that. Whether that change in the future, I do not know for it has yet to arrive. All I can say for now is that I dun see it on the horizon but I am not going to take it for granted that it won't happen. I can do my part and let her do hers, as we have both agreed.